Articles, Blog

Best Laid Plans… | Critical Role RPG Show Episode 50

November 30, 2019

MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s
episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
Dungeons and Dragons, roll dice, and stuff. Tonight is a special episode; it’s a special 50th
episode. We’ve made 50 of these! To kick off the evening’s festivities before the game, we want to
show our first big present to you guys, something we’ve been working on for about a little over a
month. We hope you guys enjoy it. Let’s go ahead and have a look at the new full intro for Critical
Role. [dramatic music] MATT: And welcome back, guys! (cheering) MATT: That was fun! We’ve been silently working on
that for a long time. MARISHA: It was so hard to keep secret. MATT: I know. Every edit that came in was awesome.
Yeah, we all went together in Simi Valley for a day and shot, and did wonderful photos, which we
actually have wallpaper going up tonight! LAURA: That is correct. It’ll be going up very
soon. MARISHA: I guess I could go right– LAURA: Do it now, he just said it! LIAM: We’re doing it live! We’re doing it live. SAM: We’re releasing a special 50th episode
wallpaper all for you guys to use on your home PCs. MARISHA: On the Critical Role Twitter and Facebook
right now. SAM: Download it! MATT: There you go. MARISHA: Download it, @criticalrole. LIAM: Good, pressure’s off. MARISHA: It’s done. MATT: It’s all over. Episode’s over. No, thank you
guys for coming tonight. Hope you enjoyed that. We have some really awesome people that helped out
with that. I’m going to go ahead and get some thank-yous here. We have, first off, a big thank
you to Jan-Michael Losada, our DP for that shoot; Pamela Joy who did all the incredible photography, and
Loretta Richert, both of them helped us find and secure the location and shot an incredible series of
photos that we’ll be using in upcoming episode releases and promotional stuff! So check that out.
You guys have been amazing, thank you so much. Next up, I want to go ahead and thank Dave and
James Codeglia who are from Ghostlight. They did all the special effects you see as well as the
color grading and the editing. They did a phenomenal job on this, and big thanks to you
guys. It’s far more than I ever expected it could be. Ghostlight is awesome. TRAVIS: Are we cutting to that title camera so
they can see the addresses? MATT: Yeah. For makeup we want to thank Misti
Dawn, Talor Bianca Appice, and Heather Galipo, they did an amazing job. And Travis, of course,
for sitting in the makeup chair for a long time. TRAVIS: It was cold (laughs). It was real cold. MARISHA: Four hours! Specifically, Misti did a lot
of our beauty makeup, Bianca did Travis, and Heather did all of our ears. Because ears take a
lot of time! MATT: You guys did an amazing job. Next up, for
our illustrious costumers, we have Jessica Dru, who did an amazing job, Jessica Dru Johnson for
selling me the costumes, Vanessa Walton, who made your wonderful headpiece– MARISHA: Yes, and she has an Etsy store, actually:
Creature of Habit on Etsy. So follow her on Instagram and of course you can go– she makes all
these amazing flower crowns; she’s basically a real-life faerie. TALIESIN: It’s a magical Instagram. MARISHA: It is a magical Instagram, Creature of
Habit. MATT: Check that out. And of course Bryan Forrest
for both applying a lot of the armor to Pike and a lot of individuals here. He brought a lot of the great
costume pieces and armor, and was one of our illustrious goblins; he got killed as two
different goblins! Took two arrows, one in the face, one in the chest. A great stuntman, Bryan,
thank you so much for helping out with that. MARISHA: Thank you Bryan, we love you! MATT: Jon Enge who was our special effects
supervisor on set and was the goblin who got stabbed in the back. He was amazing. MARISHA: And he’s got a youtube channel, Mars
Rising, which is great. And I did a Splinter Cell guards sketch that I did with him a while ago TALIESIN: He and I used to perform at the Ren
Faire together, it was a thing. MARISHA: Oh! That’s awesome; Jon’s awesome. Go
check his stuff out. LIAM: You worked at Ren Faire? TALIESIN: Oh, shut up. Suck it. TRAVIS: Lord Taliesin! MATT: Of course, Jason Charles Miller, who’s a
friend of the show, who’s been on the show as Garthok the half-orc rogue, did the new theme, as
well as the old one, but he re-upped for the new theme, extending it and making it that much more
epic. Thank you so much. And Geoff Bisente did a lot of the sound design on it as well. You guys
kicked ass on making it sound as good as it did. Check out their stuff, they’re amazing. I think
Jason should have the actual new song up on iTunes soon in case you want it for a ringtone or
something. And last but certainly not least, we have Avery Faeth, who did the amazing Percy
costume. TALIESIN: My coat! She’s an amazing coat designer.
