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Psychotherapist shares tips to successful time management

September 12, 2019

work families social life these are all things that can easily make a stay pretty busy yes and with a busy schedule time can often get away from us pretty quick so it’s always important to plan ahead and organize organize the best ways to manage time it you just can’t get any more of it well here now to give us insight dr. Linda DeRay PhD a psychotherapist and you talk about lots of things from time management to toxic workplaces and and you’ve been around talking about this how can we get our time in order well it’s what’s the first key the first case if people have to feel in control of their lives most people like oh I’m so overwhelmed just a victim pity party Oh totally bring out the violin yes okay so if they don’t feel in control of their lives that’s what’s going to continue victim losing time disorganization everything so the first thing is to focus on being organized okay and feeling that you’re in control of your life that you’re in the driver’s seat of your car bukka in your life exactly okay then I want to talk about the three C’s okay this was research that was done by dr. Suzanne kielbasa from the University of Chicago I think she’s at CCNY now the healthy copers have three C’s of course looking at the reading the screen right now control commitment challenge they feel in control of their lives they are committed to everything they do 200% their spouse their family their relationship their job their career whatever and they don’t look at it as problems they look at it as a challenge what can I learn from this what is this here to teach me how can I overcome this let’s think out of the box and have a creative solution do you think and we use this word twice in the intro to you Bizzy do you think people know where the term Bizzy is a badge of honor like oh I’m busier than you and I’m so we hear that word so much I mean it’s almost like it’s become like I said a badge of honor and today’s society why do you think that is well I think that it gives people a sense of accomplishment and they want to know that they’re doing stuff it’s also a power trip and an ego trip as you busy right now pencil you in at some point it’s sort of a one-upsmanship mhm okay and it’s like you know the the issues about I have designer clothes on or I have a diamond ring it’s the same kind of status only with work and and when it comes to to me prioritizing sometimes making a list helps is that’s something that you kind of think that Mellie I have been a list maker since I was a little kid and what you have to do is just prioritize and the issue that I say to people is do the hardest thing first when I have the time and when you have the energy because by the time you finish everything else Elon Musk says that do the hardest thing for I agree I absolutely agree so that way if there’s an emergency you’ve got a deadline you’ve got to get papers to somebody or email whatever do it first what about you know things to eliminate or things to you know maybe not be so hard on yourself about oh absolutely because people just own I didn’t do enough today oh I miss this I miss it we only have 24 hours in a day that’s all we’ve got so you’ve got to a lot the time and you have to set boundaries and limits and not feel guilty because everybody feels guilty working mothers I don’t know how they do it I don’t even have a goldfish and I feel guilty when I don’t accomplish stuff so I can’t imagine what working mothers feel like what are some simple things that we can do I know I was reading a book over the weekend and it said set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier I tried that today I felt a little less frazzled arriving normally I come in with my pants or dress on fire things like that we can do it’s a whole thing but I agree with you also I’ve taught clients to do self hypnosis like I’m going to get more done today I’m going to get you know six hours of sleep and it’s going to feel like nine hours of sleep you can do self hypnosis of visualization and absolutely very important I did that in labor and you see healthy coping talk to us about healthy coping okay healthy copers are just the three C’s okay they feel in control of their lives they are this is my domain I am in control I’m going to do this not going to do that I’m gonna set boundaries here so it’s a sense of control number two commitment I love what I’m doing people say to me how do you do this they call me the Energizer Bunny it’s because I take vitamins I exercise every day with the endorphins and I love what I do people say how do you listen to these horror stories and you’re in your office my god it’s like nightmare stories I love helping people but how do you how do you get you know the the umph to do way if you don’t enjoy it so there’s things that you just don’t enjoy but you know you need to get them done exactly so here’s what I recommend either hire it out if you can if you hate housecleaning like me yes no have a cleaning woman who comes in right your time is valuable and I’m telling you if I got married this woman would be one of my maids of honor I love number two when you have that kind of love for what you do it’s not work but farm it out or say I’m gonna finish this task in five minutes and get timers people need timers with my dam say I’m gonna finish this in ten minutes and then I’m gonna be done yeah nice yeah all right thank you on a Monday yeah thank you well thank you and there’s some more information you’ll be at the winter park library workshops there on Thursday April 11th Saturday April 13th and it’s free that’s right and Thursday is 6:00 to 8:00 at night and Saturday is 2:00 to 4:00 in the afternoon so we can satisfy everybody who can come on one or both of the days manager to get dry management seminar they love it

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