Articles, Blog

Enneagram #3 The Achiever | Sandals Church

October 11, 2019

(soft music) – Good morning Sandhills Church. Man, I’m glad you guys are here today. Super excited. How many of you guys
have ever done something and you just go like, why did I do that? You ever done that? Like, what was I thinking? Was I thinking? Why did I think that? Like, a lot of us men we do
things and we don’t know why we do what we do and so we’re
in a series at Sandhill Church called You and that’s what
we’re trying to uncover, what’s driving you, what’s motivating you? Why do you do what you do? why do you do those things
that drive you crazy? Like, you know you don’t want the outcome but you do it anyways, why
do you find yourself there? So, we’re in this series called You where each week we’re looking
at nine personality styles, so we started with the one, the reformer, they can see the way the world should be and so, men at their best,
they make everything better, at their worst, they should
on themselves, others, and God, and I said should so just know that that’s what I said, should, then last week when we looked at the two, they’re our helpers
and at their best, man, they serve, they love
us, they take care of us, at their worst they become
prideful and resentful because they serve and care for all of us and so this week, we’re
gonna look at the three and I’m gonna try to be
delectate because I’m a three and just so you know, there
are some personality types that if you love one or you know one, you need to wear a helmet and a three is one of
those personality types so if you’re married to a three, you’re gonna understand why you’re bruised and why you’re hurting
because as a three, man, we’re just so, so driven
and we’re gonna look at the motivation of the three today and my prayer is that if you are a three, you would better understand yourself and if you know a three, you
would have more compassion for just literally the
struggle that is every day in their life. So, let’s begin with a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, God, we pray, Lord, that you would teach us about ourselves, God, Lord, that we would
look at the three type and just have compassion and mercy, Lord, for the struggle that is the achiever. God, I pray that we
would see their beauty, that we would see the wonder
of how you’ve created them, God, and we would have compassion for them as they live out their giftedness to make this world a better place. Lord, teach us about
ourselves, we pray this today in Christ’s name, amen. We’re gonna take a look
at a very, very busy three and this is what threes are, they’re constantly busy, they’re
thinking about the future, they’re always in a rush, and so let’s take a look at this story. It says as Jesus was starting
on his way to Jerusalem, underline, there’s a man came running, three’s are always running,
they’ve got places to go, they’ve got things to do,
they gotta make stuff happen, threes feel like life is too short, this is how you know if you have a three and it’s a child of yours. Your three year old, even
when they’re five, will say, who’s gonna take over Sandhills Church when Pastor Matt dies? and you’re like why,
are you gonna kill him? No, I just wanna know
where my future lies. So, a three wants to be
President of the United States, a three wants to be a pastor,
a three wants to be a mayor, a three wants to be
successful at all costs. It’s the thing that matters. They wanna make a difference. And so here’s this three,
he comes running up to him, he kneels down and he says, “Good teacher, what must I
do to inherit eternal life?” Now, underline that. Here’s what he’s really
asking: how do I win? How do I win? Just know this, if you
have a three in your life, playing Uno with a three is dangerous because a three wants to win, a three needs to win. Even if you’re playing Grandma,
she needs to know her place. Right? So just know this. With a three, three’s wanna win. The three mantra is if
you’re not cheating, you’re not trying hard enough, right? That’s the three. It’s all about the victory. Now just know this in America, America is the home of
the brave and the what? No, it’s the land of the three, that’s what it is. It’s not the land of the free, it’s the land of the three. In America, it’s win or die. How many of you guys
ever watch Super Bowl? Even if it’s just one
time, watch the Super Bowl? You ever seen the team
that comes in second? (crying imitation) They’re crying. It’s like wait a minute, you
just played in the Super Bowl, we will never even go to the Super Bowl, we can’t even afford a
ticket for the Super Bowl. You came in second and
what do Americans do? Cry and quit. Because it’s first or bust. Home of the brave, land of the three. Right? We want to win. It’s not enough in America
to be a billionaire, we actually rank them. Did you know that? Forbes Magazine every year
ranks the wealthiest Americans and they watch each other. Oh, you made a billion dollars this year, congratulations, well, I made 10. That’s literally America. So, America is the land of the three. You gotta be successful,
you gotta achieve, you gotta strive, you gotta
be the best no matter what. So, three’s feel very at home in America and very miserable and
we’ll talk about why. So, what do I have to do
to inherit eternal life? So, here’s the question, not
only am I winning at life, Jesus, I wanna know how
to win in the next life. So, Jesus does a Jedi mind
trick where he’s gonna get to the heart of the issue rather than the question that’s asked. He says, “Why do you call
me good?” Jesus asked. He says, “Only God is truly good. “But to answer your question,
you know the commandments.” If you don’t know the commandments, you might wanna write these down. Here’s a good place to
start: don’t murder. Like, if you were thinking about
killing somebody this week, God says don’t do that, they’re not called the 10 Suggestions, they’re called the 10 Commandments. Don’t murder. Next one, you must not commit adultery. Some of you don’t know what adultery is, it’s not you’ve become an awesome adult, that’s not what it means, it doesn’t mean you’ve mastered adulthood. What it means is you
