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Jordan Peterson – Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

October 16, 2019


Hello, Dr. Peterson. Hey, there we go Tonight, I’d like to ask you about two different psychological disorders the first being Borderline Personality Disorder So, two lectures ago somebody asked you about it, and you gave a very sparse answer I can’t remember exactly what you said, but it seemed like it was it was too much complexity to just answer it right there and then and then somebody else also asked you about the same disorder in your patreon livestream recently And when they asked you that, you kind of you kind of stopped for a moment and something, I don’t know, something kind of flicked on in your head it seemed like, and you and you thought for a couple of seconds, and then you said you know what, I don’t think that I can answer that right now because it’s just too it’s just too bloody complex, and I was wondering just like many young men have gravitated towards your lectures do you think that there’s something about this particular disorder that there’s something about people with this particular disorder that might gravitate to your insights and your lectures? Okay, okay, so no I would say probably no to the second one but I could comment more about Borderline Personality Disorder I think I have enough mental energy to do that tonight so, technically speaking it’s often considered the female variant of Antisocial Personality Disorder So it’s classified or it’s classified in the domain of externalizing disorders; acting out disorders And I think what happens We don’t understand Borderline personality disorder very well, and it’s characterized by tremendous impulsivity radical confusion of identity and then this pattern of idealization of people with whom the person afflicted with the disorder is associating with. Radical idealization of those people and then radical devaluation of them And then there’s another theme that sort of weaves along with it, which is the proclivity of people with Borderline personality disorder to presume that they will be abandoned and then to act in a manner that makes such abandonment virtually certain And so, it’s a very complicated disorder, but that I think gets at the crux of it One of the things that’s interesting about people with Borderline Personality Disorder in my experience, is that they’re often quite intelligent and you see in the person with Borderline Personality Disorder something like the waste or the squandering of tremendous potential They seem capable of thinking through the nature of their problems and analyzing them and discussing it, but not capable whatsoever of implementing any solutions and Technically, there’s no relationship between IQ and conscientiousness It’s very weird because if you read the neuropsychological literature and you read about the functions of the pre-frontal cortex, they’re usually conceptualized in intellectual terms and they’re associated with planning and strategizing and so forth and that’s what conscientiousness is, is planning and strategizing and implementation but the correlation between IQ and conscientiousness is zero and so is the correlation between working memory and conscientiousness, zero and zero is a very low correlation, right? I mean, really it’s hard to find things in psychology that are correlated at zero Things tend to be correlated to some degree. They tend to be interrelated The Borderline seems to be able to strategize and to abstract, but not to be able to implement And so, the intellect per se seems to be functional, but it’s not embodied in action It’s very, so it can be frustrating to be associated with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder because they can tell you what the problem is and even tell you what the solution might be, but there’s no implementation So, maybe something went wrong developmentally we don’t know exactly how these sorts of things come about The other thing that seems to be characteristic of Borderline people with Borderline Personality Disorder is that they they remind me very much of people who are 2 years old and in some manner like people with Borderline Personality Disorder can have temper tantrums, in fact they often do and you know, now and then you see a temper tantrum and they’re usually thrown by 2-year-olds, right? Most people grow out of temper tantrums by the time they’re about 3 They’re very rare at 4, which is a good thing, because if they’re still there at 4 that is not a good diagnostic predictor That’s a.. it’s actually a good diagnostic predictor, but it’s not the kind that you want and, you know, it’s funny the way that we respond to 2-year-old temper tantrums because the 2-year-old will throw themselves on the ground and beat their hands and their legs on the floor and scream and yell and turn red or even blue I saw a child once who was capable of holding his breath during a temper tantrum ’till he turned blue which was really an impressive feat. You should try that right? It’s really hard you really have to work at it and you see that in adult Borderlines, they’ll have temper tantrums, and the funny thing is when a 2-year-old does it it’s like, it’s you know, it’s a little off-putting, but when an adult does it it’s completely bloody terrifying and it happens very frequently with Borderlines and so, I would also say to some degree they didn’t get properly socialized between that critical period of development between 2 and 4 And you see the same thing with adult males who grow up to be anti-social because a large proportion of adult males who grow up to be antisocial are aggressive as children, as 2-year-olds So there’s a small proportion of 2-year-olds who are quite aggressive, they’ll kick and hit and bite and steal if you put them with other 2-year-olds It’s about 5% of the of the males, smaller fraction of the females but most of them are socialized by the time they’re 4, but there’s a small percentage who aren’t and they tend to stay antisocial and they tend to turn into long term offenders and the critical period for socialization development seems to be between 2 and 4 and it seems to be mediated by pretend play and Rough-and-Tumble play and those sorts of mechanisms and if it isn’t instantiated by the age of 4 it doesn’t happen, and it doesn’t look like it’s addressable Now, there are dialectic behavioral therapies that have been developed for people with Borderline Personality Disorder and they’re purported to be successful

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100 Comments

  • Reply Simple Man August 21, 2019 at 11:15 am

    That's me to tee and he nailed it perfectly on this one

  • Reply Anthony Sforza August 21, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Holy shit… This describes my ex wife to a T. Although, to be fair, instead of hitting the floor when she'd throw a tantrum, she'd hit me instead.

