Articles, Blog

…Who Are You?

October 19, 2019


Hey, Kevin here. But who are you.com redirects
to something called the Sanctuary for Peace. Not the greatest of DONGs. But fear not! If
you want to go deeper into the land of self-discovery, I’ve got some awesome free DONGs and some
luxurious premium DONGs. Things you can Do Online Now, Guys. Ever look in the mirror and wonder, “have
I been pwned.com”? By typing in your email or username, HaveIBeenPwned will search through
major company leaks and see if any of them match your information. If you’ve never
been hacked you’ll see a green screen pop up… Unless, of course, you suffer from colorblindness.
According to the Xrite Online Color Challenge, 1 out of 12 men and 1 out of 255 women have
some form of color vision deficiency. Based on the Farnsworth Munsell 100 Hue Test, it’s
four rows of a color chart and you have to arrange the colors in order of hue. If you
want to remember this later, just leave yourself a message for the future. At Future Self, record a short video message
to play back at a later date. Allowing right now you to send a message to future you. My
high school message to me would be: Don’t be afraid to turn yourself into digital currency. GeneCoin offers you the chance to backup your
genome sequencing to the Bitcoin Network. GeneCoin claims this allows permanent cloud
storage for your most important data—you. So maybe money doesn’t grow on trees, but
it now grows on family trees. And where does your family tree come from?
23andMe takes a sample of your saliva and in 6-8 weeks provides you with an ancestry
and wellness report. If you live in select European nations, you have access to even
more information – like inherited conditions, drug responses, genetic risk factors, genetic
traits and more. Ever wonder if there’s someone out there
who looks just like you? TwinStrangers collects a database of its members, so you can find
your identical match. All you have to do is make a profile, upload two pictures, and answer
some simple questions about your facial features. In the hopes of discovering any long lost
evil twins. Forget giving your child a boring, old teddy
bear to cuddle with at naptime. Now with DNALegacy, you can store your DNA in a small capsule
for them. So your family and friends can hold onto you forever, but not in a creepy way.
Well it is kinda a creep way. If you’re looking for a long lost relative
– DNA Family Check can help. Someone out there may have a small genetic link to you, here’s
your chance to find them. And don’t forget your canine family. Wisdom Panel allows you
to find out your dog’s breed with a simple cotton swab DNA test. But you don’t have to wait to find out your
personality! Ipersonic is a personality test that takes less than 3 minutes. It’s available
in 26 languages and only asks 4 questions, but is surprisingly insightful. Whether you’re
an engaged idealist or individualist doer, you might just learn a thing or two about
yourself… Which will come in handy since You’re Getting
Old.com Plug in your birthday and learn tons of interesting facts about the glorious day
you were born. Like how many miles you’ve traveled around the center of the earth as
it rotates, and how many people were born the same day. It’s everything that’s been
happening since you’ve been on Earth… These DONGs were pulled together by our friends
over at Wisecrack. Be sure to check out their channel by clicking HERE, where you’ll be
introduced to their smart, hilarious videos exploring the deeper meaning in your favorite
movies, video games, TV shows, books, and more. Seriously: go check them out and subscribe
while you’re there. Tell them DONG sent you! And as always, thanks for watching.

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100 Comments

  • Reply Griffiss January 31, 2016 at 5:08 am

    I got 12 on the colour acuity test. What about you guy?

  • Reply It's-a-me January 31, 2016 at 5:10 am

    luxurious dongs

  • Reply OreoEP January 31, 2016 at 5:28 am

    I love waking up to a fresh dong in the morning

  • Reply Meghan Denny January 31, 2016 at 6:19 am

    I want a donut.

  • Reply Burrito God January 31, 2016 at 6:23 am

    It's not really something you can "Do Online Now Guys" if you have to put in your credit card information to some random website just to make it work…

  • Reply imAlex January 31, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    why is this mostly dna stuff

  • Reply Mason H January 31, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    I'm mason

  • Reply The Little Gremlin January 31, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    My dong is bigger and better( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • Reply gale m. January 31, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    The personality test was surprisingly correct.

  • Reply Cyril Ya'ule III January 31, 2016 at 7:12 pm

    luxurious premium dongs

  • Reply washabe January 31, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    Your score: 36Best score for your gender and age range: -162Highest score for your gender and age range: 4000953God

  • Reply Twit _ January 31, 2016 at 8:24 pm

    He like the gingerbread man

  • Reply Benjamin Natividad January 31, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Can someone please direct me to the DONG that includes mention of "petittube"?

  • Reply Stellar Mapping February 1, 2016 at 2:47 am

    Independent Thinker – my Myers-Briggs Personality is INTP. Makes sense.

  • Reply Delcan February 1, 2016 at 5:05 am

    Premium DONGs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • Reply James Franklin February 1, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Apparently I'm British in my future self

  • Reply Rever Man February 1, 2016 at 11:16 pm

    It's very cool to have all of you guys doing the dongs!