She’s got a– MARISHA: She’s a coat designer. TALIESIN: She did the coat, she’s an amazing
cosplayer and costume designer and you can find her on Sickhorse all over the place. MATT: And Kai Norman, who you’ve seen on the show,
he actually did our casts of the K’Varn horn, and his incredible work. He did Percy’s gun. He did a
number of the props we used for it, he’s great. You can find him at @KommissarProps. Additional
costuming done by Anne Valiant, who did an amazing job helping us out getting the costume pieces we
needed for it. As well, a big shout-out to Labyrinth of Jared at Masquerade Ball who also
helped provide a lot of the costumes for the shoot, and Sword and the Stone who helped provide
a lot of the weaponry and armor, along with Bryan. So thank you guys, all of you so much, for helping make
this happen. We’re really excited and we hope you liked it! TRAVIS: Can you put the first one up again,
because we didn’t get the Pamela Joy title– yeah. It’s the only one we missed. They were so
instrumental and did such a lovely job. LAURA: Yeah they did! MARISHA: And Pam did the photo of the wallpaper. LAURA: She’s actually shot all of our photos from
the very beginning. She’s freaking amazing. TRAVIS: We have so much, you guys, so much. MARISHA: Go follow her on Instagram! She’s great. MATT: All right. So getting into our actual
announcements here, try and cruise through this as fast as possible. SAM: It’s our special episode; I thought everyone
was dressing up. LAURA: We’re all wearing our shirts MARISHA: You’re appropriate for Scanlan. SAM: You all look like shit! LIAM: Sam, can I show you my snake? (oohing and aahing) TRAVIS: Bigger than I thought it’d be! MATT: Strangely, he lost it for a few sessions. LIAM: This too shall pass. MATT: All right, so: 50th episode, guys! (cheering) MATT: Can’t believe we made it this far! And more
to come. 50 more! Hopefully. LIAM: Hey look! Ashley’s here! ASHLEY: Hey! I just landed. Not landed in a plane,
but just drove in. MATT: Drove all across the country, from New
York. ASHLEY: From, yes. Drove in from New York. LAURA: So what does that mean, Ashley? ASHLEY: I’m here for a little while. (cheering) MARISHA: She’s back! ASHLEY: I’m back for a little bit. TRAVIS: Yay, Pike! ASHLEY: Probably for a couple months, a few
months, we’ll see. We’re pushing it for a few months. MARISHA: That sounds better. ASHLEY: I’m excited and I’m nervous, but I’m
excited. TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Yeah. MATT: I’m so glad you could join us, and welcome
back, Ashley. ASHLEY: Thanks. Thank you. MATT: Also tonight we’re putting up for the next
two weeks on pre-order a brand new set of “How Do You Want To Do This” hoodies, which I’m wearing
here. LAURA: It’s Alternative Apparel and it’s
super-duper-super-duper cozy inside. TRAVIS: Look at that! Look at that. ASHLEY: That’s so softy-puffy. MARISHA: They’re super soft. LAURA: You could use it as a pillow, you could use it
as a hoodie. ASHLEY: You could wear it on a plane. SAM: Where are all the other places they could
wear it? ASHLEY: On a train. LAURA: Dinner, you could wear it to dinner. TALIESIN: You could wear it in a boat! SAM: With a goat? TALIESIN: You could put it on a goat. MARISHA: To Big Lots. TALIESIN: At work or on the go. LIAM: Keep this going all night long. MATT: Two hours. SAM: It’s this content that you’ve demanded. (laughter) MATT: So yeah, these are up on the store, or
should be, and will be up for pre-order for the next two weeks. If you want one, get one! Because they’re
cool. I like them. TRAVIS: Yeah, we all have one. MATT: Indeed. All right, next up, Critmas is
tonight. So we got that coming up after the show. LAURA: Just a few packages. MARISHA: Yeah, just a few cartloads MATT: We’re going to do our best to keep it as
organized and as expedient as possible so we can get to bed at a decent hour, especially those of
us who have like 8:00am call times in the morning. Travis. TRAVIS: I’m going to stay as long as I can. MATT: (laughs) But yeah, so stick around for that.
