[Juju’s theme song] [Girl] Hey, do you know where seventh avenue is? [Woman] Follow the bright of the moon. Mother Mawu will guide you. Ancestors, be with me. Shh, shh. [Door opens] SURPRISE!
[Ada screams] [electrical surge] [crowd groans and complains] [Gigi] Who the hell is this? [Yaya] One of your followers maybe? Hey, sis. Um, are you here for the party? It’s you. Yeah, uh, I guess. I followed you. Good, great. I’ll follow you back. [scoffs] Fine, um. Drinks and pizza are in the kitchen. Just try not to puke all over the place. Oooh. Nice crystal. Selenite, right? Yes. Yes it is. [Ada] Kyanite. Stone of Yemoja. Yes, yes, pretty rocks. Well we have to go and … do something. So! Chat, mingle, find a bae. Just remember no puking. [Boy] [slurring] I told you that last shot… was too much. [Girl] [giggles] No, I told you that. [Boy] No, I’m good. I could – I could walk straight fine. Girl: [laughs] No.
Boy: [laughs] Look, look, look. See. Boy: That’s a straight line. [Girl giggles] Boy: You know what, let’s come over here. [attempts to scream] [finger snap] [thrilling music] [ominious] Run. Let’s go. Kim: I’m so sorry. This is like my third cup of henny. I’m supposed to be in bible study right now.
At least that’s what I told my mama. Poor thing would probably douse me in Holy Water if she found out I was drinking Satan’s potion. Ada: Potion? It’s a joke. Kim: H-A-H-A Kim: Chill. Chill?! Kim: Relax? Calm down? Tranquilo. Ally taught me that one. I should go get you a towel. Oh, that is so pretty. [slap] Only those of blood grace their hands with the jujus of the ancestors. Sheesh! Gigi: And then you have these waste-men in my comments talking about how a respectable woman should dress. I mean, as if, anybody is out here trying to impress their lil’ funky asses. Yaya: Damn. Gigi: Hello! I’m bonding. I don’t know why you get so worked up over those trolls. Yaya: You should just turn your comments off. I don’t need you to make sense right now. Gigi: Well you has your attention anyway? Yaya: It’s not “who”. It’s “what”. Yaya: They found another man dead in an alley. Gigi: Good. One less troll off the street. [scoffs] I’m kidding! Gigi: Or not. You know sometimes I wonder if you would ever allow yourself to find someone. I do, though. Mmm. On Tinder. Wow. Maybe you should try it. Yeah, no. Tinder is not for me, I need a … Both: … spiritual connection. Blah, blah, blah. You and these feelings you love so much. And you’d love them, too. If you’d actually allowed yourself to feel. Mm-mm, girl. There’s no amount of sage or crystals in the world for me to think that I could ever emotionally attach to a man. Oh, yeah? Mmhmm. What about Kyle? I wonder if Kim went to get those cups. Yaya: Hmm. [party music & chatter] Oh, hey, Ally Cat! SURPRISE!
Whoo-hoo! The birthday girl is here! May the good Lord bless you with many more. Ada: Can I ask something of you? Ally: What the hell? Gigi: SURPRISE! Yaya: I tried to stop her. Ally: How is this something small? Gigi: Oh, you were serious? Ally: And who are all these people?
The only person I know is Kim! Yaya: And me! Gigi: They’re some of my friends from Instagram. A bunch of randos in the apartment. Yaya: Gi!
What?! Gigi: Drink. Not in the mood. Drink!
For fuck’s sake, sis. It’s your birthday. You know.
You’re an hour late. Work ran late. Did they know it was your birthday? Gigi: Did they at least buy a bitch a cake? Gigi: Hmm. You know.
I don’t even know why you’re still over there. Yaya: Come on, let’s go. Gigi: Oh, god. Ally: Everybody can’t be money-making YouTubers, Gigi. Even if that was an option, it’s too late for me now. Gigi: Girl, please.
