Have you ever had this happen? Where one night: Oh my god, everyone is hanging out without me.
Why wasn’t I invited?! And then the next: Oh my god, why did I agree to hang out with everybody? Ugh. Why did they invite me? The struggle is real and completely contradictory. But lately I have been painfully self-aware that I am being excluded from things. Like, the other day I opened my FOMO app and noticed that some friends went bowling and didn’t invite me, [gasp] and I immediately went into a spiral of inferiority and shame and felt like I was 8 years old again. [laughter] But the thing is, I don’t even like bowling. If they had invited me, I probably wouldn’t even have wanted to go! But did that stop me from crying and convincing myself that I’m a worthless heap of trash? No. And then last week, I was talking to a friend,
when she asked, – Hey, are you going to Melissa’s party? – Oh I didn’t know she was having a party. – Yeah, you didn’t get the invite?
– No. – Check your spam, I’m sure it went into your spam. – Nothing. – Facebook? – Nada. – Insta DM?
– Zilch. – Text?
– Nope. – Smoke signal?
– Nothing. – Huh. Well, I’m sure you could come. She probably just forgot to invite you. It happens. – Yeah. There are a few things you can do when you feel left out. I mean, if you feel like a friend is intentionally excluding you, yes, that probably warrants a conversation to find out what’s wrong. – Why didn’t you put out the smoke signal for me? – Because it’s an archaic way to communicate. I can’t build an entire fire every time you wanna hang out. I mean, invest in string and a can. But sometimes, friends just hang out without you. And in my case, I have to accept that when I feel left out, this has way more to do with my own insecurity than my friends actually trying to hurt my feelings. And I have been asking myself, “Why, when I see my friends hanging out without me, is my first thought: They hate me. They’ve hated me this entire time. So a few days ago, when friends made plans to go to a movie in front of me, without an extended invite, I took a deep breath, and I thought to myself, I’m happy for them. You know what? They’re gonna have a good time. And if I’m really being honest with myself, I don’t even wanna go to a movie! I want to go home and spend some time with a book. Wait, did I say that out loud? I’m Anna Akana, and you’re coming to Becca’s party, right? I wanna say thank you to Sun Basket for sponsoring today’s episode. Sun Basket is a meal delivery service committed to healthy food, with easy to follow instructions that can be prepped in 30 minutes. Your meals are delivered to your door weekly on a day of your choosing which is perfect because I hate leaving my house! Sun Basket only includes organic non-GMO ingredients for their recipes, and they cater to numerous specialty diets including paleo, gluten-free, diabetes friendly, vegetarian, vegan, and pescatarian. As someone who is a very novice cook who loves time hacks and has a Los Angeles level intense diet, it’s perfect for me. Not to mention, I only get the amount of ingredients I need, so I’m not wasting produce when my schedule gets too busy. You can go to getsunbasket.com/anna to sign up today, and get 60% off automatically applied to your purchase, meaning you’ll pay as low as $28 for your first box. That’s getsunbasket.com/anna.