You get to watch us all cry forever, because that’s what happens every time. TRAVIS: Cry forever. MATT: A couple other announcements: has here on
the list “posters.” TRAVIS, LIAM, and SAM: Posters? MATT: Posters. Somebody must’ve put that on the
list. LIAM: Maybe later. SAM: What’s a poster? LIAM: There’s four of them on a bed. MATT: There you go, that makes sense. TALIESIN: If somebody says they’re one thing but
really they’re just not all that. MATT: That makes sense. Quick announcement, an
event coming up: a convention on May 26 to 29 in Atlanta called MomoCon. I will be a guest at that,
so all you east coast folks around Atlanta come say hello! I have panels, and talks, and
autographs to give, and cool artwork you can pick up. So yeah, MomoCon, May 26-29, hope to see you
guys there. Me and Marisha are both announced to be guests at the Haven Expo in Mackay, Australia
on July 2nd, so all you folks in the outback, you’ll want to come hang out with me and Marisha
at the beginning of July. ASHLEY: (Australian accent) In the outback! MATT: Just like that. ASHLEY: (accented) Going to get a bloomin’ onion? MATT: I’m so sorry. LAURA: I’m sure they’re really thrilled about
that. MATT: She’s back for ten minutes, guys. ASHLEY: I know a lot of Australians. SAM: You’ve already offended an entire continent. MATT: You and Johnny Depp in the same week, come
on. So yeah, hopefully we’re looking forward to seeing a bunch of you guys down under at the
beginning of July. Let’s see, reveal secret Scientology message and ascend to Xenu, that’s on
the list. We got that one situated. TALIESIN: Who put this one together? MATT: Rat Queens! The next Rat Queens issue coming
up. 16, I guess? Issue 16 is the number? Has a series of pages in which all of Vox Machina have a
wonderful cameo. SAM: It’s amazing. We’re in a comic book. We did
it. TALIESIN: Has that not publicly been seen yet, is
that not out yet? SAM: Some pictures have been, but not all of it. MARISHA: We have transcended, you guys. TALIESIN: We are fiction now. ASHLEY: That’s so crazy. MATT: Yeah. Isn’t it? One more thing I want to
mention: a really great game called Masquerada; I play the lead character, Cicero Gavar. It’s been
developed by a great studio named Witching Hour. They put up a Kickstarter today to see if they can
make the game as good as it possibly can be– that final push. As an independent/indie studio and an
indie product, they’re putting out a phenomenal isometric RPG. Great voice talent that includes
Jennifer Hale, Dave Fennoy, it’s a great cast. Check it out on Kickstarter if it’s something you
think you’d be interested in, and possibly helping them polish it and make it phenomenal. So check
that out. Anything else you guys want to announce? LIAM: Yeah! Can I get a CritRole? ALL: CritRole! LIAM: Boy, I always love sitting at the table with
my dice and having a nice cozy wooden box to keep my dice in. Wyrmwood Gaming makes all kinds of
wooden boxes to hold your dice in. We have them here, we have all kinds. There’s these, there’s
these– they hold dice! SAM: Those seem really remarkable, Liam. ASHLEY: Wait, what is this one? SAM: Is there anything any bigger? LIAM: In due time. LIAM: Wyrmwood Gaming, you know them already
because we talk about them non-stop, friend of the show. If you use the code CritRole, you’ll get
free shipping. Also Wyrmwood Gaming has a kickstarter up this month for their Sentinel box,
which holds– ALL: Ooh! ASHLEY: What is this? LIAM: It holds your cards, it holds your dice,
there’s a bluetooth doohickey in it so you’ll never lose your box with dice and cards. And you
can get all kinds of woods, there’s all kinds of tiers, you can get the Critical Role logo etched
into any kind of box that they have. And if you want to go full wizard you can get the shnazzy
Masterworks box, did I get that right? LAURA: It is masterworks. ASHLEY: I want that one! TRAVIS: I think that’s one of the Vestiges. LIAM: So, check it out. Wyrmwood Gaming, they got
a Kickstarter, they got a website. They’re our good buddies. MATT: All right. So, anything else anyone wants to
talk about or mention? MARISHA: I mean. MATT: Because if not, I think we may have to watch
that intro again. (cheering) TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, do it again! Do that shit
again, please! MATT: Let’s watch that intro again. [dramatic music] MATT: And welcome back. I remember writing the
script for that and going, “We’re going to have to cut all this.” And then we didn’t. I’m so happy
how it turned out. MARISHA: Mainly because we ran out of time. MATT: Like, “Well, we got to do it. Make it
work.” TALIESIN: “There’s no time to do anything else,
other than this.” MATT: “We can’t cut the tentacle creature. I don’t
know how we’ll do it, but it’s in there.” Let’s go ahead and bring us back into the realm of Exandria
and catch us up to what happened last time. Vox Machina, a group of adventurers currently on the
path to try and usurp and destroy the Chroma Conclave, a collection of chromatic dragons that
have torn through Tal’Dorei and currently reign supreme over the partially ruined cities that dot
