you

You Don’t Work Here, Sir.
XL This is the reverse of this sub’s typical
scenario but I thought it might be close enough to post. Names have been changed because the internet
is where mean people live. I’ll be Jane Smith in this story. I’m getting ready for work this morning when
I hear my dog barking downstairs. She’s really losing her mind so I pop down and peek out
the window to see what the fuss is about. To my surprise, I see a man on my front porch.
I open the door and see that it’s contractor I’d hired to work on my house about a year
ago. We will call him Bob the Builder. “Morning!” He says cheerily. “Hi,” I respond, wondering what on earth he
is doing here. “I’m Bob. Bob the Builder.” “Yeah, I remember you,” I say. How’ve you
been?” “Good, how about you?” He responds. There’s an awkward pause as I wait for him
to explain his presence. He doesn’t seem to think an explanation is required so I ask,
“So…what’s up?” “I’m here to take a look inside your house,”
he says. “Huh?” Now I’m getting a little concerned.
I’m home alone and while Bob’s a nice enough guy, there’s no reason I can think of why
he’d want to come inside my house, and I’m not about to invite him in. “You wanted me to take a look at something
inside your house,” he says. “Umm…no I didn’t.” “Sure, you did,” he says. ” I told you yesterday
I’d come by.” Grasping at straws, I ask “Did my husband
contact you? John?” “Nope, it was you.” He’s still so cheery and
confident that I briefly begin to question whether I’ve had some kind of profound and
concerning memory lapse, but I push that thought aside and begin to try to get it across that
I had not contacted him and do not need or want him to come inside my house. Patiently, he explains, “We talked yesterday.
You asked me to come over here. You said you were Jane Barrington…” “Smith,” I interject, but he either doesn’t
hear me or is simply so convinced he knows what he’s talking about that he just doesn’t
process it. “Jane Barrington,” he repeats, “and that your
roof was leaking..” I cut him off here. “I’m Jane Smith. I’m not
Jane Barrington.” “Oh my God,” he says, as he finally understands
what’s going on. If I had it on video, the expression on his face would be perfect for
the “watch people die inside” subreddit. He begins apologizing, clearly profoundly
embarrassed. I’m just relieved that everything makes sense now and tell him it’s no problem.
We both laugh it off. He then realizes that he has no idea where
the real Jane Barrington lives. When he heard the name Jane and assumed that he was talking
to me, he didnt think he needed an address because he remembers my house well. So he
has no idea where he is supposed to be and is now late to meet a brand new client. He starts scrolling through stuff on his phone
to try to figure out how to reach her. Clearly his morning has now gotten off to a rough
start. I wished him luck finding her and sent him on his way. I knew it would happen but hoped it wouldn’t.
XL Couple of preface. I’m on cell and not using
the official app or website, so structure might get weird. Cast M-me G- greeter NM- nice manager EL-
Elder Lady EC- Entitled Customer Backstory, I have been unemployed since September 19
and started working for a shopper delivery program to pay for gas,insurance,and car note.
