Dude stop being gross. [laughs] Etcetera, etcetera. Ooh, master. Alright, defeated. So now I can do… I can fartkour. Hopefully it works this time. [reads text] What? Yea see, it works this time. Why was the other one so ridiculous? Shut up dude, I don’t need your comments. Why can’t I talk to this guy? Who are you? Picture? Yea I know, the least you can do is let me
take a picture of whoever the heck you are. Simon. Simon? Oh I found… oh. Ok Morgan Freeman. That was weird. Oh these are firecrackers. Am I trying to blow this up? For some strange reason. Wait. What? Yea I know dude. Ba-blam. Ok, I don’t know what that did. I know which is why I’m so confused
why it didn’t work the other time. Now get me off this goddamn roof. Yes! He’s so enthusiastic. Memberberry farms juicer crank. It’s a mission item. Ok so now I have my things. I gotta craft that thing for some reason.
I don’t know what it does. Cheesy shrimp — crap I’m outta fricking… Goddammit. Um. I think I can get it at the Wok right? Which is just… It’s actually kinda far but it’s the closest… well I think, unless there’s fast travel point. No I don’t think so. Goddammit I gotta walk all the way back. Oh it’s just here. [sighs] I’m getting all turned around. I’m getting on it! Not gonna work for you. I need this. While I’m here, let me get some extras. Oh also, can I sell my crap? Is there such things as junk? I guess not huh. I thought I got junk stuff though.
How do I get rid of junk? Hmm. Unless I can’t sell junk here. That could be a thing. Now I can craft the cheesy shrimparito. This is a key item, cannot be sold. Craftable once. Ok. Made it. Ooh, instant level up. So what’d I do with that? What, agreed to what? Do you wanna take a picture now? But I bought stuff from you. So rude. I swear to god. I need to go back here. But there’s no fast travel point here. Why not? Really? Well, this is hecking dumb. Maybe I missed one. Maybe there’s
a thing over here somewhere. I’ll just go to this one. Catch ya later alligator. What do I do? Are you expecting me to eat it
and just fart or something? [reads text] Ok I’m eating it. I ate it. Nom nom nom. Timefart unlock. Pause. [reads text] Ok. Oh god, it’s timed. How… Oh geez. K, think we’re good. I guess. Oh. Lame system. Why are you here dude? You didn’t help before. I’m a girl. I guess you don’t know. Why did I walk behind the counter? You wanna take a picture bro? Uh how dare. I don’t know, everything probably. Budtender. Oh. You work here? You’re a real thing? You just said you don’t wanna get high. Yea that’s not real. [chuckles] His kid is towelette. Ok Towelie, I don’t wanna
hear your whole backstory. I’m just here for some medicine. Towelie, are you sure you’re on drugs?
You seem a little stressed. Ok sure. There’s another Classi? Towelie please. For the love of god calm down. You are not chilled at all. Please get some chill. Dude, everybody’s back hurts. Do I gotta go beat up some six graders to get some drugs? Dude chill. Dude, what… Sober Towelie. I gotta fight you? Calm Towelie down. Well dude, it was time for a beating given all the stupid advice you keep giving me. I gotta fight your employees too? Some… Wait, cancel. …sh*t. No move for you Towelie. Goddammit. Oh my god. Do you? It’s two against three. It’s bleeding time. Well you guys need to chill out before you try helping anybody ok. It’s only harassment if your
coworkers harassing you. Is anything? Oh why… what? Oh god, he’s gonna set us on fire. Dammit! But it’s ok, I got them cleansings. Dammit, this dude… Dude those kicks are hard ok. I gotta take ‘em down one by one ‘cause this is pretty intense. Oh crap, I missed the second one. Manscaping. I kinda wanna heal but you know what?
