Articles, Blog

Melo’s Time in Houston Turns Into a Nightmare | Game Of Zones S6E4

November 21, 2019

So the key here again is spacing. I need you in the corner, and if your man so much as looks my way, then I’m going to get it to you. Then I go up for three. Yes. But ’tis merely a pump fake! No I pull the ball down! I step over the line. No I back down the big for a contested fadeaway two from the elbow. No. That’s exactly what you shouldn’t do Chris, you know I can hit that shot over anybody All day It’s not about hitting shots It’s about hitting EFFICIENT shots Ugh, not you too with this efficiency fad Whatever happened to the days when knights would go one-on-one, mano-y-mano in the paint, in a slow, grinding duel? Melo… if you want a role here on House Rockets you must understand the system. Study the analytics I study plenty! Carmelo, please I remember when you used to be fun! Whatever happened to Banana Boat Chris? He learned how to win And he wants to teach his friend, so they can win together. I want to win…it’s just… it’s all so boring these days Analytics, efficiency, defense… Hm, you know what? Come with me. I want to show you something Whoa Ah, Carmelo! Welcome to the Johnson Spacing Center Here, our Maesters test the frontiers of knowledge to give House Rockets a competitive edge What’s that? Why, that’s our namesake. The rocket. We value long-range weaponry here House Rockets has never shied away from experimentation Some produce incredible results And others…. not so much. What is this for? Ah, that was Yao Ming’s chamber pot Melo, have a look at this What is that? Those are moons orbiting another world Makes you think… you might not be the center of the universe after all Huh, so you’re saying I’m just another planet? No. He’s saying you are a moon James Harden is the planet Well, actually, Chris, I am a star. And stars should be STARters Melo …just needs a headband And I’m gonna put a hoodie here Melo, you’re not getting it— You know, I bet the only reason I’m not starting is because D’Antoni’s still bitter about New York. No, no, no… he’s just working off the Model The Model? It’s not possible I can’t just shoot 30 threes a game Look right here, James. If the Model is correct, you could TRIPLE your offense and pull us out of this slump But what if I miss them? I could go 0-for-27 myself! Ah, but James… what if you make them? Aagh! What the— Carmelo? What are you doing here? Carmelo is interested in the Model Really? Analytics? Melo? OK… This is the Model We feed her data, and she gives us answers untainted by human bias. Huh, why does she have six arms? …And four boobs? Well, she was designed by a bunch of nerds who, let’s just say…haven’t had too much experience with the anatomy of a female Carmelo, you have to understand this machine it…doesn’t care about your feelings The Model only knows pure analytics If this thing truly knows basketball, then I should have nothing to fear. Show me how it works These are your career stats. Let’s feed them in. Hope she likes empty calories OK. Model… should Ser Carmelo be in the Hall of Fame? Ah, look at that. First ballot Brilliant. Now, I want to know what my role here should be May I? Oh, uh, sure! Take it away Model… what should be my role on House Rockets? He should’ve dunked that. He had the lane. This Model is nothing but a hater! How does this bloody thing even work? Don’t, Carmelo That’s where the computers are Computers? What’s a computer? Melo, don’t—oh The computers do all the calculations needed to run the Model. Oh, do they? Well, do any of you even watch basketball?! You don’t have a good VORP W-why—what’s with their eyes?! These poor souls witnessed the dark ages of basketball in the early aughts. The endless post plays. The long twos. Ser Jordan on the Wizards After a second Finals appearance by House Nets, they couldn’t bear it any longer. They gouged out their eyes But on a positive note, it turns out they’re perfect for doing double-blinded analytics Many became computers The rest became referees I don’t like your true shooting… All right. Well, we really should get going, though. You’re beginning to taint their judgment Oh, you feel taller in person Get off me! Ser Carmelo, can you sign my abacus? -No! I need to get out of here
-Nice boots! I like your boots This is madness! Well if you’d settle your emotional response, you’d see it’s all quite logical, really. No…no…this is all wrong Your cold, heartless numbers know nothing of my value Anyone with eyes can see the beauty of my game A 10-time All-Star behind PJ Tucker, really? Marquese Chriss, actually— Well I refuse to accept it, and I’ll never accept it! Why did you even bring me here?! Because you’re worth the risk… at the veteran minimum Carmelo, Lord Morey has given you a chance, and it may be the only one you have left Well, that’s ridiculous. I just need the ball. I can still take any knight one-on-one! Just give me the rock and I’ll— Oh, what. C’mon, he f–ked me in New York Hm…interesting Oh, Seven Hells…Austin Rivers? Kyle, wake up! Kyle! Kyle! Norman? What are you doing? Game of Zones. There’s a new Game of Zones out. A new Game of Zones? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Well you just…you got to subscribe, and they notify you… Kawhi is already watching it! They did Melo dirty