the landscape. The largest of them, and apparently the leader, Thordak the Cinder King sitting in the
main city of Emon, forcing you guys to flee. You’ve gone about and discovered these artifacts,
these legendary items known as the Vestiges of Divergence. Ancient magical weapons and equipment
from the last great war, the Divergence. And these seem to be a key in which you can ascertain a
level of power and a means of destroying these creatures. Upon seeking information about these,
you traveled south to the Frostweald, where you battled a camp of orcs, freeing survivors from
Westruun’s attack, and managed to walk your way into the deep den of a forgotten Ioun temple where
Osysa, the sphinx’s mate, resides. After traversing past traps and puzzles you made your
way to the main chamber in which the nameless sphinx demanded you reveal that you have earned
its name. During this battle you traveled through portals to other elemental realms to seek out the
information to hopefully devise the title of this sphinx before it was too late. During which, Grog
leapt through, if I recall, one of these portals into the Elemental Plane of Air. Set adrift
without a means of returning, he took his Chain of Returning, attached it to Craven Edge, and threw
it through the portal. It found purchase and you pulled yourself through, face-to-face with Pike,
with the blade embedded in her abdomen. The weapon, which had achieved its maximum strength
potential of devouring the essence of others, transformed during this battle and has been in its
rather intense and dangerous form since. You guys managed to piece together the name of this sphinx,
at which point the battle ended and it presented to you the information you required. It gave you the
information of the Vestiges that still exist, to its knowledge, and you were escorted via immediate
sandstorm out of the temple and now stand at the edge of the Stormcrest Mountains and the
Frostweald Forest itself. So. You all take a moment to gather your thoughts, think over what
just transpired, and think on your next course of action. LAURA: Well, I want that bow. (laughs) MARISHA: I heard a few things that seemed very
desireable. LIAM: How is Pike? SAM: Yeah, Pike, are you alive? ASHLEY: I– yes. (laughter) LAURA: He healed us all up before we left, right? ASHLEY: He healed us. Yes, I’m fine! I’m fine. MATT: Well, not completely, you guys healed from a
couple of spells that were cast at the time, but you haven’t had a rest. MARISHA: But some of us are still older, right? MATT: Indeed. LIAM: Is your stomach closed? LAURA: Yeah? MATT: You go and inspect the armor itself, the
plates that separated and scraped from the impact of Craven Edge’s blade. The wound itself seems to
have at least stopped bleeding as part of the healing magic and the wound has closed, though
you’re still in a relatively damaged state post-battle. You guys haven’t had really a moment
to recover and heal what you could. She seems to be okay. There’s still that lingering sweat from
the stress and the impact of the blade, but nothing seems to be mortally endangered about her
current state. LIAM: Do you need a moment, do you need to speak
to Sarenrae? ASHLEY: I think I’m okay. Do I know what hit
points I’m at? MATT: Yes. You’re at 63. ASHLEY: I’m doing okay. LAURA: What time is it? MATT: Right now, from the time it took you guys to
go through the temple and the strangeness that is the shift of time around the temple, it’s probably
mid-day. Pretty much the same time you entered the temple. MARISHA: Weird. TRAVIS: I’m really sorry about that. ASHLEY: Hey, it’s okay, Grog. I know you didn’t
mean to. TRAVIS: No. No, I didn’t. I was floating away, you
should’ve seen the inside. It was wind everywhere. ASHLEY: It sounds pretty crazy. TRAVIS: Yeah. And I was like, what would my buddy Pike
do? She would take the sword and attach the chain to it and throw it through the door! And then you
were there! ASHLEY: It’s okay, Grog! I’ll be fine. TRAVIS: Yeah, but you’re my best buddy! ASHLEY: Oh, Grog. TRAVIS: Do you want one of my healing potions, are
you sure you’re all right? ASHLEY: I’m going to be okay, I’m going to be
okay. I think if we just– (laughs) I’m excited to see you guys. (laughter) ASHLEY: I’m going to be okay, I’m going to be
okay. TRAVIS: Yeah! ASHLEY: Are we taking a rest? I don’t know how
many– LAURA: It’s mid-day! TALIESIN: I think a short rest would not be a bad
idea. MARISHA: I don’t think this is actually the time
of day, I don’t think nature works the same around this temple. TRAVIS: What do you mean? It’s magic time of day? MARISHA: Kind of, but it’s always magic time of
day. LAURA: So maybe we should hang out in the mouth of
the cave and take a short rest MARISHA: I’m all right with that. LAURA: Yes? ASHLEY: I would be okay with that. MATT: Ashley, you’ve used a 5th-level spell. How
many 4th-level spells do you have, because you used two I believe? ASHLEY: Three 4th-level. MATT: So you have one left. LAURA: Maybe we should take a long rest. MARISHA: We could try and hoof it home. TALIESIN: I think we start moving in that