cheated on your spouse or you cheated with someone else’s spouse. Don’t do that, the bible says. Some of you didn’t know
that, so write that down. Next, you shouldn’t steal. Don’t steal. Especially if you’re a three. Don’t steal. Next, you must not testify falsely, if you’re a three, that’s
gonna be uncomfortable as we talk about your core sin. Next, you must not cheat on anyone. Ah, that ruins monopoly, right? Next, you gotta honor your
mother and your father. “Teacher,” the man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these
commandments since I was young.” I’m a three. Since I came out of the
womb, I have been successful at everything I do. Looking at the man, Jesus
felt, and this is interesting for the three, circle this word genuine. This is something that’s hard for a three. It’s hard for the three to be real. It’s hard for the three to be authentic. It’s hard for the three to be genuine. And notice here, Jesus
feels genuine love for him. Why does he care about the three? Because three’s change the world, they drive us crazy, but
they change the world. And so this man has the
potential to change the world and we’ll talk about that in a second. He says there’s one thing you
still haven’t done, right? ‘Cause three’s are doing,
what do I gotta do, what do I gotta do, what do I gotta do, what do I gotta do to be successful? Jesus says there’s only
one thing, imagine that. If Jesus just told you the
one thing you needed to do. He says, there’s one
thing you haven’t done. He says go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor and then you’ll have treasure in heaven. Now, some of you are
like, man, that’s easy. Yeah, that’s ’cause
you’re a college student and you’re broke. I always love college students man, Jesus, I’ll give you everything, you can have everything
in my pocket and my debt, I will follow you. But listen, let’s say
you’ve worked really hard, let’s say you’ve made some money, let’s say you’ve bought some
homes, you have a portfolio, you have some retirement, let’s
say you’ve done well in life because you’ve tried hard in life, this makes this calling
way, way different. It becomes difficult. He says go and sell all your
money and give it to the poor, sell all your possessions,
give it to the poor, then you will have treasure in heaven, then he says come and follow me. At this the man’s face
fell, and he went away sad, because he had many possessions. Listen, if you’re a three,
you don’t have possessions, your possessions possess you because the three defines themself based upon the clothes we
wear, the car we drive, the house we live in. The three is all about image. All about image. I gotta look successful,
I gotta seem successful, and so everything around me
has to make me look good, so if you’re a three, you
don’t just want a wife, you want a trophy wife. Right? ‘Cause she’s gotta make you look good. You are very, very image conscious from the time that you were little, you cared about the clothes you wore. Man, when I was a kid, I
would try to figure out how to put a fake label on my clothes. I’m serious, man. My heart was Nordstrom but my
mom’s budget was Kmart, right? You know what I’m saying? I was like, mom, this is killing my style. But the man’s face fell,
and he went away sad. ‘Cause he had a lot of stuff. How sad is this if you’re a three if you inherit the whole world and yet forfeit your soul? Listen to me, if you’re
a three, when you die, you leave it all. None of it goes with you. The only thing in heaven is
what you’ve invested in heaven, that’s it. Jesus said, so all that you have, then you’ll have treasure in heaven. Jesus later would say
where your treasure is, there your heart is also. Jesus looked around and
he said to his disciples how hard it is for the rich
to inherit the Kingdom of God. Underline these words,
this amazed them, why? ‘Cause in the ancient world,
here’s what everybody thought, if you’re rich, you’re blessed. If you’re rich, God loved you. If you’re rich in this
life, in the ancient world, they thought surely you’ll
be rich in the next life and Jesus completely
flips that upside down. He says not only will the
rich not get into heaven, it is impossible for them to do so. Jesus said, “Dear
children, it is very hard “to enter the Kingdom of God. “In fact, it is easier for a
camel to go through the eye “of a needle than for a rich person “to enter the Kingdom of God.” And you say, what on Earth does that mean? Let me just be honest with you, no one knows what that means. Now, I know some of
you have been to church and you’ve heard amazing
sermons about this gate in Jerusalem that was
called the Camel’s Gate, I’ve been to Jerusalem,
there’s no Camel’s Gate. We don’t know what Jesus
meant except for the fact he tells us what it meant. It means it’s impossible. You can’t get there on your own. The disciples were astounded. They said, “Then who int he
world can be saved?” They asked. I love this. Jesus looked at them, circle this word and remember this next
time you and I talk, people are always so
intimidated when we talk. This is what my kids say, dad, you can’t stare into
people’s soul when you talk. I’m an intense talker,
that’s how God made me. Why? ‘Cause I’m like Jesus,
look what Jesus does, he looked at them intently. It’s not my fault I have ADD. If I don’t look at your face,
I can’t hear your words. But it’s amazing. Man, I look at people and
they’re like oh, this is weird. I’ve only met one person in the world who talks like I do. President, Vice President Mike Pence, he stared into my soul, I stared back, ’cause I’m a three, I have to win. We had a stare down in the
White House, it was awkward. Really happened, I’m not just kidding. My wife’s like look away, look away. I’m like I can’t, I’m a three. Jesus looked at them intently, he said, “Humanly speaking, it’s impossible.” Do you know that many of
you don’t believe this? You don’t believe that it’s impossible for you to earn your way to heaven and you know why I know