You’re only 27. Ally: 28 in less than 30 minutes and that is two years shy of 30. So why would I change careers now? I thought I’d be senior producer by now! Gigi: Why are we talking about this?
You know you’re not going to do anything about it. Yaya: Oop! [spooky music]
[Kim whimpering] Ada: Hush, child.
It’s only temporary. [Kim whimpering] [faint whispers]
[Kim whimpering] Kim: Help me! Ada: Rest your tongue.
The room is spelled. Kim: Help me, please, somebody! [Ada chants an incantation]
[faint whispers] [Ada chants]
Kim: The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want. [stops] [party music & chatter] Yaya: Who even made the rule that you have to have your shit together by 30? Ally: Me. Gigi: Honestly, you sound so damn ridiculous. You can easily be that.
I mean once you quit feeling sorry for yourself. Ally: Whatever. Gigi: I’m just saying.
Ally: Say it someplace else. Yaya: Guys! You know what.
Gigi: Okaaaaay. Let’s forget about work, Als.
And enjoy your party. Ally: Oh, you mean Gigi’s party? Chris: Excuse me, ladies.
I don’t mean to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but to come say hi to the birthday girl. Chris: Here.
I brought you a drink, though. Hi. Bye. Chris: I was just trying to find the non-lamest way to shoot my shot. You feel me? You gotta do what you gotta do. You feel me?
You miss the shots you don’t take. Gigi: Gym’s closed.
Ok, sweetheart? Plus, she’s chicks over dicks.
Ally: Really? Chris: Oh nah nah nah nah!
It’s all good. I’m with that.
I’m with all that. It’s kind of sexy if you ask me.
What’s up, though? I’m all the way with that. Ally: I suggest you leave. Gigi: Please.
Tell me. What the fuck is it with you men and your entitlement to even assume that a lesbian would even want to include you incompetent, limp dick, no stamina, nut in 60 seconds having ass in the bedroom. Hmm? Chris: I- Chris: I was-
Gigi: Hmm. I was just joking. Gigi: Joking.
Joking. Why don’t you take that weak ass drink
and walk your ass right back to the where the fuck you came from? Gigi: Thank you. Gigi: Honestly, men are the real punishment for eating the fruit. Yaya: Must you always be so mean? Gigi: Yes. [girls laughing] Gigi: You’re back? Chris: I came to apologize.
Peace offering? [clash]
[drinks spills] Girls: WHOA! Kim [monotone]: I’m so sorry.
I could be so clumsy sometimes. Chris: Happy Birthday. I’m sorry, girls. Gigi: Girl, don’t. It’s fine.
You did us a favor, Kim. Yaya: What? He was cute.
Gigi: Girl, please. Gigi: Kim, did you get the cups? Cups? Gigi: Yeah, the cups. Uh, yes. Uh, yes.
They’re in the cooking chambers. [Ally & Gigi laughs]
Yaya: Ooookaaaaay. Yaya: I don’t think she needs anymore to drink. Gigi: Okay, Kim.
You straight? Ally: Yeah, you can go lay down in my bed if you want. Don’t be silly, Aleja.
I’m fine. I’ll be back with your, uh, cups. You’ll get her next time. What just happened? For one, you just made a complete fool of yourself. How ’bout we get out of here? [girls laughing]
Yaya: It was not that funny. Gigi: Oh!
Time for presents! Yaya: Ohhhh.
Ally: Oh, god. Yaya: What?
[gasps] Ally: Are those… Gigi: … enchanted cupcakes?
Why, yes. Ally: Oh, god.
You know I have to be up in the morning right? Gigi: And? Come on.
Don’t be a baby bitch. Yaya: Seize the day! Ally: What the hell? Gigi: You know what?
Let’s make a toast. Ally: Of course. Of course. Gigi: Yaya, you first. Yaya: To my best friend, Ally. May the year of 28 be the year you reach your full potential, the year you believe in yourself and put yourself first, and the year you stand up to that racist douche of a boss for always overworking you.