I wanna kill you first. You are the worst employer. Stop setting me on fire for the love of god. You need to calm down dude. You need to calm your ass down. Oh wait, it doesn’t do any damage. Crap. What? Why? You stupid towel! Ok I’mma… Why am I just stuck? Oh sh*t. What? Oh. OH. So it calms him down? Oh. That’s why you’re setting me on fire. But also let me heal. [chuckles] I gotta heal. I gotta get you the weeds so you calm down dude. You’ve been a huge dick! Oh crap. You better get outta there. You’re gonna die. Don’t wanna waste another…
Oh I’m not actually supposed to beat you. I’m supposed to set the weeds on fire. Dude stop it, don’t kill him ok. It’s only two of us. [reads text] I know what I have to do ok. I’m trying but he’s standing on it so that blows. Should I heal you? I don’t want you to die I mean. Let’s heal. I mean you are on fire. Wait, one of four piles. I only see two. Oh three. I’m trying dude! It’s a lot of work ok. Can I heal you too? Ok that’s good. Um but you know what, let me stand over here. Oh the weed pile’s over here! I see. K, let me heal you. Also you’re not the leader,
I’m the leader. You’re just a sidekick. It kinda sucks. I have to let him set us on fire. So I can set the weeds on fire.
Dude I still can’t go here. This is some sh*t dude. What the hell? What the hell? I guess I gotta swap places with
you ‘cause you’re in my way! I’m trying but they have infinite health. I know but you have to be. Yea well, I’m not on fire anymore so I gotta do this. Maximum absorbency. Are you… why don’t you set us on fire?
God it’s hurting me so much! Damage too severe, man. It’s insane. How about every time we set something on fire,
it reduces your damage ‘cause this… You’re going so crazy. Oh it worked. Oh. Let me set this on fire. Yea, yea, yea. I’m trying but it’s so far away. Can I ultimate you guys? Eh why not. Oh god. Don’t die. Oh boy. God I wish I could heal both of us. But I can’t. This is bad. I’mma heal you and hope I don’t die. I miss the whole revive and heal full health thing that we had. Ooh this is bad. This is real bad. Real bad. Are you dead yet? Oh this is real bad. You are all in my way. Oh we’re gonna die. Sh*t I should’ve canceled that. Does it still work? I don’t know. We’re about to die. It might be too late I think. Did it work? Oh thank frick. Alright can I rush through you ‘cause I need to… Although you’re not on fire anymore so I probably should’ve heal. Yea well dude I need to heal. It’s like I gotta keep myself
on fire but I gotta heal. This is some sh*t. He’s gonna die. ‘cause once it’s your turn, you burn. Although I guess I can heal. Shut up dude! Ok I’m trying my damnedest. Towelie is just crazy. You’re on fire, that’s why. [chuckles] Alright can we get there? Oh can I dash there? Is that a thing I can do? Probably not. Goddamn… unless… Can you walk after… I can’t remember. I can never remember. Let me just get another turn. Nice. It’s on fire now dude. Chill out. Are you chilled now? I mean it’s all on fire. It’s all burning. Are you mellowed out? Can I heal myself now? I’m gonna heal myself dude. Screw you. Oh I got another turn? I’ll heal you. Shut the hell up dude.
I’m healing you, you better appreciate ok. Alright healed and healed. You’re high. [chuckles] Yea, calm your stupid towel ass down. Wow. Mellowed pain receptors. That was ridiculous. Dude you are a mess. You need to go to rehab. Defeat Towelie. That was weird. Ok um. So… oh boy. I gotta go to Jimmy’s house. I gotta go check if there’s actually
another fast travel point that way. I don’t think there is ‘cause I don’t remember
seeing one but let’s check. Dammit there’s no fast travel point.
It’s blocked off by lava. Son of a gun. This is dumb. Hello, I’m back with the drugs. I mean medicine. Yea I had to go through a lot to get that. It’s even in a bottle and everything. You already lost your fricking mind. Yea he hung up already. Ok that was weird. Where’s the… Where’s the thing? Wait, what is that? Yaoi. Where’s the U-Stor-It? Uh what? Can I help you officer? No it’s not me. You got the wrong person. Why? You don’t have evidence of any… ok. Super Craig. What? Who? Crunchy… What? Why does everybody want
something from me? Everybody wants something from me. Good lord. So how many quests I got?
I got so much crap I gotta do. Talk to Detective Harris. Just cause. Talk to Mr. Mackey. Below recommended might. Why am I so weak? Have I not been doing enough stuff? Go to Crunchy Micro Brew. Ok. Maybe I should go do this thing so I get more experience and level up. This one is like super low
for some reason though. So… alright I think I’m gonna go do Craig’s thing which is ugh god all the way fricking here. And then maybe I’ll take this on
and then I’ll try the other stuff. ‘cause I don’t know.
For some reason I’m way under the recommended thing so let me pin that. Alright let’s go talk to Super Craig.