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How to Build Relationships at Work

November 10, 2019


In this video, we’re going to look at how to create positive relationships, especially in professional settings. Let’s unpack
it. CS Lewis the famous writer once said that friendship is unnecessary. Like
philosophy, like art, it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things
that gives value to survival. In this video, we’re going to talk about creating
positive relationships, especially in professional settings. There are a lot of
benefits to creating more positive relationships. First of all, when you’re
positive with other people it tends to enhance the overall atmosphere for
everybody. Second benefit is it is contagious.
Research shows than when you treat other people this way, they tend to reciprocate
and treat you in a friendly way back. So it increases the benefits for everybody.
And lastly one of the awesome benefits for leaders is that when people like
them and get along with them they’re willing to go farther for you to get the
job done. It’s called referent power. So you increase your positive influence
just by creating positive relationships with other people. So the bottom line of
this video is that you can create more positive relationships through
friendliness and likeability with the people around you. And I’m going to give
you three tips to help you move in that direction. The first tip is the
foundation for everything else that we talked about in this video. And that is
you want to take a genuine interest in other people. I know that nowadays this
is not the most popular way to handle interactions and relationships because
we’re all so self focused and we’re all consumed with everything that we have to
get done. But you’ll probably notice that the people who really touch you the most
and who really reach out to you the most take a genuine interest in your life.
When we are only focused on ourselves, we don’t tend to connect well with other
people. And so what you want to do is first of all in your mind say I’m just
going to take an interest in this person right now. Make it all about them.
For a little while ask them questions about their work. Ask questions about
their lives outside of work. Ask them questions about where they’re from.
People love talking about where they grew up and this is how you can do this.
Begin to take an interest in other people and watch what happens to your
relationships. Tip number two is be easy to get along with. Now I know a lot of
high maintenance people. They’re fussy and controlling about things and let’s
hope that’s not you. But if it’s you, make sure you are easier to get along with
than you used to be. It really helps in a lot of ways. For example, if you have a
tone of approachability so when people come to you you’re patient, you’re kind,
you’re generous and attentive with your time. That’s easy to get along with, that
approachability. You also don’t want to be high-maintenance. You want to be
low maintenance. High maintenance people get very fussy about things. they have a
lot of particulars that they insist upon and you don’t want to be like that. When
change comes your way, do your best to go with the flow, to be flexible, to be easy
to get along with. You don’t want to be high-maintenance. You want to be
low-maintenance. And the third tip is to be generous with your encouragement. You know, words of encouragement that’s one of the five love languages .And when
you’re pointing out specific things about what people are good at around you,
what you appreciate about them, it really can reach into their hearts and develop
a bond between you both because it’s one of the most precious things to us is
when people are encouraging. I don’t know about you but I have literally gone
years in certain work situations where I got almost no encouragement from the
work people around me. There are many toxic workplaces out there and if you’re
in one of these you can be a positive force for change by beginning to
encourage what you see in other people. I use these three tips every day at work.
As some of you may know, I am a college teacher and when I am in the classroom
even though I’m there to teach and they have
perform well to earn good grades, I know that positive relationships in the
classroom create a better atmosphere for everybody and it helps the students work
harder. So when I get there right from the beginning, I take an interest in
their lives. I’m approachable and easy to get along with. I give them lots of
encouragement and as a result we’re not just, we don’t just benefit from having a
wonderful atmosphere. We also benefit because those students are much more
willing to work harder in my class. My classes are challenging but they will go
the distance and they will rise to that level of high expectation because they
know I care about them. I’ve showed that I care about them. When people know that you are for them, they are going to go further for you. That is the bottom line
and that is one of the best things about establishing positive relationships in
addition to the benefit of relationships in general. Now if you’re in a
professional setting, you’re a supervisor of some sort, this does not mean you have
to be friends outside of work and spend a ton of social time with people outside
of the boundaries of work. I don’t hang out with my students on the weekends, for example and I know many supervisors want to keep a boundary between work and
private life and that’s completely appropriate and I support that 100%.
Other people are a little more flexible with those boundaries, which can also work. But, when you’re at work, when you’re face to face with people, the key is to build
those positive relationships when you can and you’ll see that you don’t really
have to spend all that much time outside of work to bond with them. So in summary, you can create more positive relationships with people through
friendliness and likeability by using these three tips. Your homework is very
simple. I want you to think of one specific person. In fact, I want you to
think of that person right now. I have somebody in mind. And I want you to take one or more of these tips that we’ve talked about in this video and apply it
in that next conversation that you have with that person. And then watch what
happens to that relationship over time as you continue to do this. I’d like to
finish with a quotation from the great Mother Teresa. She said kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Thanks I’ll see you in
the next video. I hope that you found that lesson on creating positive
relationships helpful. We’re getting toward the end of a five-part mini
course in essential professional communication skills. I’ll put a link to
all five lessons in the description below this video as well as to the
downloadable PDF quick guide that summarizes all the tips for you in one
place and links to all those videos so you can get right to them if you would
like to. So let’s get into the next video on collaborative problem-solving.

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