  • Reply Shaun Vanslyke August 22, 2019 at 7:28 am

    They don't implemrnt a solution? Weird trying to cure a "lifelong" disorder its like he's saying they don't want help. Unless I'm wrong is there an actual cure or just therapies?

  • Reply PRIME SOUL FREEDOM August 24, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    Finally he is talking about psychology, and something useful in my life, having dated a BPD. I was crushed when she left me because i was 40 minutes late from walmart(or she had planned to do that and that was just an excuse) but she was so afraid of people abandoning or rejecting her that she made it happen anyway, then ignored all my attempts to reconnect, like I never existed…it was so fucking painful, and still is. yet I have sympathy and feel sad that someone I love/d has this affliction, and even she knows she will be single for the rest of her life, and that was just as heartbreaking to me to hear her tell me that…

  • Reply Tom Smith August 24, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    It's not a disorder it's a social inconvenience like the ever growing amount other so called mental health disorders and issues.

    The real problem is that there are rules to a game thats been adopted called culture now those rules are of no real personal benefit they are mainly there to prevent social dissonance because if those who actually consider themselves as Normal actually understood that what they are is a false self conditioned to be the person to believe themselves to be there would be absolute outrage and thats not a very profitable thing to happen and not very pleasing to the authorities.

    Bpd is part way between being awake to this and a struggle to become the conditioned state of the general population.

    Who by the way don't even know what they are doing they just are on rails when they come of the rails that is branded a disorder a mental health problem.

    But really what they are is rule breaker and the diagnosis is a punishment for not being the same as everyone else is pretending either knowingly or unknowingly to be.

    It's rigged this way to create a culture of compliance and dependency because if you dare be yourself.

    Your outed yes?

    In India these problems are considered as spiritual awakenings and treated successfully with empathy and guidance not treated like a disorder or dysfunction and making them believe they are faulty thus preventing them from healing and them believing they are damaged and faulty and progressing because society is conditioned to maintain the status quo..
    Human bodies have a remarkable ability to self heal.

    Yet all the mental disorders that are apparently truth have no cures at all.

    Lest you forget the most spoken words of people that are sectioned in mental institutions.

    It's not me that's mad it's them they are all mad. Thousands and millions of accounts

    And what is it you suppose they are seeing to make them say this and to make them feel so scared.

    Normal society is ill to the very core in whats known as the western world. But it's extremely profitable and easy to control.

  • Reply ManuelLoki August 26, 2019 at 3:45 am

    Maybe its hyper strategizing and conceptualization. If you keep building business plans, you will never implement them. To the detriment of the individual, almost like an addiction.

  • Reply alys Freeman August 26, 2019 at 6:28 am

    I’m a quiet BDP mixed with aspergers…life is lonely and often confusing. I internalise my temper and take it out on myself. Rarely do I act out but when it happens its like a tsunami and I’m scary.

  • Reply Daniel Jackson August 26, 2019 at 10:56 am

    You, Mr Peterson, have helped me to combat the narcissist in my life and honestly its made it fun to see the cycle for what it is. I don't derive enjoyment in this, not specifically, thwarting the attempts to play games with my life and be very matter of fact however is nice. Shutting it down, killing their arguments, watching the struggle to remain "in control" even when they can't control themselves, floundering and doing it effectively has liberated me from the illusion created in order to keep me under thumb. Thanks for the assist.

  • Reply The Dashing Rogue August 26, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    So no answer

  • Reply chimera August 29, 2019 at 7:13 am

    First it was Bipolar II, then it was ADD, now it’s borderline. These are placeholders for the “unsavory individuals that seem to be having an irrational response to reality.” BPD is the next “it” disorder for whatever reason. The prevalence of these manic and impulse-driven disorders associated with fragmented identities leads me to believe that there’s a growing number of people exceedingly dissatisfied with society. People that don’t see a way out, they feel alienated in an increasingly alienated society, that “childlike” quality is what’s revolting inside of them – jabbing blindly out at the world in impulsive bursts as if to surprise the enemy, to surprise themselves. They want out of this “thing” that they have no control of. They’re always aware of how powerless they are and that leads them to make decisions out of fear. Often self-destructive decisions. Society is supposed to reflect your identity back to you, but what the fuck is society now? Our reflection from society is distorted and fragmented through the new digital looking glass and an increasingly pathologized culture. Think about why so many of you are here and relate to this supposed rare disorder. Question of the purpose of pathologizing those specific traits and question the use of pathology within medicine and how its changed how we define our very selves. Most identities are faulty; Borderlines know this and treat them like the masquerade masks they are.

