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Can you be both INFJ and INFP?

October 7, 2019


– It would help if I
hit the record button. There we go. (laughs) Today’s video is brought to you today by the color bright red. So today’s topic is
going to be one (slurps) that I see a lot of. I get this question asked a lot, or people just say it
without asking the question. And I feel like it’s
gonna upset some people, me addressing it, even though
it’s the majority opinion, so I don’t know why it
should offend anyone. But, what I see a lot of
times is people saying, “Can you be two Myers-Briggs
personality types?” And because of my channel being INFJ, a lot of people are like,
“Can I be INFJ and INFP?” And some people, the people
who really get to me, the ones who make me wanna take a crowbar and throw it through my
computer monitor are like, “I’m an INFJ/P.” And maybe they mean, “I’m
not sure what I am yet,” but I think they actually
mean they think they’re so special that they
are a blend of the two. And the answer is, no
you cannot be two types. I am sorry, you can’t be! Just snap out of it! You can only be one type. Now this video is going to explain why. Now look, lemme first start off by saying, if you don’t wanna take
personality typing seriously, and look, I don’t take it that seriously, but I take it somewhat seriously. If we’re going to bother
looking at this at all, let’s look at it for what it says it is. But if you don’t wanna take it seriously, if this is just a fun thing for you, if this is like horoscope
in the newspaper, fortune cookie, fortune
cookie fortune, that’s right. If that’s what it is to you, sure, you can be as many personality
types as you wanna be. I don’t care. But if you wanna take
this somewhat seriously and like get something out of it, you can’t think that you’re
two personality types. The other thing I see a lot is, “Can I change personality
types over time?” The answer to that is also no, you can’t. I’m sorry, I know that you want to develop into a, you know, ENFP
’cause they have more fun than INFJs do, but you can’t. This video’s gonna be
about why you can’t be two, why people think that you can be two, and how even as you develop as a person, that doesn’t mean you’re changing into another personality type. And I’m sorry to be so belligerent. The thing is, though,
anyone who is serious about personality typing and Myers-Briggs, go to any of them, go to Personality Hacker,
go to Stellar Maze, go to Objective Personality
and say to them, “I think I can be two
personality types,” or “I think my personality
type changes over time,” they will laugh in your face. That’s how ridiculous it is, okay? I feel like this is a long
intro to a video. (laughs) Why people think you can be two types or why you can switch
between types as you age or whatever (pours drink). First let me pour… some diet brown into my cup here. Part of the reason that
this misconception exists is because of a, it’s the
fault of Myers-Briggs. Is that, well it’s also
the fault of you all, but, the perceiver of it
is that it kind of gives this false impression
that when you are a type you are stuck in this very strict box and that there’s no overlap
between the boxes, you know. And that’s what the stupid like Vox video and everything says is like, “Myers-Briggs wants to put you
in these boxes I or E, T or F and the thing is people
just aren’t like that.” And it’s like, yeah, but that’s not really what
the system is trying to say. It’s saying, “What do you kind
of perfer? One or the Other” and plus the letters don’t
really matter that much. Well, I mean, they matter
but the functions matter more than the letters. The letter is a code to tell
you what the functions are. That’s a whole nother video entirely, but that’s the first problem is that you get this false, this idea
of these false dichotomies. If you are an I type that
doesn’t mean that you are shy necessarily, it just means
that you’re first function is introverted. You could a really extroverted person and still be an I type. Just because you are a T type
doesn’t mean that you are a mathematician, you could be a poet and you didn’t even know it. The other ting is the test, if
you take the test many times you might get different results and it seems like most people do and that gives you the false impression that you change over time because you answer the questions differently, but the test is flawed. So, just because on one day you get 60% F and then on the next
day, or two weeks later, or whatever, you get 55% T, does that mean you suddenly
switched personality types? No, it just meant that on one
day you answered the questions one way and then on another
day you answered questions the other day. The test isn’t measuring your
personality type fluctuation. Especially with INFJ and INFP,
I think the problem comes up because it’s really easy to
fluctuate between J and P on those tests and a lot of people don’t
understand that the J vs the P isn’t like it’s own separate thing, it’s not it’s own separate dichotomy, and I think that’s actually
the biggest flaw of the test is the J vs P dichotomy
’cause it’s just not, it’s not accurate for every type. Ultimately, I think what it comes down to is people, if you get