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  • Reply Kitty Que May 24, 2019 at 4:00 pm



  • Reply SM May 24, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    Will y'all be making the Game of Zones Series Finale Bad as well? To keep the parody in line.

  • Reply Jeremy Birk May 25, 2019 at 1:44 am

    I never cared for those early 2000s Nets team, but y'all kinda did them dirty. Kinda

  • Reply Zach Falbe May 25, 2019 at 6:09 am

    I must say, their artwork has gotten astounding. I really felt like I was watching CP3 and Melo.

  • Reply Alex F May 25, 2019 at 3:22 pm


  • Reply david Core May 25, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    I don't like your true shooting…….ha, zing.

  • Reply Kaif Rizwan May 26, 2019 at 4:21 am

    Why is astroworld a freaking cameo

  • Reply pancakesjamon May 27, 2019 at 11:24 am

    Melo makes shot in trash basket.

    James Harden: “He should of dunked that he had the lane.”

    🤦🏾‍♂️ so disrespectful.

  • Reply C Taylor May 27, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    So let me get this strait. Analytics is nerds revenge for not being talented enough to play so they had to wait for a guy like Steph to open up the gate way for less physically talented players that have to rely on running around and shooting?

  • Reply C Taylor May 27, 2019 at 7:45 pm

    4:01 lol.

  • Reply cute dog May 28, 2019 at 5:00 am

    0:33 Cp3 talking about efficient shots hahahahahahah

  • Reply Heenal May 28, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    lol who saw astroworld
    'spacing center'=space=astro=SICKO MODE

  • Reply G Jordan May 28, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    They bogus for harden teeth 🤣🤣🤣 most accurate depiction

  • Reply jimmyjones05 May 29, 2019 at 4:57 am

    The part showing the computers was legit scary 😂

  • Reply One Lyfe Music May 29, 2019 at 8:48 am

    D'@ntoni and Mark Cuban are prolly my favorite characters on the show

  • Reply The Gaming Hexagon TGH May 30, 2019 at 5:03 am


  • Reply chiby360s May 31, 2019 at 12:27 am

    But what if you make them

  • Reply DeAnte Fields May 31, 2019 at 12:43 am

    I came back for the pump fake. 😂😂😂

  • Reply TJ Matthews June 1, 2019 at 7:45 am

    Lol wow too funny , this Is about as accurate as you can get in Carmelo Anthony last days in Houston , I bet they wish They had him back on the team after losing to house Warriors once again

  • Reply Thick Clips June 2, 2019 at 5:13 am

    I die everytime I watch these.

  • Reply don brassco June 2, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    Could have ask for a trade to L.A😄

  • Reply Benjamin Viljoen June 2, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    Best episode yet.

  • Reply Ben Featherstone June 5, 2019 at 9:55 pm

    Qualityy !

  • Reply ljs 10 June 6, 2019 at 10:10 pm


  • Reply RUGBY LEGEND June 6, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    French traduction please 😁

  • Reply Antoine Savelli June 7, 2019 at 12:58 am

    Why is James Harden French?

  • Reply RedBirdZArmy June 7, 2019 at 3:43 am

    notice the travis scott from sicko mode when they went into the spacing room

  • Reply Christopher June 7, 2019 at 6:26 am

    I love the arguement that even the same analytic crowd that drove Melo out of the league says to admit that going by the numbers they love so much, Melo has had a 1st ballot HOF career. These GoZ episodes are lowkey savage to all of the popular/unpopular opinions on NBA Twitter.

  • Reply Henry Ezeagu June 7, 2019 at 11:49 am

    "Carmelo should backup Marquese Chriss"

  • Reply Miguel Hidalgo June 7, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    Anyone notice the Astroworld head in the background?