  • Reply Soraya Elle August 29, 2019 at 7:50 am

    This is not a very good explanation. There’s a lot of hope for people with borderline which he doesn’t put across, some people “grow out of” the worst symptoms in their 20s or later. Boys have it too obviously 🙄 and there’s a “triad” they use to describe it that is a much more helpful and concise way to understand the development and maintenance of BPD – marsha linehan is better on this

  • Reply WPXTacoMan477 August 29, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Peterson is just the next Allan watts .. sure he studied a lot of human behavioral studies, as did watts, and he just like everyone else is just a human but will somehow become a person of power because the blind faith that the general public will have in that Peterson knows what he’s doing and is so well articulated that there’s some promise of improvement in humanity through him but yet he is just as subject to human anomalies and is subject to temptation just as much as the next person.. biblically you could almost see him as a false teacher

  • Reply gtube2017 August 29, 2019 at 8:55 pm

    This is making me cry. I was diagnosed with BPD and the thing that gets me the most is when he says we can think through our problems well but have great difficulty implementing solutions. I am always able to help others with their problems but have trouble dealing with my own. That is heart breaking for me because I want to change, improve and be the best version of me. I think I allow my emotions to take over then I become impulsive, anxious, paranoid or totally irrational. Apart from being open and honest with my friends and those I love, I find cannabis helps me to calm down, think rationally and compose myself. I have found it mostly be a positive experience in helping me overcome difficult times, and severe feelings of depression. The thing I long for the most? Just to stop overthinking and enjoy the vibe. I want to stop being so sensitive but remain the kind man that I know I am. I believe I am a good person, and in one way I don't want to change who I am. But at the same time, I know that I can push those who love me away. That is also heart breaking. Now I found true love, I am ready to confront myself… because in this relationship I can see clearly who I am and who I want to be. It's not for the other, it is for myself. I want to be the best version of myself – not change who I am. Does anyone have any suggestions on self help or ideas about changing parts of your personality.

  • Reply calaflash August 29, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    As someone with BPD this video made me laugh hysterically, cry deeply, punch a hole in a wall, and cut myself. Overall I rate it a 10/10.

  • Reply Lydia Materno August 30, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    My ex husband is borderline and he destroyed our marriage he is very smart and YES he can strategize but NOT ever implementation! Such a immature emotional development. Yes like a 3 yr old. My nine year old is more mature than him

  • Reply Mo Shiggles August 31, 2019 at 3:28 am

    I have to jump in here to say that this person knows almost nothing about BPD. Where is the science? Where are the symptom markers? The etiology? To characterize it as a female version of antisocial disorder? Really?? First of all, it’s not a female disorder.

    The part about implementation actually sounds more like the struggles of someone with ADHD or any intellectual in therapy struggling with anxiety and depression, trying to think her/his way through a debilitating condition.

    Finally, the way he explained anger and “temper tantrums” is sooooo irresponsible. To leave out the part about overwhelming trauma paints a one-dimensional picture of people with BPD.

    While I don’t have BPD, I have a very bad experience with it because my mother has it. I see her struggles and destructive cycles.

    Most people with BPD are frustrated; already have a negative view of themselves; and an unstable sense of self. That can makes them vulnerable to bullshit like this being carelessly spewed about and that really pisses me off.

    You really wanna learn about BPD? Close this video and go to AJ Mahari’s page on YouTube. You’re welcome. 🙂

  • Reply TB August 31, 2019 at 4:03 am

    If you're in a relationship with such a person: RUN! NOW. And never look back!

  • Reply Kalika Pasupata August 31, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    I didn't watch the video as I'm not interested to hear it. PETERSON: we will devour the degenerate so called doctors of the psyche, those criminal quack genocide DSM mongerers. You death peddling slut. You're in trouble with God son. Degenerate slut.

  • Reply Daniel Wilson September 1, 2019 at 2:21 am

    This is so fucking true. I hate it so much.

  • Reply Neal M September 1, 2019 at 2:25 pm

    I dated a BPD and after that initial intoxicating phase where she adored me, it felt like I was constantly cast adrift at sea, and wold need to swim to shore to reach her and that blissful state again, and if I could just manage to do that all would be right again. So of course, that is what I would do, and I would reach the shore and all WOULD indeed be right again. Briefly. Then I would be suddenly adrift at sea again, with no indication of why and I would repeat the process of swimming to shore.

    It just got so tiring after a while, and there was no end in sight.
    In so many ways she was an AMAZING woman, but she has left a trail of broken and destroyed men in here wake, and I feel grateful I made it out, though I do miss the good moments with her at times.

  • Reply Blond Thought September 2, 2019 at 12:17 am

    I think I just turned blue. As in, Smurf-blue.

  • Reply gaja pekosak September 2, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    I completely understand the seriousness of the topic he talks about, but did you all notice how excitingly impressed Jordan was with that kid that held his breath during a temper tantrum?

  • Reply Madolite September 2, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    So basically, BPD could potentially be a severe version of ADHD or otherwise related to ADHD as a kind of EFD (executive functioning disorder)?
    He's talking about how BPD people can have excellent planning ability but have zero implementation ability. I have ADHD myself and Jordan is literally describing my main problem in life – "getting shit done". But while my reasons for this handicap is my overactive mind and "time blindness" (inability to keep things in mind over time), BPD certainly would imply other causes for the handicap. But Jordan seems to be saying that the EFD itself is similar.

  • Reply Dr. Sam's Health September 3, 2019 at 3:05 am

    The correlation between iq and conscientiousness is not 0, it’s up to 0.27, which is low, but kinda typical for psychological studies. I don’t understand why whenever I google something Jordan Peterson comes up – he just goes on a pseudo intellectual tangent and never makes the point. That’s exactly why he didn’t answer the question the first time. And he didn’t answer it again here.
    PS. Since I started – BPD is not a female variant of antisocial PD, it’s total bs. 25% of people with BPD are men.
    PPS. If you want to listen to an expert check out Marsha Linehan or John Gunderson.

  • Reply shawarmageddonit September 3, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Still recovering from 3,5 years romantic relationship with a BPD girl, followed by 3,5 on/off. She was my longest relationship; the closest thing I've been to marriage; my best and closest friend; best sex I ever had. We must have looked like pure pie in the sky.

    But underneath the surface was so much sorrow, rage, depression, anxiety, confusion, and all-round negativity and destructive behavior. You never know what's gonna trigger the next hysterical fit; you never know when it's gonna come, or how long it's gonna last. You're walking in a minefield, trying to carry your love safely through.

    It's shameful to be in a relationship like that. It destroys your self-respect, it slowly kills your love with every negative outburst, and it completely exhausts your patience and forgiveness. But the self-respect I did have finally teamed up with the voice of reason and told me what I'd needed to hear all along:

    Get the hell outta there.

    You think you can help them, and you hope for it all to somehow pass. But you can't, and it won't. All you can do is decide for yourself how long you're gonna let their negativity get the best of your positive emotions and self-respect. The only way they're gonna learn is by having enough people leave, even though it initially only confirms their distorted ideas of constantly being abandoned. They'll probably try to turn it on you, and you have to realize that BPD is the proverbial exception to the rule: That even though we most often need to take a look at ourselves to realize the harsh truth, their negative thoughts, emotions, and behavior really has nothing to do with you.

    It's not you. It really IS them.

  • Reply Rachel September 3, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    The female version of antisocial? Really?

  • Reply Frank the Ant September 3, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Why can't he ever talk about disorders like AvPD? BPD is important, but it drowns out other disorders completely, especially cluster A and C disorders. BPD is the most talked about disorder out of all personality disorders.

  • Reply chris copeland September 3, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    I hate having this man i need fuckin help

  • Reply Eddie September 4, 2019 at 1:39 am

    I like to joke with myself about my borderline. I always tell myself it’s not a disorder, but a disco, because every other hour is a dance with a different emotion. It’s hard when you love someone and then the disco ball starts turning and you suddenly never want to see that person again…..then the next day you’re head over heels for them again.

    It’s a struggle, but whenever my moods swing around I always just tell myself “Not now.” Simple and cheesy, but it actually helps me.

  • Reply Samantha K September 4, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    I would recommend Dr. Daniel Fox's research take on BPD then this pseudo-science crap he is peddling.

  • Reply McKatterbutter September 4, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    So where does the "splitting" come into play? The black and white, all-or-nothing thinking? That plays a large part in BPD does it not?

  • Reply Nadine Hamburg September 5, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    I thinks it’s sad that The thing that BPD people needs most, they actually don’t get. They repel what they need most in life and it can feel like a living-dead existence of rejection.

  • Reply mstarburst September 7, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    Be interesting to see one on avoidant personality disorder, it never really gets spoken about and I actually think it's one of the most destructive of all disorders.

  • Reply Dana B September 7, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Psychologists are preditors. The field of psychology preys on a population that is vulnerable. Instead of people FULLY understanding the "complexity" of the ORIGIN of the wrongs done. (And sometimes this can be culturally and historically rooted even) The field of psychology stifles peoples history and labels them so that they serve the field. And the ongoing cycle. Its a money maker for the field of psychology! BUT its ALSO laced with historical means to which people are kept from fully succeeding in depth and at a REAL and individual equality. While discuised as "help". Psychology is a fucking welfare system.

  • Reply Paul Benedict September 7, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    This is the weirdest video I have seen in while.
    Instead of describing of what I thought was BPD, he seems to be describing me.

  • Reply Newt Eisenhower September 8, 2019 at 12:43 am

    Why do I like the smell of my farts, but not other people's farts?

  • Reply Cassidy Herko September 8, 2019 at 3:27 pm

    wow i hate this so much

  • Reply Jeremy Mettler September 9, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    This is funny his and his class have full on disorder of. Not in reality guess you know is killing America and the world

  • Reply Hoschi September 9, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Cbd oil helped me alot!!!

  • Reply Wonky Gustav September 10, 2019 at 11:49 am

    Borderline personality disorder is a reflection of a dysfunctional society

  • Reply JonFrumTheFirst September 10, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    I had a two year relationship with a wonderful women – extremely friendly, successful in medical school, loving. etc. But there came a time when she just seemed to blow up on me. I was really lost to figure out what was going on. In one case, we were having some difficulty, and she exploded "I knew you'd do this!" – as if I had been ready to dump her at the slightest provocation. I loved that girl, and it had never entered my mind. The thing is that she seemed to be highly competent in medical school at the same time. So the shoe doesn't fit completely, but the idealization/angry rejection thing seems a perfect match. Maybe she was at the low end of BPD – a mild case. Back in the 1990s I was clueless.

  • Reply Sean O'Reilly September 11, 2019 at 12:39 am

    Pretty insightful. My girlfriend finds him objectionable for some reason (BPD, perhaps?). Actually, brilliant presentation.

  • Reply IskurBlast September 11, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    (Posting this from a response I made for everyone in this thread trying to rationalize abuse.)

    There is no excuse for abuse.

    They have control. They have a choice. If they didn't they wouldn't be able to put on the mask and control themselves. An elliptic cant control themselves. They cant put on a mask and avoid having a seizure in public around strangers anymore than they can at home around loved ones. For an abusive cluster B taking off of the mask and abusing others is not involuntary. Its a choice. Its an indulgence of their dark side. I personally call it feeding The Demon.