too far into Myers-Briggs too quickly, you begin to
think like different types are different species or something. It’s like their not,
we’re not that different. We have more in common as human beings than we have different because
of our personality types. Personality type differences,
yes, they’re very real, but it doesn’t mean that like suddenly I can’t relate
to you on any level because we have different
personality types. Like you’re still gonna
find a lot in common, you’re gonna have a lot
of the same strengths and weaknesses as people
of totally different types, you’re gonna have recurring
things in your lives that are just part of being a human being. And so, you have to really
know what to look for in the differences between the types, because I feel like a lot
of people just anecdotally think like, “An INFJ would never do this, an INFP would never do this and if you do one of those
things you’re not that type” or you know, “An INTJ always does this” and it’s like whoa whoa, there’s no always, there’s no never, stop using that words, stop using that words when you
talking about Myers-Briggs. You can have elements
of your personality type that mimic other personality types. So for instance, like a
traditional INFJ has within them a miniature EJ within
them, a miniature ENFJ because we have the same functions but we are imbalanced in a
different way than they are, it’s difficult to explain
right now but just trust me, it makes sense. So you have like these sub
personalities within you, you still just whatever
personality type you are but, there are dynamics of
your functions that kind of mirror or mimic the dynamics
of functions in other types, which is why it can seem
like, “Oh maybe I’m two types” but you’re not. I don’t know how to segue into it, so why don’t we take a
quick commercial break. (bouncy music) – [Timmy] Hey check me
out, I’m Two Type Timmy. I’ve got two personality
types ’cause I’m so special. Yeah, I’m Two Type Timmy,
yeah look at me go. I’ve got, I’m INFJ and I’m INTJ, yeah. Oh crap, who are you? – [Thurman] Hey, I’m Three Type Thurman. I’ve got three personality types, check me out I’m really cool. I’m hoppin’ on one leg ’cause
(laughs) I’m really cool. – [Timmy] No, I wanna be cool, why aren’t we even looking at each other. – [Thurman] I don’t know.
This is pretty dumb. Check me out, I’m goin’ up this hill. – [Timmy] Bye Three Type Thurman. – Thanks for sitting through that. The other thing is there’s
a lot of different types of each personality type, like it’s not just you’re an INFP, so you’re exactly like
all the other INFPs. It’s not like that. So imagine… imagine this excellent analogy. You’re in the grocery store
down your favorite aisle, the soda pop aisle, and, or the Coke aisle if you live in the South, that’s what they would probably call it. You have your Cokes on one side and your Pepsis on the other side, that’s like the INFJs and
the INFPs for example, you’re never gonna find a
can that says Coke Pepsi. Their, their (laughs) You can’t have two of the same in one can. They’re both brown, they’re
both fizzy, they’re both sweet, they’re both in a can but
they’re not the same thing, they’re two totally
different things, okay? Do you follow me so far? Now, here’s the other thing is that, within all the Cokes there’s
like 10 different Cokes. You’ve got Coca Cola Classic, Diet Coke, my favorite Coke Zero,
you have Cherry Coke, you have Vanilla Coke, all kinds of stuff, there’s all these variations
but it’s all Coke. In that way, you have a
bunch of different variations of what an INFJ could look like and they might seem different
but they’re all INFJs. Do you see what I’m sayin’ playa? You might have a Cherry
Coke and a Cherry Pepsi, they might seem to be the
same ’cause they have cherry but they’re not, they’re
two different things. And so, as you grow older, gain experience and prove yourself, some people have said, some of my commenters have said, “I think you can change
types as you get older and as you work on stuff” and I see where you’re going,
like it’s not totally crazy, like an INFJ is gonna want to work on their Extroverted Sensing,
their Inferior Function and that’s what every
type should be doing. You should be looking at
what’s your Inferior Function, and working on that, getting better at it. So say you are middle aged and you’re a self improvement guru and you’ve worked on
your Extroverted Sensing as an INFJ to the point where
you’re really good at it, so suddenly does that mean you’re Extroverted Sensing dominant, does that mean all the
sudden that you’re actually an ESTP, that you’ve flipped
your personality type? Or maybe it’s less dramatic,
let’s say over time you focus less on your feeling
and more on your rationality, your thoughts, did you all the
sudden change into an INTJ? No you didn’t, you are just
an INFJ who got really good at his or her Inferior Function. Because no matter what you do, no matter how good you get
at that demon function, it’s still your demon, it’s
not your savior function and you can totally concur
it and be a master of it, but it doesn’t, you weren’t born that way, you weren’t born like
an ESP who had it first and it’s not natural for you. You had to work at it to get there. Let’s say for example, you