direction and when nightfall comes we make camp. TRAVIS: Towards the campsite? LAURA: Unless I was healed, and I don’t remember
being healed, I’m at 11 health points. So I’m feeling a little sore. ASHLEY: Oh gosh! SAM: He only healed a couple of us. MARISHA: I thought she was the one that he– LAURA: He healed me back to my age. MATT: Yeah, the aging effect was restored, but
only to her. The rest of you are still aged up based on the effect of the lair of the sphinx. MARISHA: That’s something we’re going to have to
Restoration away. TRAVIS: Please, I’m handsome as fuck right now,
come on. LAURA: Did you get aged? TRAVIS: Like a fine wine. Yeah, I got aged. ASHLEY: Can you do Greater Restoration on a
group? MATT: No, on an individual each time. ASHLEY: Who is the oldest? TRAVIS: Well, she was. LAURA: I was and he healed me. LIAM: Typically Scanlan is the oldest, but I’ve
been aged the most maybe. LAURA: He’s really fucking old right now. Look at
all those wrinkles. ASHLEY: How old are you? LAURA: His ears are starting to droop! MATT: If I recall, you aged close to roughly 20 to
25 years. ASHLEY: You look like a fine wine, you just got
better with age. LIAM: I knew that this was coming, I just thought
I had more years until it happened. ASHLEY: They gray looks great on you, the salt and
pepper hair. MARISHA: You should really look at this as a nice
peek into the future. It’s not bad. LIAM: Yeah, so– ASHLEY: Would you like to be younger? TRAVIS: Young again? ASHLEY: Would you like to be young again? LIAM: It’s probably a good idea. LAURA: Are you sure you want to do it,
Pike, are you sure? LIAM: You could do it tomorrow, could you take
care of my sister first, Pike? ASHLEY: Yes. We need to get you into better order,
okay? All right, where we at here? TRAVIS: Oh, I don’t cast that. LIAM: Give her the works. MARISHA: So, we are taking a short rest? I’m going
to burn a couple of hit dice. LAURA: Shorty rest and then we’ll walk. MATT: Everyone taking a short rest? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: Yes? TRAVIS: (emphatically) Yes. ASHLEY: I’m going to heal her up. LAURA: I mean, I could roll my own hit dice. ASHLEY: No, no, it’s my job. TRAVIS: So I lose all the buffs, right? MATT: Here’s what happens. So as you guys are
taking a rest, you step a little bit away from the group, sit down and hold the blade. Chain’s still
attached across your lap. Just look down at it and you can see it’s still pulsing with the power of
all the life energy that it’d taken before. And as you take a moment, see to your wounds, relax,
recover from the intense rage and all the emotional pain that’s transpired here, the blade
begins to shrink. You hear the slight crackle (squeal) as the metal begins to creak and pull
backward, all the jagged edges pulling into the central singular curved blade at the front of it.
As it hits, it seems to almost shrink slightly smaller than it was before and the metal creaks
for a second and a voice in your head goes, (breathes heavily) “Hungry–” Make a constitution
saving throw. SAM: Oh shit. Now it’s going to steal his
strength. TRAVIS: Natural 20. MARISHA: What? LIAM: Eat it, sword. MATT: For but a moment, you sense a very similar
feeling, one that– it’s been really since the battle with K’Varn when all of the light in the
world vanished for a second and darkness took your consciousness, and that same cold sensation starts
to stem from the blade itself like it’s actually trying to pull you into it, and you resist it. And
you stand there and look at the blade and it just– in comparison to its larger form, it looks
small. It’s the same size it was since you originally got it, but you look at it there in
this long, still silence as you try and conjecture what just transpired. And in that silence you hear
the voice once again go, “Feed. Now.” TRAVIS: I don’t have anything to feed you. MATT: “Find something.” TRAVIS: (exhales) All right, all right, all right.
What? LAURA: Who you talking to, Grog? TRAVIS: I’m so hungry. My stomach’s rumbling. SAM: Don’t we have our cold pack of food? MARISHA: We do and we have some boar meat. LAURA: Yeah, sure. ASHLEY: Or some chicken? LAURA: Yeah I did, I think I did take quite a bit
of chicken. SAM: Love me some chicken. MATT: As you open the freezer chest there’s a
(poof) of chicken-scented smoke and mist that vanishes. LAURA: Aw, the chicken, we can’t take it. That’s
okay, I’ve got boar meat. Do you want to feed your stomach the boar meat? TRAVIS: What? My stomach? ASHLEY: Yeah, are you hungry? TRAVIS: Yeah, I would not turn down some delicious
boar. LAURA: I’ll mark it down to half the boar meat is
gone now, you guys. SAM: Wow, he’s a big eater. That was a lot. That
was a whole boar. LAURA: Well, he’s a big guy. LIAM: You’re a good hunter, though, it’s not
really– LAURA: That’s right. Well? TALIESIN: We can find some more boar if we have
to. SAM: If we’re rested, are we going to set off
again? MATT: You guys can use your hit dice if you want
to, to heal up. TRAVIS: Do I get a level of exhaustion back or no?