    There is no excuse for abuse.

    A normal well functioning adult can tie themselves into knots trying to rationalize the abuse of the cluster B's. We can take great sympathy for them especially when we know the specific abuse that caused the wound in the first place.
    But …

    There is no excuse for abuse.

    Anytime you find yourself rationalizing, justifying, and for the love of god humanizing the abusive actions of any abusive cluster B please say to yourself

    There is no excuse for abuse.

  • Reply carlie partridge September 12, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Jp lookin great here!

  • Reply Hollie Schiebler September 13, 2019 at 1:20 am

    To any fellow BPD friends reading this, we CAN improve. I love you and you are kicking ass every day by just existing. Proud of you.

  • Reply David Mayhall September 13, 2019 at 3:42 am

    I am Trying to understand this description of Bpd In jury's to the head at a young age can affect people when they mature. It's not Thier fault or even if they was born that way. WHAT IS NORMAL? Websters says it is conforming to the Norm. So Actually Normal People Are Conformist They conform Thier personality to Society's Accepted Behaviors which is Always changing with the times. I Don't have Purple Hair or screws in my face or tounge or any extra Holes in my Head! Thank God. I Am Myself who is A individual with my own Personality and Belifs and values. My values are for life and freedom and individuality and I obey laws and I act civil in society. Just because a person has a Disability or a injury that doesn't determine Who They Are! It is up to the individual. And Thier choices and Actions. Some people think Differently because of injury or birth Defects or Abuse/ mistreatment by parents, or lack of proper parenting by parents that should not be parents! I think therefore I am! And I have choices to make Good or Bad, but I can understand trying to get out of a Box. It takes reasoning and planning, and understanding. Having any type of disability or Difficulty Dosent make a individual bad. But Thier choices and actions Do! There are many so called Normal People in this world that Do terrible things! What's Thier Excuse? Do they blame Thier actions on Thier past? Or Do they just Refuse to accept Responsibility for Thier own Actions?. Some people get sick in Thier body's and others Get sick in Thier minds. Sickness can affect different parts of the Human body. But Physical Abuse can affect the mind and the Body. People can Heal and overcome Thier afflictions, some might need Help by counsel. Others do it by Thier Faith in God. Usually Hurting people Have Hurt Emotions that need Healing, Jesus is a wonderful counselor, and a ever-present help in times of need! I think labeling people into general a diagnosis is incorrect. Unless there is a specific issue like Alcohol abuse, or Drug Abuse. Even that has a underlying issue that Drove them to that extreme, usually to sedate Thier problems instead of addressing Thier issues there are multitudes of people who have issues and they cannot find help or Don't want to be labeled. Or they just Deny Thier issues and turn to Drugs or alcohol. Usually everyone is Different and have encountered different problems in the past but perhaps with correct advice and love they can overcome them, this is why christ Jesus came to save the lost and to Heal the Broken Hearted💔 and to restore sight to the Blind. Some people can see with Thier eyes but they are Blind 👀 with Thier Hearts💜

  • Reply thewayout September 14, 2019 at 1:50 am

    It's a disease associated with the incapacity of the person to hold both goodness and wickedness together and integrate this duality within themselves. It’s spiritual and can be healed with faith and choosing the God of the living, instead of bouncing from one extreme to the other.

  • Reply Michelle Lorje September 14, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    is he saying that BPD patients tend to be intelligent as a mindfuck to improve BPD patients-who-may-be-watching-this' benefit or is he being sincere?

  • Reply Richard Blankenship September 15, 2019 at 4:04 am

    My best friend married a girl with BPD. Damn horror story.

  • Reply LostTrigger September 16, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    can anyone with bpd talk to me

  • Reply SirSloth September 16, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    The mother of my child has BPD, I've done so much for her and alls i get is abused I've tried helping by seeking professional help, encouraging her to get help, change of diet. …shes damaged so much of both of our lives and fails to see how she's done it… she expects everything done for her and has no motivation to do anything for herself…does anyone here with BPD know how i can make the enviroment better for my child? We are in the process of living separately… im reading alot of self help books on how to manage my frustration and anger towards her actions but she gets under my skin by neglecting him wanting to self medicate and party ect

  • Reply David Stutz September 16, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    A lucky guess.

  • Reply Simnikiwe Hlatshaneni September 16, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    I'm so good at pointing out these pathologies in other people but I have not been able see it in me till recently and I'm more aware of it when I'm on the impulsive side where I might even throw tantrum right after being really happy and then I go through depression and I feel so much shame and hate and then I start again

  • Reply Carissa Wright September 17, 2019 at 2:44 am

    This is SO stigmatising and the reference to females is completely untrue!

  • Reply anthony white September 17, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    He enjoys being relevant. Young men love the topics he discusses. Nobody else has the courage to put themselves out there like this. Rock stars do it all the time.