you don’t believe this? Because you don’t share your faith. You don’t share your faith in Christ with your Hindu friends,
with your Muslim friends, with your atheist friends, you don’t share your faith in
Christ with your dumb friends who believe they’re good enough to get into heaven on their own. You don’t share your
faith because you believe that there’s some other
way other than Jesus for people to get to heaven. A lot of people believe that. People tell me all the time, well, I believe I’m a good
person so I’ll get into heaven. You know what the problem with that is? When people say that,
when people believe that, they’re comparing themselves
to the idiots they know. Well, I’m pretty good, look around. Look at these people. Not as bad as them. Well, show me the verse in the Bible where it says they’re the standard. Couple years ago I was getting ready to do my first Iron Man
event and if you don’t know what that is it’s an
event for stupid people. Seriously. You swim 2.4 miles, you
ride your bike 112 miles, and you run a marathon in one day, not like in a year, in one day and you have to do it
in less than 16 hours or you’re disqualified. So, this sweet lady in
our church came up to me, she said, Pastor, I’m praying
for you in your Iron Man this week, she said, I hope you win. I said, what do you mean you hope I win? She says, well, don’t you
think you’re gonna win? I said, no. She said, well, you’re the
most fit person that I know. I said, I’m not racing you. See, that’s why they don’t
let me do counseling. She’s like, I’m out of here. Listen to me, you know why
you’re not gonna go to heaven apart from Jesus? ‘Cause you’re not Jesus. You’re not getting in. Your friends aren’t getting in, your family’s not getting
in, Gandhi’s not getting in, Mother Teresa’s not getting in, Billy Graham’s not getting in, the Pope’s not getting in
unless they follow Jesus. He’s the only way. Why? Listen to me. It’s impossible, it’s
impossible, you can’t get there from here apart from Jesus and
that’s why we need to share our faith, that’s why we need
to tell people about Jesus. Even the most successful people, even three’s, even the rich young ruler who’s tried to do everything
right since he was a kid can’t get there from here. He says, humanly
speaking, it’s impossible. But with God, underline
this if you’re a three, with God, everything is possible. On your own, you can’t do hardly anything even if you’re a three but with God, all things are possible. The three is the achiever. Man. And they reflect God’s hope. Here’s what makes the three unique, here’s why we need to love three’s. The beauty of the one is they
see how if you just tweak something, it could be better. The one can make things
better, they can adjust. The two can serve and
make sure that our needs are taken care of and we feel
loved and we feel cared for, that’s the beauty of the one and the two. Here’s the beauty of the three, they don’t adjust and they
certainly don’t serve. Here’s the beauty of the three, they’re not limited to
what we see in the world, they see things that aren’t. Tammy and I, we went to Washington DC and if you’re married, take notes, here’s how you enjoy
vacations as married couples, you talk about honey,
what would you like to do? And then hopefully she’ll ask,
what would you like to do? And then you both get to
do what you want to do. Okay? So, in DC, you can’t do everything, there’s just not enough time. So, my wife really wanted
to see the Hope Diamond. Now, for a three, that’s torture. Why? ‘Cause you can’t buy
it, you can’t afford it, you can never make enough money, it’s worth 350 billion dollars and it’s locked up and guarded by guards so you can’t get it. So, for a three, that’s like a nightmare. Oh, look at this thing I’ll never own. So, my wife said, what’s
the one thing you wanna see? You know the one thing I wanted to see? I wanted to see the airplane
that the Wright Brothers built. A lot of you guys don’t know this but your life has been
affected by these two brothers who, by the way, were bicycle mechanics. At the time, it was believed
that flight was impossible but these two brothers saw
something that didn’t exist, that’s what three’s do. They see things that don’t exist, they see things that nobody else sees and they go for it when the
world says that’s impossible. I read an article in the New York Times about the Wright Brothers
and it said this, the Wright Brothers are
either liars or fliers. How many of you have been on an airplane? They were fliers, they were fliers. Man, this year we celebrated or remembered the 50th year since Martin
Luther King was assassinated. He’s a three. Why? He had a dream that one day, one day, it wasn’t then, it wasn’t in the 60s, that one day there wouldn’t
be drinking fountains for people of color and
other drinking fountains for people who were white. He had a dream that one day
people would not be judged based upon the color of their skin but of the content of their character. That’s a three. That’s a three. He had a dream and his
dream changed your life and it changed my life and it
made the world a better place. Three’s reflect hope. I see something that no one else sees. What drives them? What’s at the core of their heart? Success, one word. Gotta be successful. If you got a first grader
that wants to buy a suit, that’s a three. That’s a three. Right? Their motivation is success. I’ve got to be successful. I’ve got to be a big deal. I’ve gotta, it doesn’t matter what it is, they gotta be the best. They sell real estate, they
gotta sell more than you. They gotta have a nicer car, they gotta have a better looking spouse, better looking kids,
better dressed clothes. It doesn’t matter what
is, whatever the game is, the three has to win and you have to lose just so we all understand who we are. Their motivation is to be successful. It can be academics, it can be money, it can be acting,
performing, singing, dancing. The three doesn’t care what the stage is as long as they’re on the stage, right? And you’re in the audience,
appreciating our glory. And that’s coming from a