Long rest? MATT: No, long rest for your exhaustion. TRAVIS: Fuck! ASHLEY: So short rest means– LIAM: That sword is an asshole. SAM: Be honest. TRAVIS: That should’ve been at disadvantage. TALIESIN: Yeah, should’ve been at disadvantage. MATT: Roll again. MARISHA: Oh fuck! No! TALIESIN: Do it! LAURA: You have to roll again? SAM: He’s exhausted. ASHLEY: Fuck! MARISHA: No! You’re lying! SAM: What is it? TALIESIN: It’s a one. He rolled a one. LIAM: (high-pitched) What are the odds? TRAVIS: 5% both times. LIAM: Everybody roll for initiative LAURA: No joke, though! MATT: As you guys finish your rest, and you’re all
gathering the next stage of your advancement, you watch as Grog stands up and starts walking into
the snow of the forest with the blade out, topples and falls to one knee, then falls face-first in
the snow. SAM: (yells) ASHLEY: Grog? I run over to him. LAURA: We all run out. SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. MATT: He’s still, he’s cold, there are no signs of
life. LIAM: Roll him over, roll him over! Grog! LAURA: I slap him across the face. LIAM: Yeah. Punch him across the face. Grog!
Pike? SAM: Heal, heal, heal! ASHLEY: I grab the sword and I take it off of
his– away from him, off of his person. MATT: Okay, you pull the blade and you take it and
you shove it off, and the chain’s still attached to the side of his arm. You have to pull– make a
strength check. LIAM: Use those gauntlets. LAURA: Oh yeah, 19! ASHLEY: What do I– roll the 20? MATT: And add four to it. ASHLEY: 11? MATT: 11, that’s enough. You (clink) and you pull
the chain off the side of his forearm, toss the blade and it (scrapes) skids to a stop in the
snow, cutting a shallow swath through the little bit of the embankment. Grog’s still rolled on his
back, eyes just dead, lifeless. ASHLEY: Okay. MARISHA: Pike is it the sword, is it the sword? ASHLEY: I feel like it’s the sword, I mean we all
know that sword has been weird. LAURA: Can you Greater Restoration him? ASHLEY: Yes, I’ll Greater Restoration on Grog. MARISHA: While she does Greater Restoration, I
want to go over and– LIAM: Break it. LAURA: Don’t break it! MARISHA: — grab the sword and see– yeah,
actually, can I do like a– SAM: Don’t– MARISHA: What? SAM: Don’t break it. MARISHA: Why not?! SAM: His soul could be inside of it LAURA: What do you mean, his soul could be inside
of it? SAM: I touched the sword, it spoke to me, it
craves strength from other beings MARISHA: Wait, what do you mean it spoke to you? MATT: Here’s my question to you, Pike. What spells
do you have? ASHLEY: Okay, so short rest– MATT: Short rest doesn’t give you any spells back.
What level spells do you have still? ASHLEY: I have a 5th-level. I have one 5th-level,
which is Greater Restoration. MATT: Right, you have Greater Restoration as an
option there. What other spells do you have prepared? ASHLEY: Aw, shit. I mean, Cure Wounds? No, that’s
not going to do anything. MATT: Because from your knowledge and experience,
Greater Restoration removes serious curses, it removes avenues– ASHLEY: But wouldn’t that be–? MATT: Grog, though you are having a hard time
coming to terms with it, in the back of your head there’s a part of you that knows that right now,
Grog in the snow is dead. ASHLEY: Oh no! LIAM: Where can we take him, where can we take
him? LAURA: How can he be, how can he be dead? LIAM: Can we take him to Gilmore, can we take him
to–? MARISHA: Scanlan, what should I do with this
sword? SAM: Don’t break it. MARISHA: Should I cast something through it to try
and purge whatever it is out of it? SAM: You could try to do Greater Restoration on
the sword to see if that would somehow free the soul from it or– MARISHA: I can do like a Sunbeam spell, that’s
like a light spell. LIAM: Who could we take him to, could we tree to
Gilmore? LAURA: He wouldn’t know anything about these– Can
we go back in? MARISHA: I didn’t bring anything because we
decided to hoof it. LAURA: What about going back to Kamal? MARISHA: I didn’t bring a transportation spell
because we decided to walk. LAURA: No, but he’s right inside the cave, what if
he knows things? The sphinx! SAM: The sphinx– yeah. We could go to the
sphinx. ASHLEY: I have Heal, I have one 6th-level. MATT: Heal? Heal restores damage or damaged flesh
to living entities. LAURA: Me and Scanlan go back into the cave and
search for Kamal again. TALIESIN: I’m grabbing the sword and taking it to
a corner and I’m going to stare at it for a second. MATT: Okay. What are you doing, you’re going
to…? LAURA: Me and Scanlan take flight and we go back
in and we try to find Kamal again. MATT: Okay. You guys cruise into the cavern and as
you sit inside where the stairs were that led into the temple, it’s solid stone. LAURA: Shit! MATT: There’s no sign of an entrance whatsoever to