  • Reply Psyla September 18, 2019 at 7:49 am

    I had BPD. Something snapped in my head when someone used a therapeutic technique on me, a line of questioning to get to the core of an immoral belief I had. I had the idea that if people could conceptualize the pain I was in, things would change. I thought "People only care or do things when it gets to the point you get angry or cause a scene". and that was just an accepted belief of mine. I'd also get angry at things verrry quickly. Blowing up a situation like that kind of worked but eventually people get sick of it. And sick of constantly having you fear their motives or doubt their honesty, and they get numb to your pain and breakdowns. Which only makes it worse, because you can see and feel the relationship ending and not be able to do anything about it. You feel like nobody cares and that you're the worst piece of shit ever. But what made me change was the technique, leading to a realization that I was causing suffering to other people so they'd conceptualize my pain. Suffering begets suffering, and wellness begets wellness has never felt so real. I also had the realization that I was seeking sympathy for my trauma, to validify my trauma to everyone who I let close to me, so they would know I had pain in my life as if that would justify my flaws to that person. But the fact was, I was making people suffer, and then trying to justify it with the fact I've suffered. That is absolutely evil, I thought, and my mind changed… I also realized that sympathy doesn't get you ANYWHERE. People can know and conceptualize your pain, and things will stay the same. You won't be justified in hurting people, and your life won't feel any better either.

    This happened after my discovery of JP. It all happened in a flash of memory images of my past. It seems so simple, but it brought my neuroticism down from 95 to 30-40. I had been suffering with suicidal thoughts, an eating disorder, self harm, extreme heated frustration that I felt was too big for my body to handle for FOURTEEN YEARS. I was in such pain. Living was exhausting. I found out what happened to me was memory reconsolidation. I unraveled programming in my mind that elicited a fear response when whatever arbitrary thing triggered me into this downward spiral of emotional turmoil. It literally broke synopses in my brain, and I felt it. It felt like a snap and then a burst. Like 10,000 pinballs shooting all over a pinball machine, but they were tingly and cold. And a physical pressure felt lifted off of me. As soon as it was done I said.. "I think you fixed me" and I have been right so far, going on 4 years since my self-hate, suicidal times that occured daily.

  • Reply sound bite September 18, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    Analyzes BPD, says some good things predictably refers to women, though many men have BPD….. and hangs out with Camile peado paglia.
    Oh well.

  • Reply The Borderline Life September 18, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Interesting ! I just discovered Jordan 2 days ago, and now came across this.

    A VERY unique and much appreciated type of analysis 🤔🤔🤔

  • Reply Intellect, reason&Logic Use your brain September 19, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    When you watch another mental disorder video and think,shit! i got that one too. So far I got ptsd, adhd, psuedobulbar syndrome, autism spectrum, bipolar, and now bpd! Im like a mental illness supermarket.

  • Reply Joe Casale September 20, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    I've been wondering if I have BPD, as I seem to check most of the symptoms. I'm becoming less and less sure the more I read and hear about it. I don't think I have BPD, but there's something up. I guess therapy is the best bet.

  • Reply John O'Neill September 21, 2019 at 10:20 am

    He's in rehab now. Why am i not surprised?

  • Reply Mr Joey Bananas September 22, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    RUN!!! Far and fast!

  • Reply Josh Edwards September 23, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    I was dating a girl online, who I am fairly sure had some level of BPD, she also had social anxiety, she was very underweight (lack of food due to impulse spending). She didn't leave the house or have any friends. She refused to see her therapist for help while we dated. Which was supposed to "help her be normal enough" so she could date me. She never told me she had BPD specially but she did tell me a lot about her, which was certainly enough to justify my thoughts. After researching for 3 months (since she ghosted me). I have been able to almost fully heal from this loss. I only knew her for 2 months and fell for her very quickly. Everything was incredibly intense and there was not that many boundaries set. It was certainly a recipe for disaster.

    Everything was going great until one night, she got triggered by me changing my mind about our plans for that evening. I didn't feel well and told her I was going to sleep. She had a list of little things that she didn't like, but never discussed with me (it was incredibly passive aggressive and seemed manipulative). Essentially threw them all in my face and disappeared. I of course was not quite sure what happened. I was incredibly confused and reacted in quite a compassionate but neutral manner. I criticised her behaviour and way of dealing with the situation.

    After 1 week I sort of made it clear I was not "impressed with her behaviour" and would wait to maturely talk about it. (she totally felt a stab in the heart when I basically called her immature). Yeah, she read my messages after 1 week of completely ignoring me/emotionally shutting down. Then cleared off for good without a word. It totally destroyed me. I felt completely betrayed and lost. I had severe anxiety for 3 weeks. Each symptom slowly faded away after each week had went by. She had no idea what I was going through and I had no idea if she was okay either. I can imagine she felt similar to me.

    I still haven't heard back from her. I have to look after myself now. If I was more aware of what was going on, i would have been far more selfless but I felt this need to defend myself in some way because I felt i was being emotionally abused. I've given up blaming anybody for what happened. It's not her fault for being this way. I hope she gets the help she needs one day. I do wish I could have given the relationship a go but there's nothing I can do about it at this point. I've learnt that I was totally selfless in this relationship right until this happened. Regardless of her illness, I do not deserve to be treated that way, I need to respect myself enough to be a bit more compassionate towards my self and give myself the self love I need. I honestly felt like a shell of myself when she ghosted me. Things are looking up for me and I hope she manages to find someone who can help her. I'll never forget her, I never felt someone love me so much. Something didn't feel right about it though, I was always walking on eggshells and got the silent treatment one time in the middle. It's taught me a lot about myself and about relationships in general. Thank you for reading.