This happened about 2 weeks ago so I’m going to be close but it’s memory. So I’m at a store I regularly shop at, it’s
kinda like Walmart but it’s not, I wave hello to the greeter and head to produce which is
the first section entering in the food side. I’m minding my business checking the app for
the customer’s order and occasionally directing lost customers to items such as avacado, or
plums which had small displays. I see EL kind of struggling a bit and decided to see if
I can help. M: Hi, I apologize but you look a little lost
do you need any help I’m a (company) shopper. EL: thank you I recently moved in with my
daughter and have never been in this particular store. I continue shopping for my customer and stay
near EL to help her with her list. All is going well and even with my good dead for
the day I’m still on schedule. EL says to me that she is going to head to check out,
and added that my mother must be proud. Enter our antagonist. EC: oh good your finally done with her. I simply walked on as I assumed he was talking
to a nearby employee. EC rushes I front of me. EC: Hi do I have your attention now? M: Oh sorry I thought you were talking to
an employee. EC: I am, aren’t I? M: No I don’t work her… EC: I don’t care if it’s near your break time
you still work here otherwise you wouldn’t have been helping her. M: I helped her out of kindness, and I don’t
work here. I push my cart around him an walk off. I don’t
suffer idiots or entitled people to well. I’m heading to the front to check out when
I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I spin around as best I can. EC: You don’t just walk away from a customer At this point I unzip my jacket, which thinking
now should have been a giveaway as it was one I got at home depot, and showed him my
shirt with a drag queen on it. M: Does this look like a uniform to you? EC: I’m going to get you fired. G go get a
manager NOW. The greeter gets on the radio and calls for
LP and a manager. So we’re both staring daggers at each other
while waiting for a manager to come by in dead silence. I’m 6’1 430 pounds staring down
5’10 maybe 180 pounds and other customers are gathering around just incase. Enter our hero. NM: OK what seems to be going on. The crowd disperses and I motion to EC to
go ahead and get some rope. EC: I followed this employee for 15 minutes
while he helped an elderly woman, then he refused to help me. I want him fired and I
want to watch him sign the termination papers. You are not going to protect him. NM looks at me: and what’s your story then. I simply pulled out my phone and showed her
the shopper app. G: He shops for people. He’s in 4 times a
day some days. NM looks at EC and shakes her head. It seems
like the pieces are finally coming together,or he can see the code of the matrix as his self
righteous smile faded. EC: Well then. Umm which aisle is cereal? M, NM, and G: aisle 19. Hopefully you enjoyed. Also moral for any
Karen or Chad types, don’t argue. If you ask nicely I find many people will help employee
or not. Lemme guess…you don’t work here either?
L I work in a mall and our store has carpet
floors and the worst vacuum so I usually borrowed the vacuum from the neighbouring greeting
card store. I went over one day to ask for it and while the cashier grabbed it from the
back for me I waited by the door. This lady came up and started saying “excuse
me. Excuse me. Excuse me.” Over and over in a monotone voice and me, being spaced out,
didn’t realize she was talking to me until she tapped me on the shoulder. She seemed
annoyed and asked if we sold playing cards. I said “OH, I don’t work here sorry, but
I don’t think they do”. She completely ignored me and turned to the door to the back
room and started saying “excuse me” over and over again, louder but still monotone.
I said “the cashier is just in the back grabbing something for me, she’ll be back
in a minute”. This woman then starts opening the door to the back room and I told her she
shouldn’t do that. She huffed at me and said “I thought you didn’t work here.” The cashier came out with the vacuum and told
her no, they don’t sell playing cards and I went back to my store. About 10 minutes
later, I’m organizing my own store, and this same woman comes in. She takes one look
at me and says “let me guess, you don’t work here either.” I said I did work here
and asked if she needed any help with anything. She said “if you’re at work why are you
wandering around other stores?” And walked out again. After I was sure she was gone of course I
went back to our neighbouring store and told the cashier what happened and we had a good
laugh about her. I knew all the answers so I decided to help…
but then a line formed. M
So this happened a few years ago when I was working retail.. We had this seasonal event
so I was wearing this bright red shirt that only people working would wear. It definitely
wasnt a stretch for someone to think I worked at any given location. On lunch I went the grocery store nearby where
I always grabbed my lunch so I was familiar with the layout and the general processes. While at the salad bar a man approached me
asking where he could buy wine, so I directed him to the wine rack within the store. I guess
this particular day people were starved for help because another woman promptly came up
to me and asked where the salad bar attendant was… At this point I could see several people poke
their heads up like velociraptors finding some prey they can congregate around… I
decided to help her anyways and immediately a line formed for my services. It was at this point I decided my brief service
at the grocery store had to come to an end and I advised everyone I do not in fact work
here, but happened to know the answers to a few questions. Everyone had a good laugh
and applauded my willingness to help people even though it wasnt my job. My next few shifts during our event I wore
a sweater when doing errands on my lunch break… just in case. Long story short: I inadvertently formed a
line of people asking for my help at a store I didnt work at. Crabby Old Man Harassed My Overly Nice Mother
Over a Table L
This happened to my mom and I today at a fairly high-end home furnishing store. We shopped
around until we found what we wanted to buy, then waited in some comfy chairs by the entrance
while some nice workers helped to pack the item up really well so it wouldn’t break
while we drove it home. [Enter Crabby Old Man and Wife] COM: Walks through the entrance, sees me and
my mom in the middle of a conversation, “Hello” Mom: (being as nice as she is) “Hello! How
are you doing today, sir?” COM: “I’m good, how about you?” Mom: “I’m great thank you! Hard to complain
when it’s such a beautiful day out!” She then turned back to me, “so what I was saying
was tha-“ COM: “We’re looking for a kitchen table.” Mom: “Oh I think I saw some in the back
corner to the right! There’s some really beautiful ones here.” She turned back to
me again, “and I was thinking-“ COM: “EXCUSE ME. I AM TRYING TO TALK TO
YOU. It’s incredibly rude for you to ignore me, A PAYING CUSTOMER, to talk to this child!”