three on stage right now. What’s their deep need? What is the underlying need? Their need is to achieve. They gotta leave their mark. They gotta be remembered. And for some of you, that’s crazy. Like, why do you care so
much about what people think? ‘Cause that’s what the three cares about. I wanna be read about and remembered, I wanna make a difference, I wanna see my name in lights, I wanna be popular, I wanna be wealthy, I wanna be famous. I’ve got to achieve. What does the three have
to avoid at all costs? One word: failure. Right? Three’s, we don’t fail, we don’t lose, we just ran out of time. We just ran out of time. We can’t fail, we can’t. Failure is not an option. Not an option! My first Iron Man, a lot
of people don’t know this, I didn’t know this, but a lot
of people have a panic attack during the swim, during
their first Iron Man. Why? Because you put yourself in the water with a bunch of other unhealthy three’s, 3,000 others specifically
speaking and they shoot a gun off and everybody tries to win. What that means is you’re
gonna get pushed under water and I know it’s hard for you to believe but I’m not super big so I
get pushed under water a lot so I felt like I was gonna drown. So, I swam over in the first
100 yards, found a boat. What I didn’t know is the
Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, to earn a badge that week,
were gonna help rescue any swimmers in need. So, I swam over to the boat to be rescued and I put my hand on the
boat, which is legal, it’s legal for a time, the
boat just can’t carry you but they can save you. And I put my hand on the boat, looked up, and I saw a Girl Scout with her vest on and I thought to myself,
I would rather die and I just let go. I just let go. We are not going to be
saved by a Girl Scout, that is not gonna happen,
you can sell me cookies, you can not save my life. Right? I didn’t fail, I died trying. How sick is that? I would rather my wife be a widow and my children be orphans than receive help from a
Girl Scout earning a badge. Cannot fail. Listen to me if you’re a three,
this is why this is so sad, you know what failure actually does is it deepens you and strengthens you and three’s are shallow. We’re shallow. We run from things we can’t win at. You know how you become a deeper person? By embracing failure, by
learning from failure, by experiencing. You can’t do it all. So, three’s, we’re the
most driven people on Earth but here’s the reality three, there is a limit to your ability despite what stupid America says to you. The dumbest thing we tell
kids, especially three’s is you can be anything you want. Wrong. Look at my body, look at me. I cannot be an NBA basketball player. Coach, maybe. Okay? Genetically, it’s not in the cards. What if I told you I
wanna be a linebacker? Hey, steroids aren’t gonna help that. I’d be in one play. He’s dead. Listen to me three’s, here’s the thing, you’re going to run into people who are more successful than you. And if you’re unhealthy,
you’ll never be okay with that. No matter how much money
you have, someone has more. No matter how good looking you are, there’s always somebody better looking. I mean, at least like 100 years ago, you could fool yourself and
be the best looking person in your town, now there’s
the internet, you’re like oh. (groaning) You could’ve been the
richest person in your city but now there’s Forbes Magazine and you didn’t even make the list. They don’t even know you exist. But you gotta embrace that. Three avoids failure. So what do they focus on? Now, if you love a three, pay attention, they focus on goals. Now, here’s the thing, listen, if you love a three,
don’t believe their goals, never believe their goals. They’re moving. A three will lie to you. My goal is to get my PhD. And then when they get
it, I will now get another because I have to have the most PhD’s of anyone on Earth ever. A three will say once I
make a million dollars I’ll be satisfied then
a million to 10 million then 10 million to 100
million then 100 million to literally a billion and
then a billion to a trillion. Don’t believe their goals. If they’re unhealthy, they
will never be satisfied. They’re insatiable. Their goals are a moving target. A moving target. They’re never satisfied. Ever. But that’s what they’re focused on. Here’s the things I’m
going to do with my life. What’s their core sin? Now, this is embarrassing
because I’m your pastor and I teach here every
week, please come back. But here’s the core sin of the three, it’s lying. They’re not honest. Do you know why? Because the truth is painful. You see, the three has such
a need to be successful they have to create lies in order to meet their own standards. Isn’t that crazy? Three’s are some of the most
successful people we know. Many of you look up to
three’s, listen to three’s, follow three’s, your lives
have been changed by three’s, but they’re so insecure in who they are, they lie about their accomplishments
because they don’t feel like no matter what they
accomplish it’s ever enough so they lie to everybody
including themselves. Why? Because their fear is being worthless. Listen to me, if I don’t
have nice clothes, who am I? If I don’t drive the best car, who am I? When Tammy and I first got married, our car payment was more
than our house payment. Yeah, I’m an idiot. We bought dogs. Not only do I need a dog,
I gotta have a big dog, bigger than your dog. I don’t have the money
to feed the big dog, it doesn’t matter, I’m a three. My dog will eat your dog. It’s stupid. What am I doing? What am I doing with my life? Here’s what I was doing with my life, I’m all about image. Why? Because the core, core
issue, the underlying emotion of the three is shame. If I don’t have my
clothes, you won’t love me. If I don’t drive this
car, you won’t date me. If I don’t have this
house, you won’t come over. If I’m not successful,
you won’t care about me. I won’t matter to you. You see the fear of the three is if you really knew me,
you wouldn’t love me, you wouldn’t wanna be my friend. You wouldn’t celebrate me. This is why so many actors