  • Reply Zkream September 24, 2019 at 3:33 am

    I often look into the mirror and some people think this is my ego but it's really because I don't know who I am and I don't know where to start to be who I am

  • Reply Mateo September 25, 2019 at 2:17 am

    Was married to a gal who was eventually diagnosed with BPD, and the sense I had was that she would 'compartmentalize' her emotional life, to the point where she'd be the sweetest, most agreeable person for a few days no matter the circumstances. And then one day it was like a 'relief valve' suddenly went off, where she had the need to totally ditch any sorta facade of 'agreeableness', in order to 'release' all the pent-up negativity… usually thru an hours-long bout of rage that nothing seemed to help. But then next day, even after the ugliest of fights, she'd act like nothing ever happened!

  • Reply iCQ_www-SPCL-tk September 25, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    some talks just go over my head… one of the videos i have to watch twice or more

  • Reply Rabin Tunlier September 25, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    +1 I really liked how he he listened when the guy was asking

  • Reply Spike EP September 25, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    It’s so utterly typical of the BPD Mindset that this Young Man so earnestly feels that he NEEDS to hear The Answer on this point, in order to move past it and get on with other things. He has a good handle on it, but on it’s clearly taking a toll on him and weighing on his mind, awfully.

  • Reply Spike EP September 25, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    •DAY-CARE•Kylo Ren•MATERNAL-BETRAYAL•

    2 Year Old Boys are NOT Good MaleFeminists or Allies — if The Mother abandons The Child in Infancy to ‘Pursue Her Career, and dumps the kid in DayCare to be raised by C-3PO, The Child is going to (correctly) interpret this Maternal Abandonment as a Betrayal by The Mother and ( incorrectly ) approach life thinking this is normal and expect it to happen to them constantly.

  • Reply Steven Cook September 27, 2019 at 12:03 am

    BPD can also be more prone to substance abuse, even extreme cases of illicit hard drugs and alcohol. Self medicating to escape from perveived or real abuse or abandonment. It is boiled down to IQ and consciousness. Becoming easily distracted, losing focus. Losing interest in a new partner quicker than others. Becoming easily offended. Overly sensitive to external stimulation.

  • Reply Laddicus Prime September 28, 2019 at 3:10 am

    I don't have many female friends anymore, and don't want many more. But a good friend of mine has BPD and this describes her, unfortunately fairly well. She's getting into filming and production; she's very creative and very talented when it comes to what she does; but it's true she can be emotional to an absolute extreme due to minor things. I've met others with BPD and they weren't half as nice as she is, really. I can relate on some issues; arguments w family, extremely bad temper, depression etc

    But is there anything I can do to help specifically? Was at her's the other day and she was having a bard argument with her mum, tried to calm them both down, idk

  • Reply krazyllah September 28, 2019 at 9:55 pm

    2:44 that hit me hard…

  • Reply Inner Peace Pursuit September 29, 2019 at 5:14 am

    The encouragements or just the appreciation I never heard from my "friends" or family, I heard them for the first time here, and from others people who themselves have BPD.. and I'm crying.. I feel a bit sad but I feel hope too. I can't thank you enough…

  • Reply Empress Labs September 29, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Having BPD is like being in the back seat and driving at the same time.

  • Reply Billy poppins September 29, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    How do I get diagnosed… I think I am borderline..

  • Reply Paul Peery October 1, 2019 at 2:22 am

    You can't explain demonic..

  • Reply Michelle Danielle Espino October 1, 2019 at 8:10 am

    Reading the new testament healed this in me. I found my identity in Christ where I couldn't create one for myself. I have the highest power guiding me now, so I believe this time I'm not going to allow this disorder to take over my life. Its a disease, or for a spirtual person a demon and guess what? You can rid people of demons with love and God's grace, prayer and fasting. There is hope in God, the same God this man refers to constantly in his videos. The God of the bible. Get a schedule. Clean your room and take care of yourself. Attend a church regularly. Seek help… emotionally, physically and spritually. You all deserve to heal. Jesus loves you. God bless. 🙏✨💕🌱

  • Reply Grant Goldberg October 2, 2019 at 5:58 am

    He just described my ex-fiancée.

  • Reply Logan Dausel October 2, 2019 at 6:40 am

    I wish people would stop trying to monetize the content that Jordan Peterson puts out for free on youtube smh

  • Reply J. B. October 2, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    Can't speak for everyone, but what I experienced with BPD is that you end up carrying out/continuing the abuse and trauma inflicted upon you. There's a part of your brain/spirit that is a wonderful human being capable of incredible achievements and relationships, but the part of your damaged brain/spirit is dominant and does not want to be helped. Your idolization of people is seeing/hoping what you wished your parent(s) to be in everyone you meet, but then pushing them away when they do not live up to this mythical idea of perfection. And if they can help you get rid of this dominant, damaged part, then they're even secretly (to even yourself) more of a threat.

    The only good part of BPD is that you can absolutely overcome it. It takes a LOT of work and analysis of your negative behaviors, and making sure you keep out of situations that can further your trauma.

  • Reply 3 as1 October 2, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    Based on these comments I should fit the bill but somehow I live a normal life. I guess because I never heard of this diagnosis before?