  • Reply hojokono February 2, 2016 at 2:44 am

    84.99 usd to check what my dog is ffs, no

  • Reply Kommentor Postker February 2, 2016 at 4:47 am

    "HEYYYY KIDDOSSSSSSSSS!……WANNA BUY SUM' DONGSSSSSSS??????"

  • Reply Bradley Andrew February 2, 2016 at 11:08 pm

    Pwned by Heroes of Newerth really!

  • Reply maddnes hour February 3, 2016 at 5:26 am

    why are you dressed like a old lady

  • Reply Nicolai February 3, 2016 at 2:11 pm

    Try gabens email

    it has apparently been pwned XD

  • Reply Mike February 3, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Got a 0 on my color score ~( 'u ' )~

  • Reply Psykhedelic February 3, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Guess i'm a dreamy idealist according to the personality test 🙂

  • Reply Mk. V Procrastinator February 3, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Why did one of the Vsauce2/3 shows get its own channel?

  • Reply storytellerjack22 February 4, 2016 at 2:41 am

    In your silent pause at the end you reminded me so much of Luke Skywalker.

  • Reply Easton Farnsworth February 4, 2016 at 5:01 am

    Farnsworth you say?

  • Reply Justin Giglio February 4, 2016 at 6:57 am

    tagpro

  • Reply arespinoza85 February 4, 2016 at 8:36 am

    Your (my) score: 8
    Gender: Male
    Age range: 30-39
    Best score for your gender and age range: 0
    Highest score for your gender and age range: 1520

  • Reply Jason Wood February 4, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    The personality test was a dud for me.
    Youregettingold was really interesting.

  • Reply Michael Adams February 4, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Good news, I haven't been pwned.

  • Reply Punhcing_Stuff February 4, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    1:21 lol doge

  • Reply Ishan February 5, 2016 at 2:51 am

    0:32 near the bottom is says YouPorn

  • Reply Prisma February 5, 2016 at 4:00 am

    23andme reminds me of something straight out of 1984

  • Reply sirias27 February 5, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    my father tested 23&me, it was really precise

  • Reply Purple Productions February 6, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    …Ipersonic didn't help at all…

  • Reply General Maul February 6, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    0:31 YouPorn on the bottom left lol.

  • Reply quietthomas February 6, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    SEPARATE DONG AND LOOT.

  • Reply Myconix February 6, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    So Ipersonic is basically a poor man's Myers-Briggs?

  • Reply Childplay February 7, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    I love dongs

  • Reply Danna May February 8, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Can you do kid fact

  • Reply Kinorian February 8, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    Colour blind score of 15 isnt too bad I guess, also that iPersonic nailed it pretty accurately and actually thinking of getting one of those career profiles…

  • Reply Elad Karako February 8, 2016 at 11:36 pm

    u didn't put wisecrack link for mobile devices…

  • Reply Elad Karako February 8, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    nevermind, wisecrack has a really crappy content.

  • Reply firas alboni February 10, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    The you in future thing is MIND BLOWING! I just talked with me! ME IN THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Laurel Rogers February 12, 2016 at 2:01 am

    Hylarious!

  • Reply cherzerd the meme February 13, 2016 at 1:38 am

    0/10 need more expanding dong

  • Reply Lyqe February 13, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Hehe…dongs

  • Reply Ammar Firdaus789 February 13, 2016 at 8:50 am

    I've tried the age thing, they told me that my age is (in days) daughter of Matt Damon's and Christiano Ronaldo Junior 's combine.

  • Reply Natalie February 13, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    i got a 12 on the color blind test.. and the highest score was like 700,000 .-. wat

  • Reply filthygarbage February 14, 2016 at 12:35 pm

    0:32 YouPorn… RLY

  • Reply Cameron Hawkins February 17, 2016 at 4:48 am

    And tell them, DONG sent you….. (awkward silence)

  • Reply Megan Gill February 18, 2016 at 12:27 am

    I got 0 on the colour test! Yay! Perfect colour vision. I would hope so being a Graphic Designer

  • Reply XxxOctoberxxX123 February 18, 2016 at 8:52 am

    Your score: 7
    Gender: Female
    Age range: 20-29
    Best score for your gender and age range: -80
    Highest score for your gender and age range: 567471

    How does this work now?

  • Reply Brian Patrick van Oers February 20, 2016 at 4:43 am

    The personality needs a better translation to dutch, I mean they don't use to be, It's like reading something like: "I pizza for dinner"

  • Reply imboiguys February 20, 2016 at 5:48 am

    when im bored i get to the do online now guy!