in Hollywood go crazy ’cause they’re threes and
here’s what they believe: once I become famous,
then I’ll be satisfied and then they become famous
and they’re miserable. I followed the career of Jim Carrey and I looked at one of his
quotes this week, he said, I wish somebody would’ve
told me when I was young that wealth and fame wouldn’t satisfy me. The problem is the three
doesn’t listen to that. They believe the lie. And if you follow Jim Carrey,
you know he’s gone nuts because that’s what happens. No amount of success can
ever cover your shame, only the blood of Jesus can. Don’t chase your dreams, chase the cross. Run to the cross because
only the cross can deal with what is wrong inside of you. So, how on earth does a
three need to be real? The three needs to be real with himself. Psalms 119:29, keep me from lying to whom? Myself. If you’re a three, you lie to yourself more than anybody else, you’re not honest about how you feel, what you’ve done, or where you’re going. You’re not honest. Keep me from lying to
myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. You see, here, right, the one
has an internal moral compass, they know what’s right,
the three has no compass, so the three needs God’s word. See, if you’re a three, you gotta drive but you got no steering wheel. God’s word is a steering wheel to control where you take that drive
and without God’s word you’re gonna be lost and
you’re gonna destroy yourself. Listen to me, if you’re a
three, your dream may be your nightmare, it may be the very thing God came to save you from. It’s why I hate when
people go to these churches where literally here are these sermons that God came to fulfill your dreams. Man, when I read God’s word,
much of what God’s doing is trying to save us from our dream. I mean, some of you have
got what you always wanted, how is it? Eh! It’s a mess, see? Somebody had a dream. Jesus said to the people
who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples “if you remain faithful to my teachings.” You will know the truth
and the truth will what? Set you free. Listen to me, if you’re a three, the facts are your friends. Never stray from the facts. You can lie to yourself. Let’s go back to the rich young ruler. Jesus, good teacher, what must
I do to inherit eternal life? What did Jesus say? Why do you call me good? But, to answer your question,
you know the commandments. Yes, I do, Lord, and I
have obeyed them perfectly ever since I was a little
kid ’cause I’m a three and I’m successful at everything I do. Hm. Does anybody know what
the first commandment is? Thou shalt have no other Gods but me and so what does Jesus do? He calls out what he worships, stuff. Oh, you’ve mastered all 10. Well, why don’t we start with number one? What’s number two? Thou shalt have no idols. Oh. What are you bowing down to? Your car, your house,
your clothes, your image. How we doin’? Why don’t we really call it out? Why don’t you sell everything you have then follow me then you’ll
have treasure in heaven? And the man walked away
from ultimate success, why? Because he’d been very successful. He lied to himself. Listen to me, threes, and he went to hell. Went to hell. But he had a lot of stuff. How are you to be real with others? James 5:16, confess
your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be what? Healed. Listen to me threes,
confession is your friend. Confession is your friend. You gotta learn to tell people yeah, you know that story I told? That’s not true, that’s not what happened. Here’s what happened. Here’s what’s going on. Confess your sins one to another. The earnest prayer of a
righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Threes, you want your
prayer life to change? You need to change and start confessing. How should you be real with God? The Lord said to Samuel, don’t judge by his appearance or height for I’ve rejected him. Now, some of you don’t know the story but here’s the issue, Israel
had a king, his name was Saul, we’re gonna take about him next week but Saul blew it and
Israel needed a new king so God called his prophet
Samuel and he said I want you to go to the house of Jesse, Jesse has a bunch of sons, bunch of sons, statistically having more
than 12 boys in a row is literally a miracle in of itself. Jesse has all these sons. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And so, Jesse lines them up,
literally from the oldest to the youngest, from the
tallest to the shortest, and God says don’t you dare
look at how they appear. God says I don’t give a rip
how you look on the outside, I care about who you are on the inside and here’s what Samuel says to Jesse, there’s a son that’s
missing, where is David? And Jesse says, little David? Yes, little David. He’s out in the field, I didn’t think God would
be interested in him. And that’s the very son God chose to be the king of Israel. Don’t judge by appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not see
things the way you see them. People judge by outward
appearance, yes, especially threes. But the Lord looks at the heart and that’s where the
three doesn’t want to go because of shame. So, how on earth do you love a three? With a helmet. Be careful. Number one, you’ve got to encourage them to celebrate success. Do you know why that is? Three’s are so forward thinking they can’t ever celebrate what God did. Literally this week my wife
and I had a quick conversation, she had all of my Iron Man medals. You know what I told her? I said throw those away. She says, I’m not going
to throw these away. She says, we’re gonna
mount them on the wall. It’s like, why would you do that? She said, ’cause they’re a big deal. It’s crazy to me. Three’s are terrible
at celebrating success. Listen to me, here’s why
you need to celebrate because it reminds the
three of what God did. In the Old Testament,
it’s called an Eben-Ezer. We’re gonna put a big
stone here of remembrance and we’re gonna remember what God did. Three’s are so focused on the future, they screw up the present. A three is so goal-oriented,
they’ll miss a birthday party. You gotta tell a three, our kids matter and you will be here. You will be here. You see, a three will change the world and lose their family. You hear about a lot of these
great people who did amazing things and they were terrible
husbands and worse fathers. Listen to me, threes, who you are really is who you are in the home. Next, how to love a three,
you gotta be real with them. It’s hard, threes are
tough, they’re overwhelming, they’re big personalities,
they’re tough to compete with, you’ve got to be real with them. One of the greatest moments in my life, was one of the worst moments in my life. Tammy and I had a fight,
we had an argument, and I’m not proud of this but it ended up with her locked in a
bathroom in her house. The best way to fight with a three is with a door in between you. This is what I said,
I’m not proud of this, this is what I yelled through the door. Why is it, Tammy, that
everyone in the world, quite a statement, thinks
I’m amazing but you? And I heard her say from
the other side of the door, she said, because nobody
knows the real you like I do. Do you know why she said what she said? Because when I’m on stage, I’m on stage but when I’m at home, that’s who I am. Listen to me threes, what good is it if you inherit the whole
world but you lose your soul, you lose your family,
you lose your friends, as a three, you can be the most
popular person in the world, you can have 100,000 followers on Twitter and not a friend in the world. You see, as a three, you
can be the most popular and the most lonely because you’re fake. You’re not real. Anybody wondering why God
would call me to plant a church whose vision was to be real
with self, God, and others? Number three, how to love a three, you just gotta accept
they’re a little nuts. They just are. They’re a little off. Can you imagine if you’re
the Wright Brothers mom? Boys, what are you
gonna do with your life? We’re gonna fly. We’re gonna fly. Uh, like a bird? Yes, yes. Okay. Okay. Right? That’s nuts. Right? If God wanted you to fly, he would’ve given you wings. Well, we’re gonna make our own wings. Three’s are just a little off. Three’s do stupid things
like on their vacation, they do Iron Mans. That’s, like, yeah,
somebody got that, yeah. For most normal people, right? Vacation involves an
umbrella, sand, and a corona. For a three, it involves
suffering and vomiting and other liquids. Yes. Right? Number four, this is huge, you have to encourage them to connect with how their feeling. Do you know why? They don’t deal with
the heart, that’s scary. Tammy and I went to counseling
a year and a half ago for her, she was struggling. I had been praying, you know,
that God would speak to her, so we went to counseling. You know, I was convinced
God was gonna do something amazing in her life. So it was three days of
counseling with two counselors, eight hours a day. And Tammy’s sharing her story and I’m waiting for God to move. ‘Cause I wanted to be successful, right? And so the counselors just
periodically would stop looking at her and look at
me and then they would ask this question, how are you feeling? I was like great, this
is great, this is great. Hm. Then he went, how you feeling? How you feeling? Day two, hour four, I started
getting an eye twitch. No, I’m serious, I was like. (grumbling) Why do you keep asking me that? So, Tammy and I go to lunch, you know, the counseling’s
not, it’s not having a big impact on her so I’m a
little frustrated, you know? We go to lunch and ordered a
salad, that’s all I remember, and I started crying. What is this? Those are feelings. (crying) And the rest of the time,
we just focus on me, it was crazy and I asked the counselor, I said, why do you keep
asking me questions? We’re here for her. He said, you’re a three,
you don’t know how you feel. He said, you’re completely
disconnected from your feelings. You’re so focused on being successful, you can’t deal with the emotional failure and pain of your life. (crying) The hormone pills. I’m really not on hormone pills, it just sounds funny. So, encourage them. Hey, man, that’s great, Sandhills baptized 519
people last weekend, that’s great, that’s great. (audience applauding) How does that make you feel? I think I need to baptize you, that’s how it makes me feel. You gotta connect with your heart. Three’s are scared to
death of feelings, why? They don’t always work out successfully. Number five, thank them specifically. I appreciate your hard work in this, I appreciate that you do this. Make them stop and pause and let them know that you appreciate, not just what they do but you appreciate them. Right? ‘Cause what’s the three’s fear? I don’t matter to you. All that matters is what I do for you, that’s the three’s relational fear. And if I’m no longer able
to produce the money I make, to produce the lifestyle that we live, no one will love me. And you’ve got to reassure
the three that you do. We love you not just the
lifestyle you provide or the entertainment that you give. You’re more than what you do. So, how do we pray for the three? Here’s the three’s prayer. God, help me to find success in you. Help me to strive for obedience
as I strive for success. I love this verse. May integrity and honesty protect me for I put my hope in you, God. Listen, if you’re a
three, you’re beautiful and you’re a gift to our church but your integrity must
match your intensity. You must close the gap
between your calling and your character and it
is a life long struggle because as a three, you
will do great things for God or for the devil. Your choice. My prayer is that you choose
to do great things for God. Let’s pray. Heavenly father, we thank you
for three’s, we love them. Lord, they change our lives, they make such incredible
differences in the world, God, they see things that we don’t see. God, I pray as they pursue success, Lord, that they would have a heart to pursue you over and above everything else. God, let them pursue obedience and God, match their integrity, Lord, with their ability. Pray this in Jesus’ name, amen. I love you so much,
Sandhills Church, God bless.