(I’m 23 lol) Mom: Understanding what’s going on, “Oh
I’m very sorry I don’t work here-“ COM: “I DON’T CARE. SHOW ME WHERE THE
KITCHEN TABLES ARE!” At this point I was done with letting my mom
get yelled at so I stood up and took her arm and we left with him still yelling at her.
She’s too nice to talk back to anyone and she would’ve gotten mad at me for fighting
back so we skedaddled right out of there. Thankfully our item was all packaged shortly
after so we put it in the truck and were on our way! I don’t work here, but I’ll help you
S I was in a major US retailer (blue vest and
jeans/khakis is the uniform) in the water aisle… getting a case of water, and I ran
across a lady who was vertically challenged (short)…. She was attempting to reach a
gallon of water that was CLEARLY out of her reach. Me: Would you like some help? Her: (exasperated) YES, please! Me: (grabs the bottle for her)… let me show
you a quick way to get it next time, in case there are no taller people around…. (sticks
my finger through the wire shelf upwards, to snag the jug to bring it forward, then
pulls the jug forward). Her: WOW… why couldn’t I think of that?
And why aren’t the actual employees here more helpful like you? Me: I don’t know… but I hope you have a
great day! How many more times will I need to quit?
L A few years ago, I started a job with a temp
agency. Unfortunately, I had 5 days of work over the space of 5 months at minimum wage.
I doesn’t take a genius to know this wasn’t enough to get by. I found myself another job
with guarenteed minimum hours a week. As soon as I got this new job, I quit the temp agency. About a month later, the temp agency call
me out the blue and ask if I can do another shift. I tell them I already quit and they
said they had no record of this so I quit again. A few months later, I had another phone call
and went through the same thing again. This time I asked them to remove my contact details
from their files. Over the space of 18 months, I had to quit
about 6 times (asking for my contact info to be removed 5 times) and a friend decided
to try and put a stop to the nuisance calls/messages by emailing them the same thing. I also blocked
their number About 3 months ago, I received a call from
a withheld number. I answer and, as you guessed, it was the temp agency. The conversation goes
as follows: Me: “Hello?” Temp agent: “Hello, is this OP” Me: “It is, to who am I speaking?” TA: “Hi, this is [Temp Agent] from Temp Agency” Me: “Oh, hi TA, I believe I spoke to you last
time?” TA: “Yes, it’s always me you speak to, we
have a few shifts available, do you want to take any?” Me: “As I told you last time, NO, I qu….” TA (interrupting me): “Oh, may I ask why not? Me: “As I was about to say, I already quit.” TA: “Really? When? Why?” Me: “As I tell you every time you phone me,
I quit OVER 2 YEARS AGO because I have another job. Can I speak to your superior?” TA: “Sure, can I ask why?” Me: “Because I want to tell them the same
as what I have to tell you every time. Take. Me. Off. Your. Calling. List” TA gets her boss and I explain the situation
and tell him if I get one more call from them, I’ll take legal action as they have emails
telling them I quit and to no longer contact me dating back two years. The boss asked if
I knew anyone else who is interested in a job with them as a replacement. The first
person who came to mind is well knowledged when it comes to legal stuff surrounding things
like this. I said “Oh, I know someone, oh wait, he quit too, you want his number to
harass him? I know he won’t tolerate it.”