  • Reply Gael Westphal-Clifton October 2, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    Seriously?? This is your insight? It’s a meeting, so to speak, of extreme sensitivity and childhood trauma. It creates a developmental disability within us. Sorting through the trauma, and then practicing putting language to our feelings, learning to talk all over again so-to-speak, we begin to grow emotionally. In fact, because of our high level of sensitivity and intellect we begin putting pieces together very quickly and the growth is astonishing. As much as Jordan Peterson means well, he has learned a very outdated and useless set of “facts” regarding an illness I committed myself to recovering from and worked for 14 years before I won my battle. If you suffer, take heart and be hopeful. Find a doctor why has committed himself/herself to helping folks with BPD. Jordan’s statement implying it’s a woman’s illness is nonsense. Men suffer too if they are sensitive and have been traumatized between 2-4 years of age. Jordan Peterson, before you opine, at least have a chat with the courageous few who recover in order to have better insight into what the disorder is and what it isn’t and finally, what works and what doesn’t in the treatment process. I’m hoping you and your family are doing well and I will continue to pray for a beautiful outcome for you and your wife.🍃🌸🍃

  • Reply Mark Orendas October 4, 2019 at 1:54 am

    MODERN LIVING IS RUINING EVERYONE. EVEN THIER DISORDER HAS DISORDERS: MULTIPLE AGRIVATED DISORDER

  • Reply Miranda Kawasaki October 4, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    This guy is a pill popper who gets so weird when he talks about BPD that it’s almost guaranteed he has it himself

  • Reply Violin Player October 5, 2019 at 5:01 am

    My ex husband. He gambled everything away and sometimes he would say that we would be milioners if i was to invest his income, seems sorry and regretfull for a while, but then go his old way and never implemented that or any other solutions. Also intelegent, capable of self reflecting (sometimes), but no actions at all.

  • Reply Alex Guerra October 6, 2019 at 1:12 am

    Fuck.

  • Reply Ruby HL October 7, 2019 at 5:03 am

    Hearing someone without the condition having so much passion about it and giving us validation as to how we feel really helps so much. Thank you.

  • Reply SneakyBadger October 7, 2019 at 7:44 am

    Yeah my brain is a lot more developed than a two year old's.

    There goes that theory.

  • Reply Paul Zenco October 7, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    Listening to Jordan Peterson gives me anxiety, he appears so anxious and full of anguish

  • Reply swifty Mcshifty October 7, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    I definitely have this lol

  • Reply James Herrington October 8, 2019 at 12:45 am

    Im a male with full blown mpd and disabled due to a brain injury which is Totally painful.

  • Reply Ro Ni October 8, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    My husband, diagnosed with BPD , avoided abandonment by committing suicide. Tragic.

  • Reply Keely Holmes October 9, 2019 at 1:35 am

    I hate having BPD. The hardest thing to hear is that no one knows how to approach me. I could have an episode at any given moment, no matter how mild the issue is.

    I read that BPD can become manageable, the first step is awareness. That knocks out disassociation at times for me because I know exactly what is happening once my episodes begin.
    I was diagnosed at 16 and I am 18 now. I finally finished 2 therapy goals in my cognitive therapy.

    It's scary not knowing how you're going to react. I hardly feel like myself because I usually am kind and mindful, but when I misunderstand a situation, I immediately hate myself and devalue whoever I am around.

  • Reply SvenStadt October 9, 2019 at 4:44 am

    I have BPD. You feel like a walking zombie. You are a total loner, you feel like you have no place in the world. This is at least my experience with it. I have shirked away from social situations so many times. One of the odd things is the seemingly random nature of the triggers. It feels at times like you know what is triggering your episodes, but you can't pinpoint them! It is very frustrating!!

  • Reply julialeite63 October 10, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    It's not the person with BPD who has a problem. The problem is that she does not want to deal with the groups of people who gang up on her. One at a time is okay. More than that and she will decide to leave. It's not fear of abandonment that motivates her. It's not wanting to put her family in danger and leaving before someone gets hurt by unintended consequences.

  • Reply darkangelraaa October 11, 2019 at 1:32 pm

    Look up Dr Daniel Fox, he speaks so much more eloquently and knowledgeably on this matter. JBP sounds like he read the DSM-V last week, probably not long after he read the Communist Manifesto.

  • Reply Henrik Haavamae October 14, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    My main issue is being impulsive, I do it all the time, because it feels good, but I'm not sure that makes be borderline right away. Probably I am impulsive because I still have a little sense of need to prove myself to other people, that is bad. I want to change.

  • Reply Mutantcy1992 October 15, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    Oof, JP clearly isn't too well versed in this stuff in practice. The information he's spouting here is largely old school thinking about BPD which he probably learned awhile ago then never updated. BPD is no longer thought to be so predominantly feminine, and is no longer considered some female version of antisocial personality disorder. That's a very simplistic view of both disorders that seems to miss the difference in empathy levels between those two disorders.

  • Reply TBD October 16, 2019 at 5:25 am

    In my experience personality disordered people define their existence by how other people react to them. They also believe all of their unchecked emotions and therefore engage in perceptions not based in reality.

  • Reply TBD October 16, 2019 at 5:27 am

    Personality disordered are not usually aware of their automatic skewed defense mechanisms created in childhood.

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