Articles

Enneagram Types at Job Interviews

October 1, 2019


I really believe in the philosophy if
you don’t know everything, you don’t know anything. Is that water I got you okay? oh good good Now, I own my own business also, which I’m not planning on giving up. I am not the girl for this job. That’s not me. But I don’t know if that really helps with what you’re describing. The uh smoke alarms are up to date and you can show me a map of all the fire
escapes? Boom! Fist pump right there. I like you. I can already tell I like you. We
gotta thing I do like that that label on my desk that says “boss.” How do I get your job? I’m kidding! I hate conflict. Yes, uh, my references I’ve provided as you can see, their email addresses, their phone numbers, their home addresses, their social security numbers, the names of their first born children and the schools
that they attend just in case you have a hard time reaching them you can always
call and say it’s the school trying to get ahold of you. Everything’s put in to their boxes All neat, in a bow. Tell me about you, though! Yeah, are you seeing some good applicants? I just want to make sure you
really find the person who’s right for the job. You know I mean the last thing I
want is for you to put in this long nine hour workday, walk away with no one! Oh
that’d be a bummer! Hey did you get a chance to try that casserole yet? Oh, just a second, this is uh this is my other job. Yeah? So, my jewelry business is going places, but we’re not there yet. So, how I see this working together is I
can still pursue this on the side with a flexible schedule. I’m not planning on coming in every day, like five days a week in a row.. and this salary here is really good,
sooooo perfect match! I’m going to be so honest with you. I read and reread this job description before I walked in those beautiful rotating glass doors today. I think, there may be an opportunity for us to create a new position. For example, a smell coordinator. This room, this scent, the mixology in here is off. So, smell branding would be definitely a gift of mine. So, do I have experience in customer
service interactions? Um, I guess that depends… just over 15 years of experience
as the head of concierge for Marriott Enterprises, but I I doubt that applies. Spanish? Yeah, I mean I lived in Spain for four years, so I guess you could say I’m
conversational, but I’m sure you’re gonna want somebody more fluent than that. Can you tell me a little bit about your 401k plans? Self-directed? Simple? Safe harbor?
Tiered? Platinum? Hopefully, not you know, traditional. You might want to be aware
that the coffeemaker was plugged into the same outlet as the water cooler
which as you know is an OSHA hazard. Hee..previous experience? I got previous
experience coming out of my ears! Semester and a half of film school. Professional dog walker. Street entertainer. For a summer, I worked in the Adirondacks. Rad! Barista. A life coach and a union certified forklift operator. That’s what I bring to the table. The person I’d be working for, are they gonna be here for a while? How long until I can take over their position? Yeah yeah, I understand that that’s not the job I’m here interviewing for TODAY. I’m a natural leader. BOSSSSSSSS So, what’s my um greatest? I mean, oh my gosh, you guys have the neatest little desert critters out there! Look at
that! What was the question? What is my greatest ambition in life? I mean, well I, Right. So, what you mean is okay so my greatest ambition, so I know this one! It hurts, but not as much as your question.

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply