Hey! Hi. Shit. Fuck you, you fucking pig! Oh, no. Hello, hot stuff. Looks like third time’s the charm. How were those pickles? Real good. They were the fancy kind. Give me a lift? Where are you going? I’m going to Chatsworth. Chatsworth? You hitch up and down Burbank Boulevard all day
till someone says they’ll drive you to Chatsworth? Tourists love to drive me. I’m their favorite part
of their L.A. vacation. They’ll be telling stories about
the Hollywood hippie girl that they gave a ride to the movie ranch
for the rest of their lives. Wait, Spahn Movie Ranch? – Yeah. – That’s where you’re going?
Spahn Movie Ranch? Why you going there? I live there. – Alone?
– No. Me and my friends. So you and a bunch of friends like
you all live at Spahn Movie Ranch? Yeah. Well, hop in. I’ll take you there. Great! – Go down here and get on the Hollywood Freeway.
– I know where it is. Are you some old cowboy guy
that used to make movies there? What? I’m just surprised how accurate
that description of me really is. Some old cowboy guy that used
to shoot movies at Spahn Ranch. So you used to make Westerns at the ranch
back in the old-timey days? Well, if by “the old-timey days,”
you mean television eight years ago, yeah. Are you an actor? No, I’m a stuntman. You’re a stuntman. That’s way better. Why is that way better? Actors are phony. They just say lines that other people write and pretend to murder people
on their stupid TV shows. Meanwhile, real people are being murdered
every day in Vietnam. Want me to suck your cock while driving? How old are you? What? How old are you? Wow, man. That’s the first time anybody
asked that in a long time. What’s the answer? Okay. We gonna play kiddie games? Eighteen. Feel better? You got some ID, you know,
like a driver’s license or something? Are you joking? No, I’m not. I need to see something official that verifies that
you’re 18, which you don’t have because you’re not. Talk about a bring-down bummer, dude. That’s you. Yeah. Obviously, I’m not too young to fuck you. But obviously, you are too old to fuck me. What I’m too old to do
is go to jail for poontang. Prison’s been trying to get me
all my life. It ain’t got me yet. The day it does, it won’t be because of you. No offense.