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Sneha Brigit Zachariah May 1, 2018 at 7:00 am


  • Reply Brian Morgan May 1, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    I Love this series Matt ! 🙏🏽 thank you.

  • Reply Jarmal Wilcox May 3, 2018 at 11:03 am

    Great message!

  • Reply rayjon68 May 3, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    I just wanna say Thank you Lord Jesus for Matt Brown for being real, and honest to us all. I have just started attending Sandels.
    Matt's realness has opened my eyes to how I have lied to myself even helping me realize sins in my life I didn't even know I had inside me. Matt you are the bravest man of God I know!!! But what I would change about you is NOTHING!
    Just keep being you! God bless all you believers. Let's all just be REAL with ourselves.

  • Reply BumbleBeeTF May 4, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Comment number six 🙁 I think I can be the first to comment next week 😉

  • Reply N H May 24, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    fk all 3s

  • Reply N H June 13, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    Sadan is 3.

  • Reply Andrea Theresia June 15, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    This is crazy. How GOD speaks sharply to me through Ps. Matt Brown. Thankful for his existence in this world & may God bless him with his ability to touch people's heart while he speaks life towards them.

  • Reply Ramsey Adam Clark June 20, 2018 at 7:59 am

    Jim Carrey is a 7, yeah?

  • Reply SIMONE June 25, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    This brought me to tears mixed with laughter lol. You nailed it for us number 3s🙏🏾😂

  • Reply Vanessa Ely July 5, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    This is so incredible! I looooooove this series. Watching from the Greater Chicago Area and sharing with more of my friends across the country who serve in their churches/homes/families. My husband is a 3×2, and I’m a 4×3. We recently discovered the Enneagram back in May, and I’m just discovering Sandals church and this series. Thank you Pastor for this.

  • Reply Selvy Junita Cendana July 15, 2018 at 10:56 am

    I am crying like a lot. Thank God to sent you into ourlife. It is so relieving.

  • Reply Jessica Fogel July 20, 2018 at 4:05 am

    Im a 3 so I'm saying this with grace… but do you realize that your joke about Mike Pence was an extremely 3 thing to do- you were name dropping. You found a way to mention this story that boosts your image… you met these famous people and were in the White House.