join the Blue Man Group and you paint your face blue and let’s say that
there’s a race of people who actually are born with blue skin, just because you got really good at putting paint on yourself to look blue and everyone believes that your blue, you’re not like the
person who was born blue. You know what I’m sayin’? This is not a perfect analogy, but that’s where my mind went first. Blue Man Group is a very
good show by the way, if you ever have a chance
to see it, go, just do it. Anyway, I don’t know where that came from. So, the whole goal of the
Myers-Briggs personality typing, from my perspective is, to see what your demon functions are. So for INFJs, that is
typically TI and especially SE, and so you need to focus on that and become good at it and become balanced so that you’re no longer just living in the Introverted Intuition
world all the time. Ultimately, if everyone like
really improved themselves and became balanced, everyone
would kind of have the same ability in their function stack, but you’re Inferior Function, even if you learn how
to use it really well, it’s never gonna be your natural function, it’s never gonna be
your dominant function, gimme a break. (laughs) Like can we get real here? I think more likely you, as you grow, maybe you realize that you’ve
been wrong about your type, and that, ’cause it’s very difficult to see your dominant function, if not impossible. Perhaps there’s just this illusion that you’re changing type
as you’re discovering more about yourself and you’ve really just been
the same type all along. The thing is, you’re
function stack really affects your life and like the
patterns in your life, and the things that you ignore, and then the things that
pile up and cause hell. The H-E double toothpicks to you. See I’m gettin’ edgy, guys. An INFJ is always gonna have
really bad recurring problems relating to Extroverted Sensing, even if you become good at it, that’s what your Achilles
heel is gonna be. Meanwhile, someone who is SE dominant, is never gonna have problems
coming from Extroverted Sensing it’s always gonna be from
Introverted Intuition. And INFJs are never gonna
really have problems stemming from that, except
when they overestimate their abilities, which is kinda rare because hey, that’s where
we are all the time. And that’s, I think this
is also why it’s important to just acknowledge you are
one type, only one type. You’re that type forever, because, it defeats the whole purpose if all the sudden you’re two types, or you switched types, then suddenly you have
a really different thing to work on in life. Like I, am pretty sure, from what I’m learning, once you find out your type, you can kinda predict all the problems you’re gonna have in life and you can look back and
you can see in your life, oh man I’ve had all these
problems that are basically stuff that happened that I caused because I am this personality type. And if you’re gonna make this absurd thing that I’m INFJ and INFP, suddenly where are your
problems coming from, from both of those personality types? I don’t see how it’s
possible, you have to be, you gotta pick, you’ve
gotta pick one or the other. I mean it’s not really so
much you picking either, it’s like you are one or the other. And it’s good to figure that out because then you can see where
are my problems in life? Where is it my fault that
I’m causing these problems because I am neglecting
my Inferior Function and relying too much on
my dominant function? That’s really why you need to, if you think you can be two types you need to drop it ’cause
it’s not gonna help you. It’s gonna be detrimental to you. Now if you think you are two types, I think that’s a sign that
maybe you kind of have an idea that you’re one or the other and I think you just
need to search your soul and ask your friends and
family what they think. And, you know, consult a professional and pick which one you think is you. Okay, so going forward, so
many people ask me about INFJ vs INFP that I think I
need to make a video series about it. So this is the first one to
just clear up you can’t be both. So, I don’t know how
regularly I’m gonna do it. Maybe once a week, maybe
every other week, I don’t know but I’m gonna start making
videos about INFJ vs INFP. There’s some of the differences,
how you can tell maybe, and hopefully that can clear things up. And it’s not gonna be an easy series, ’cause I’m not just gonna say, “Oh INFJs are good at this,
and INFPs are good at that” that is gonna be a waste of our time. I’m gonna be like, “INFJs are
bad people for these reasons, INFPs are bad people for these reasons” (laughs) not that you’re bad, but
these are your weaknesses, this is where you’re screwin’ up and maybe through that
it will be easier to see because so many times when it’s like, “INFPs are so nice, and
INFJs are also really nice”, it’s like how do I tell
the difference man? Maybe the best thing is to
just say all the bad stuff and then when you feel more embarrassed then maybe that’s your type. Thanks so much for
watching, I appreciate it. Leave a like if you’d be so kind and I’ll see you here again real soon, probably like Friday or somethin’. ‘Til then stay cool and attractive.

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