  • Reply Eggy 345 June 8, 2019 at 6:55 am

    1.19 It’s the head from sicko mode

  • Reply islandgurlpurple June 8, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    Harden’s teeth LOOL, you guys are fucked up😂

  • Reply Sayan Andrews June 8, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Either way Carmelo is still a legend even if he’s an idiot

  • Reply Nathaniel Emmons June 9, 2019 at 4:31 am


  • Reply Joshua Bishop June 9, 2019 at 4:33 am

    "Seven hells. Austin Rivers?" Clippers tension lmao

  • Reply Wes G June 9, 2019 at 5:22 am

    What is the meaning of the statue with the #12 on the jersey when CP mentioned failed experiments?

  • Reply Robinson Ayuk June 9, 2019 at 8:50 am

    Best show on YouTube. How the hell am I even late?

  • Reply OnlyOnline2O1O June 9, 2019 at 11:17 am

    "Double-blinded" ayeee

  • Reply Salvatore Anzalone June 9, 2019 at 4:19 pm

    I love the little Easter eggs they put in each episode. How many of ya'll booked the Travis Scott Astroworld Easter egg?

  • Reply War Robots Gamer4 June 10, 2019 at 3:26 am

    0:56 haha haha!

  • Reply tii adica June 10, 2019 at 6:17 am

    How is no one talking about when Melo threw the paper in the trash and Harden said “He should’ve dunked that… he had a lane” 😂😂

  • Reply Spencer Graham-Thille June 11, 2019 at 12:21 am

    "You should have dunked that. You had the lane." James Harden lmao.

  • Reply catsoulakis June 11, 2019 at 5:33 am

    bruh when melo came on screen blurry in front of james i died

  • Reply Korben Boombastik June 11, 2019 at 5:03 pm

    "Really? Analitics Melo? Hmhm ok" lol

  • Reply wong joman June 13, 2019 at 9:48 am

    Did mello watch this?

  • Reply bdon espinoza June 15, 2019 at 8:28 am

    "But its merely a pump fake…" – that got me dead 💀

  • Reply Ruoyu Li June 15, 2019 at 11:52 pm

    melo "i aint scarificing no bench role" Jeremy lin "we the north'

  • Reply Lyden Botelho June 17, 2019 at 12:52 am

    He should’ve dunked it he had an open lane!

  • Reply vostro vostro June 18, 2019 at 5:42 am

    Melo is B Grade bitch ass punk , who needs to be in the D league. He is selfish ,has bad defense , and destroys team chemistry if someone gets the spotlight or plays good . This punk needs to be out of the NBA .

  • Reply Suit My Mood June 18, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    This one was the best in the series xD

  • Reply Westbrook Russell June 19, 2019 at 4:05 am


  • Reply Norman Tautuaa June 23, 2019 at 9:19 am

    But honestly tho WHAT IF!!!! YOU MAKE THEM 😂

  • Reply MultiDimwit June 27, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    and now, melo is cheating on lala….what a man. 🤣

  • Reply Lawrence Lorenzo June 28, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Kawhi's laugh in the end tho.

  • Reply Michael Orori July 2, 2019 at 9:57 am

    3:44 look at what it says in the smaller text😂

  • Reply Lhourde Anthony July 4, 2019 at 1:26 am

    He better play alongside Derrick Rose in Detroit

  • Reply Poloc Santos July 4, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    Mike: But James When If You Make Them
    James: 😮😀

  • Reply Sohayle Macauna July 4, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    An entire episode about the rockets but no reference to the greatest rocket player ever 🙁

  • Reply IDon't Care July 5, 2019 at 8:22 pm

    "I don't like your true shooting", oof the hardest roast I've seen in a while.

  • Reply Garrett Bradley July 6, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    Dear Bleacher Report,

    Please make a special episode about this free agency period. It was truly the most wildly historic NBA event in recent memory. The people shouldn't wait until April to enjoy your comical interpretation of it. Please give us this gift!


    Faithful GOZ fan.

  • Reply Spurs456 July 7, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    Love that they included a reference to Charles' diss about analytics guys not getting girls in high school

  • Reply IG: confused_melo To see proof melo is trash #Ginga July 8, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    This is gold.