this temple. ASHLEY: Wait, wait. I have Revivify! MATT: Okay. SAM: Learned? ASHLEY: Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Has it been enough time? ASHLEY: You touch a creature that has died– MATT: Within the last minute. LAURA: Has it been a minute? He just did it, it
just happened! TALIESIN: It’s barely been a minute of real time. LAURA: We just ran over! ASHLEY: I wasn’t even looking at my 3rd-levels. MATT: Ashley, go ahead and roll an initiative
check. ASHLEY: Oh, goodness. Okay. TALIESIN: Can I assist with a whisper to the
sword? MATT: Sure. SAM: Can I inspire her? MATT: Sure. SAM: Okay. TALIESIN: You do first. SAM: I just hold her hand and I look in her eyes
and I just say, “Please, Pike, please. Please. I love him as much as you do. Please.” ASHLEY: Okay. MATT: Take your d10, and if you want to go ahead
and use that now or make this as part of the resurrection ritual, which we’re now undergoing. LAURA: Oh my god. ASHLEY: Can I do this first? Just to see if it
works? MATT: Well, what’d you roll for your initiative? ASHLEY: 14. MATT: 14, okay. You get to his body and his back
rolled in the snow looking up, just as that window of time begins to fade for the magic to have any
effect. You reach down and you grasp his cold-muscled chest and you find the one singular
thread, that little soul thread that’s still connected to the essence of his eternal being that
once resided within this corpse and you clutch onto it with the magic and hold on to it to begin
this ritual. Who wishes to bring something to this ritual? You have hold of the thread right now, you
need something stronger to keep him here. LAURA: Is that stupid? (laughs anxiously) TALIESIN: No! It’s not stupid! LAURA: Okay, okay. Then I reach into the Bag of
Holding and I get out Grog’s cask of ale. MATT: Okay. And–? And what do you do with it? LAURA: Okay. I pour a little in his mouth. Just a
little bit, so he doesn’t choke. MATT: (laughing) You reach over and you grab the
edge of his beard and pull his mouth open, it’s hanging limply. You pull off the cork of the cask
and begin pouring it and it spills down the side into the snow, darkening it on the sides of his
head. LAURA: I turn his head so he doesn’t drown in it. MATT: Understood. Make a persuasion roll. LAURA: This is so stressful. 16? MATT: Okay. The ale seems to slide back into the
throat and find its way in towards the stomach. There is no swallowing motion whatsoever, but it
appears that at least it’s not drowning him or blocking his airway. You’re clutching onto the
spirit here. You only have a few moments left before the magic is lost. Who wishes to– LIAM: While that’s going on I walk off 30 feet
away and I fall to my knees on the ground facing away. I know you are not what I want. But you are
what we need. And I will put aside my reservations and serve you. It is too soon for him, we need
him. He is needed. I will set aside my reservations and serve you. Please. MATT: Go ahead and roll a religion check. LIAM: 15. MATT: 15. As you’re looking up into the frozen
boughs of the trees before you, a little bit of snow begins to fall from what was once the still
air. It begins to dot the top of your face and touch your nose, and as the first cold singular
snowflake hits, your vision goes dark again. In that darkness, you feel your breath go cold as
well, and your whole body is locked in place like it can’t move. And all you see is the white
porcelain face of the Raven Queen step out of the darkness as her hand comes up and touches the side
of your cheek. And a voice in your head, a familiar voice, says, “I believe that every death
has its place.” And the hand lets go and pulls back. Who wishes to make the third and final aid
to this ritual? SAM: Have I already aided by inspiring Pike? MATT: Well, if Pike wants to go ahead and make a
roll of some sort of attempt at this, that would help as Bardic Inspiration. SAM: But I can’t help again? MATT: If you wish to do your own thing, you can. ASHLEY: Just for extra, yeah. SAM: The sword seems to want power and strength. I
don’t know if it will help, but maybe if we gave Grog some extra strength it might help him to come
back, so. I have a Potion of Fire Giant Strength. MARISHA: I could cast an Enhance Ability spell. SAM: He has no abilities now, though. MARISHA: That’s true. SAM: So I’m going to pour this Potion of Fire
Giant Strength into his gullet. MATT: Okay. SAM: Hope it gives him some sort of strength. MATT: Go ahead and make an arcana check. SAM: Okay. 18. MATT: 18, okay. As you pour the potion into his
throat, the somewhat thick red and yellowish compound that drips from it like a thicker
molasses finds its way, mingling with the ale currently in his gullet. You help try and massage
it down, like feeding a pill to a dog. As you do, you can see the veins around the shoulders
instinctually affected by this, as the flesh itself, you know, the cells are still alive. It’s
just the nervous system and all else that the lights are currently out on. You hope this is