    But seriously good message. I loved thinking about the rich young ruler as a 3. I mean that story has always resonated with me but never realized why. And I have ALWAYS struggled with trying to "earn" my salvation. I never associated that with being a three (even though I've known my enneagram for years)

  • Reply Igor July 25, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    So you actually dat that Gehandi and Martin are in hell?

  • Reply tanealia wizzard August 6, 2018 at 5:59 am


  • Reply Caele1gh F September 19, 2018 at 10:29 am

    I just found out about enneagram, I am whole heartedly a three. I am laughing and crying and I feel like you are speaking right to me.

  • Reply Darryl Briscoe September 25, 2018 at 11:38 pm

    I found this while scrolling through youtube on my way home from work. Ive always look for ways to work on myself and better my self and after learning my mbti and enneagram, i always look to learn more. This was what i needed, i cried in the car

  • Reply Chloe Carlson October 24, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    This is everything I am. I feel like crying and laughing but honestly I have so much work to do, I will do the emotions later

  • Reply Malan Short November 11, 2018 at 6:58 am

    Minus 2 points for the long ass intro

  • Reply Celeste Wiberg November 21, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    Kudos for you!!! This needs to be exposed!!!! God bless for your courage!!!

  • Reply SpikeRukal January 4, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    I really appreciate this. I've been trying to figure out if I'm a 3 or an 8w7 and I remember yelling at my ex-wife the exact same thing you yelled through the door, exact. It hit me right in the heart. I'm still not sure which I am, because I like to think I have a very solid level of introspection and have no issues sharing or being vulnerable..but this at least helps me figure it all out. Thank you.

  • Reply Rachel at day2dayjoys February 9, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    Pastor Matt, my husband and I just took the enneagram test last night. We found out we’re exactly like you and your wife. He’s a 3 and I’m a 6. Do you have any resources to help us with this enneagram combo? I read that this is not a common pair but when healthy they can be a powerful couple. I just listened to the sermon on 3 and now I’m watching this. 💜

  • Reply echbbiejhrijedc February 14, 2019 at 4:12 am

    Imma 3 wing 2

  • Reply RockBridgeIsland February 18, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    For more information on where these types come from and why there are exactly 9 of them:

  • Reply Sharif Khan March 7, 2019 at 9:14 am

    I literally choked on air laughing so hard

  • Reply Pastor Personality March 23, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    I’m a 3w4 pastor. Great message!

  • Reply Chriso N March 30, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    Was just looking at enneagrams on Insta. Was about to research more about myself and was NOT expecting to see a whole sermon. Not gonna lie, I thought this was gonna be some motivational speech but Im actually here witth eyes opened — convicted and all. lol!! This was actually pretty good.

  • Reply Joseph Chen May 1, 2019 at 2:40 pm

    Some really poor generalizations in this series that don't allow for the numerous nuances that exist in each personality of the enneagram

  • Reply Esme Spring May 10, 2019 at 3:56 am

    As three as they get….:((.

  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:11 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:13 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:15 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:16 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:16 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:17 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:21 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:30 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:34 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:35 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:40 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 7:43 am


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 3:31 pm


  • Reply Rachel Fagan May 23, 2019 at 3:34 pm


  • Reply Ladies of Purpose TV June 14, 2019 at 1:54 pm

    I’ve been hearing Christians mention the enneagram & I just went to look it up and was shocked it has a pentagram/Wiccan/occult symbol then I researched more and found within seconds that it was founded by an occultist and its all for people to know their “truth” and to attract that. Good to hear this Pastor preaching scripture. I do pray Christians seek God’s word and not some occultist test. My biggest concern is for new believers that may not be able to discern truth from the devils schemes. They may think since so many Christian leaders say it’s okay to explore with the enneagram that they could be swayed into the Wiccan teachings.

  • Reply wishes June 21, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    yes my 3 husband has lost me and his girls.

  • Reply Matthew Mansfield July 15, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Left his threeness hanging out in that sermon…

  • Reply Celina Jones August 8, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    I’m a 3 and my husband and I CANNOT play uno together because the one time we did it ended in a very big fight because we grew up with different rules and I was losing because of “his” rules. 😂 My husband is a 5

  • Reply Victory Matthy Clips September 11, 2019 at 9:59 am

    Wow.. I'm a 2w3. There is so much truth in this

  • Reply Future Spence September 24, 2019 at 3:26 am

    Bro… we’ve been flying since before the flood

  • Reply edward verduzco October 6, 2019 at 6:15 am

    Shouldn't we strive to live as a new creation in Christ? To let the holy spirit guide us to be like Jesus? Scripture says that the new man will be nothing like the old man. The old man dies. Why must we be aware of our witchcraft personality number, when we as saved members of the body should be about our fathers business? Does God not empower his people to do things that are out of their natural fallen nature? Enneagram tests are a form of divination and should not be mingled with anything that belongs to God.

  • Leave a Reply