  • Reply minecraftpro941 February 21, 2016 at 2:13 am

    Hello, 'WHO ARE YOU?'. I'm Sans. (Megalovana intensifies)

  • Reply Lucas z February 21, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    no one

  • Reply ThaVrisco February 21, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    1 out of 12 guys? Dang. I'm glad I'm not one of them.

  • Reply What 0_0 February 23, 2016 at 8:50 am

    For some reason whenever I see the thumbnail I always think it's Pewdipie's video XD

  • Reply Checometer February 25, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Well, great.
    I went on haveibeenpwned and found out I got pwned from NexusMods on my birthday last year…

  • Reply Logan Chellman March 5, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    did twin strangers
    this guy named satin came up.

  • Reply bleuthoot March 10, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    I'm getting old…

  • Reply Xerosis March 17, 2016 at 12:01 am

    Who am I ??? I'm goddamn Heisenberg …

  • Reply xClordon_ April 1, 2016 at 8:42 pm

    Well uh, im ethan bradberry

  • Reply Sófi Anita April 7, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Who am I?
    I'm…

    John Cena

  • Reply Brandon Hills April 16, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    my dad is color blind

  • Reply rhombus April 21, 2016 at 1:07 am

    Let's keep this comment at an even amount of likes :3

  • Reply Thunderlight Creations April 21, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Who are you?
    I'm no-one.
    (Star Wars: The Force Awakens music plays)

  • Reply Jan Berrios May 6, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Are all of these for free?

  • Reply CodeKillerz May 6, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Out of the 100,000 people born on the same day as you approximately 11 are still living

    o_O

  • Reply Nishada Banana May 23, 2016 at 11:47 pm

    Good, haven't been pwned 😛

  • Reply AnieRrn May 26, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    How on earth is storing my DNA in a capsule something I can do online now, guys?

  • Reply Infamous Pilgrim21 June 2, 2016 at 3:42 am

    man these are quality dongs

  • Reply Chof Chof July 23, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    im topy

  • Reply QwertzyIsAbductedByIsisToChangeHisName August 18, 2016 at 2:20 am

    Some very exclusive dong-Oh my ding ding dong,my shalalalalala

  • Reply M Benson September 3, 2016 at 4:08 am

    Is it just me or is the Ipersonic test just condensed MBTI?

  • Reply Eric Almon September 11, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    Has anyone been pwned?

  • Reply nmheath03 September 19, 2016 at 3:05 am

    2:32
    That pug is traumatized.

  • Reply Jake The Mario Fan September 22, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    What if I'm the evil twin?

  • Reply Taylor FireFlame September 25, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Groundbreaking Thinker :3 #nochin

  • Reply Electroshockist September 28, 2016 at 3:35 am

    For the colourblind test, for men, someone has already made the best score -80085.

    That's "boobs" for those who don't get it.

  • Reply T W E N T Y O N E A E S T H E T I C September 30, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    I did the personality thing, and I'm 'the analytical thinker' ._.

  • Reply DD Luigi October 2, 2016 at 5:05 am

    When he said "THE FUTURE"
    I though it was my dad yelling at me in the middle of the night. I got so scared

  • Reply HBL October 5, 2016 at 3:32 am

    I got a 4 on the color thingy.

  • Reply Stevie Boi October 5, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    Title: Who are you?
    ME: JOHN CENAA

  • Reply rascal6543 October 5, 2016 at 10:36 pm

    lol just before watching this i got an ad that said "do you dare question you you really are?"

  • Reply Jorma Uotinen October 8, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    What is that song's name in the beginning?

  • Reply Hoshimaru57 October 16, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I can see perfect color apparently. Still don't know why there are negative numbers. And I'm an Individualistic Doer. No one tells me what to do, but if I was looking for something to do and it interests me (like these), I'm open to suggestions.

  • Reply 74oshua November 19, 2016 at 3:00 am

    I took the color test and got a perfect score, woo!

  • Reply oog November 25, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    ive been pwned

  • Reply RawJoeTaco December 4, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    youre birthday is one away from mine

  • Reply Jay Mehta December 24, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Yay 0 for my colorblind test!

  • Reply A guy who exists February 25, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    One out of 255? But every RGB hue goes up to 255…

  • Reply Bob Richardson March 22, 2017 at 8:27 am

    Who am I?

    I am heavy weapons guy, and THIS…is my weapon…

  • Reply Spaghetti Tuesday May 8, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    The title reminds me of Skyrim

  • Reply Sawyer Lorance May 28, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Speaking of spit… want some spit facts?!

  • Reply Cheeseburger Monkey October 12, 2017 at 12:00 am

    the "You're Getting Old" dong says that im the youngest to go there

  • Reply Schachter Factor November 23, 2017 at 4:59 am

    Ipersonic is basically an MBTI test but with specific type names instead of the four-letter code.

  • Reply Andrew W April 1, 2019 at 8:21 am

    NOT pwned

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