Gi, go. Gigi: To my spicy mami, my favorite Cubana, Ally, may this year bring you copious amounts of pums. Ally: Gigi. Gigi: Come on. What?
You’ve been cranky lately. may you also get the confidence to be the bad bitch that you really are, and, may this year bring you a better job. One of those jobs where you look at the Meet the Team page on the company’s website and you see a bunch of Black girls.
I love you, girl. Ally: I love you, guys. All: Ugh. [giggles] [Ada whimpering] [Kim chanting] Kim: Oh my fucking god!
Satan! Satan! I am a Child of God covered in the blood of Jesus! You will forget all this. There is a young man who needs help. Do you know who can help? The police. Call to them. Kim: [laughs] Again, I am so sorry about that. I hope I didn’t mess up your pretty dress. I have to go get some cups.
Okay, toodles! [party music & chatter] [Song: “Dolo In The Benz” by Khaed] [cellphone alarm] [groans]
Please, stop. [silence] [groans] No more edibles. Gigi: I need to get laid like now. Yaya: What? Ow!
How do you know I wasn’t with someone? Girl, please. Gigi: [moans] Yaya: Wait a minute.
I know you did not come in here just to masturbate on my bed. Gigi: I woke up feeling so horny. And sensual. And lusty — like… I’m in the mood to create. I mean I’m horny but, I feel like I could write something right now. Gigi’s Thoughts: I wonder what Kyle is doing. Yaya: I thought you an Kyle weren’t a thing. How did you know what I was thinking? Girl, I don’t have time to play games.
Alright? My head is killing me. Ally: Oh my god! Oh my god!
Oh my god, I’m running late. Oh dios mío.
And I’m still high. I can’t go to work like this. [Gigi mocking Ally] Gigi: Girl, quit your complaining and call out already. Ally: I can’t call out. I just– Ada: Good morning, girls. Ally: What the—
Yaya: Who are you? Yaya: What are you still doing here?
Gigi: Take anything you want out of Ally’s room. Ally: Wait a minute. I’m not a thief. Okay, so again: who are you? She was at the party last night. That was the lady Kim was helping. She was in my room! I’m a friend. No, we’re not friends.
Okay? Social Media is fake and we all know that. I’m here to help. Stay back, okay? That is no way to great your elder. Gigi, this edible is super intense. Gigi [thoughts]: God, I wish she would just toss that fucking show already. Ally [thoughts]: This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening! Everybody just shut up! Okay?! Ada: You’re feeling a strange intensity, aren’t you, Ayana? Fear stronger than you’ve every felt before. Ada: Tell me. Can you feel this? Okay, how does she know your name? Gigi: Yaya, what are you doing? Yaya: I don’t know. And I–
I feel… … calm. Yaya: Something weird is happening. Ally: Yaya, throw it! Ally: Holy shit. Gigi: Okay, what in the Piper Halliwell is going on? You three are witches. You three are witches. Ada: There is a young man that needs help. Do you know who can help? The police. Ada: Call to them. “9-1-1. What’s your emergency?” Kim: Um, hello, yes.
I think there’s a man in trouble. Boy 1: Aye, y’all see that? Boy 2: Oh shit. “Next time, on Juju web series…” Gigi: Okay, so, I don’t know about y’all. But my body is ready. If magic was real, my grandmother would’ve saved herself from cancer. But, here we are. I gotta get to work.
Unlike you two, I got a boss to answer to. Mr. Fairfax: You know I love to start my mornings with women and diversity. Ally: I wish you would just choke. [choking] Yaya: What if it isn’t fake news? Ally: Drink. Ada: Having fun? What you were doing just now does not cover the maginitude of the strength that you have. Ally: I’m not listening to this anymore You can’t keep running, Aleja. Ada: Be wary of all things… … but not who you are.