  • Reply Marcus LeDay July 14, 2019 at 2:00 am

    Fun fact the Rockets traded Chris Paul before Austin Rivers

  • Reply Saad S July 14, 2019 at 6:03 am

    This show has really good world building and music. Super impressive fantasy show in addition to a sports parody.

  • Reply ROTY Mike Jones July 16, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Who's here after Westbrook got traded to the Rockets? Imagine GoZ doing a segment with Westbrook in the Johnson Spacing Center. It's gonna be hilarious!!!!

  • Reply Dexter Jones July 17, 2019 at 12:56 am

    2:50 "Really? Analytics Melo? Ok…"

  • Reply studydoc August 3, 2019 at 3:33 am

    Here after the Stephen A Carmelo interview

  • Reply Fisherdanpro23 August 3, 2019 at 2:25 pm

    Who's here after the Carmelo interview from Stephen A Smith?

  • Reply jbugg August 5, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    5:48 Melo is a star after all.

  • Reply Jiggly Puff August 7, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    I am a star ⭐️

  • Reply Jimmy James August 10, 2019 at 3:52 am

    Melo said this never happened they never had these conversations

  • Reply Goonersurex Rex August 13, 2019 at 11:39 am

    What happened to banana boat Chris?

  • Reply Mirka Ava videos August 18, 2019 at 11:39 am

    Wow!! They made it same like in real life!! Same would real Melo said.

  • Reply ninjasupersport August 18, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    Melo didn’t wanna listen

  • Reply Rex Imingan August 22, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Kawhi a monster Indeed. Nice Voice Editing, more monsteryyyy

  • Reply jose mairena September 4, 2019 at 7:14 am

    Awesome job with the video 👍

  • Reply A Tribe Called Quest September 5, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    now cp3 is being catapulted

  • Reply Greg Ryans September 8, 2019 at 1:55 am


  • Reply Stiltmans Stilt September 30, 2019 at 2:30 am

    "That was Yao Mings chamber pot" as Melos heads deep inside asking what it was..lmao

  • Reply Stiltmans Stilt September 30, 2019 at 2:32 am

    The way hardens looking at Paul when melo asks what his role with house rockets should be 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂

  • Reply Sean Zaldy Ortega October 2, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    Long 2's😂😂

  • Reply Muye Zhang October 17, 2019 at 4:39 am

    so who is no 12 referring to?

  • Reply Caleb Jabez October 19, 2019 at 2:22 am

    This is a master piece!

  • Reply Karabo Langa October 20, 2019 at 6:32 am

    Did nobody see the Travis Scott Astroworld head😂🔥

  • Reply the grand clan d.w. October 26, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    When are the new videos coming?

  • Reply Harry Cole November 7, 2019 at 12:45 am

    Melo hella sus in this 😂

  • Reply Blk the don X exodus November 13, 2019 at 11:46 pm

    Update 20/20 Melo isn't in the league anymore 🤦‍♀️

  • Reply Ariel Theordore November 15, 2019 at 2:46 am

    next year same video but on the blazers instead of rockets

  • Reply Zach Bautista November 15, 2019 at 4:16 am

    Finally back in the league

  • Reply Daniel Spinosa November 15, 2019 at 9:29 am

    I don’t think he’s a hall of famer

  • Reply Miami Sports fan November 16, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Now he’s in Portland

  • Reply BlackDeathViral03 November 17, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    Efficient shots and the Rockets don't go together. Also I don't see a ring on your fingers Chris, I think that defines winners.

  • Reply A Tribe Called Quest November 18, 2019 at 4:58 pm

    Cp3 got catapulted next

  • Reply Af Shonubi06 November 19, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Who is here after Melo has been signed by the Blazers?

  • Reply lilruse November 19, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    No Nicknames (eg: Marc Gasol≠Man Boobs!)

  • Reply Glanced November 19, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    They experimented on Yao Ming they basically bred him

  • Reply Glanced November 19, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    Number 12 Dwight?😂💀

  • Reply Glanced November 19, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    This man said I hope you like empty calories

  • Reply Glanced November 19, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    "he should of dunked it" 😂💀2💀😂💀

  • Reply Glanced November 19, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Sir Jordan on the Wizards 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😅💀

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