enough. And as you hold onto that singular thread of Grog’s existence– LAURA: He’s taking a picture MARISHA: Why is he taking a picture? SAM: Because it’s not good. TALIESIN: Because he’s a terrible person, that’s
why he’s taking a picture. MARISHA: It’s either really good or really bad. LAURA: I know, yeah, it’s either really good or
really bad. TRAVIS: I can’t hide. LAURA: Matthew! MARISHA: This is bullshit. MATT: As you’re certainly staring at the sword– TALIESIN: I was going to say something to it. MATT: What do you say to it? TALIESIN: If I were you, I’d put it back. Or else
it will be the last meal you ever eat, because I will find an abyss so deep and so far you will
never taste a drop of blood again. And I’m not touching it. I touched it and put it down and let
go and said that to it. MATT: The shadow begins to bleed from the blade
and rise up and it seems almost like an incensed fury from your words. However, you also hear a
raging scream bellow from inside the blade. A familiar yell echoing in distant (roars). TALIESIN: I’ll start summoning my own fucking
mist, man, I’m not fucking intimidated by this shit. MATT: Your shadow begins to rise over your back as
well. As it begins to coalesce, these two black centers of dark energy facing off in wordless
anger and lack of understanding, the arm of Grog’s body grabs you by the throat and starts clutching
as it sits up and looks you in the face, eyes red with rage, going (growl). Roll a strength check. LAURA: Oh my god! SAM: Strength check?! He’s got 25 strength now! TRAVIS: Disadvantage still? MATT: Yes. SAM: He’s going to crush my neck. TRAVIS: 11. MATT: 11. He manages to close off the windpipe
just for a short moment, but in that time the red fades from his eyes and the first inhale of breath
(gasps) comes into Grog’s chest, and your vision clears. And the moment of confusion hits you as
you look around and notice this tiny gnome in your grip, head beet-red as you notice that your thumbs
are pressed into his larynx. TRAVIS: No, no. No. (clears throat) What’d you do
to me? SAM: (gasps) Nothing. LAURA: What the fuck is that sword, Grog? SAM: Gave you some ale. SAM: What’s with you and gnomes today, man? TRAVIS: I like gnomes, I don’t know! What? Why am
I down here? MARISHA: Are we sure it’s him? Scanlan? Percy?
Percy, are we sure? SAM: Nope! I’m not sure. I’ll do a perception
check to see if it’s– MARISHA: Can I also do an insight check? Can I
assist him or make an insight as well? MATT: You can make your own insight check. SAM: 17. MARISHA: Sorry. 23. LAURA: What? TALIESIN: I love a whisper. LIAM: I don’t. LAURA: How come he’s getting a whisper and you’re
not getting a whisper? Hey, you guys (sobbing) check out those “How Do You Want to do This”
hoodies– (laughter) TALIESIN: I want to do this with great pain and
sadness. ASHLEY: This is so stressful! LAURA: Oh my god, you came back and Grogdied!ASHLEY: I want to go back! MATT: He rolled a 20, then he rolled a one. TRAVIS: I did my classic ten-minutes-later
remembering-the-rules shit. MATT: That’s right, because you got the third
point at the end of that battle because you frenzied for that last fight. MARISHA: Grog! How many fingers am I holding up? LIAM: Six. TRAVIS: Nine! MARISHA: I think it’s him. All right. SAM: Oh my god. LAURA: Grog, you died! ASHLEY: You fell over dead! MARISHA: How many more of us are going to die?! TRAVIS: No, I didn’t. No. LAURA: Yes. You did. TRAVIS: What, when? LAURA: Pike saved you. Pike brought you back. SAM: Where’s your sword, Grog? TRAVIS: My sword is– where is my sword? SAM: Yeah, exactly. ASHLEY: It’s not your sword anymore. TRAVIS: What do you mean?! Wait, wait. Where is
my– where’s Craven Edge? MATT: You sit up and glance over, and you see
about 15 feet from you, set up against the bottom of a tree, the blade is currently being crouched
over by Percy, his fingers tense, his shoulders and back arched and locked, and you see two shadow
sources that are almost on their own subtle plane having a staredown. LAURA: Shit. TRAVIS: Hey! Hey, Percy! Percy! TALIESIN: Little busy. MARISHA: Do you want to explain this, Grog? LAURA: Can we see what’s going on? MATT: You guys look over and you see this
happening, yeah. TRAVIS: Well, I mean he’s obviously messing with
other people’s property! And I walk over to the sword. MARISHA: No, no, no! LAURA: I run over and I block it. I stand next to
Percy and I block the sword. TRAVIS: What? ASHLEY: Yeah, I walk over and I stop Grog. LIAM: I’m pulling out daggers and standing behind
my sister. Grog. Grog, let it go. TRAVIS: Let what– LIAM: This has been something on the tip of our
tongue for weeks. Let it go. Whatever that thing is, it’s fucked. Let it go! TRAVIS: But it’s my sword. MARISHA: It was never your sword, was it, Grog? TRAVIS: I mean, Percy gave it to me, but it’s
mine. LAURA: Percy gave it to you? SAM: Yeah. Yeah, he let him have it. TRAVIS: Yeah, we traded. Fair and square. LIAM: What did you say? TALIESIN: Little busy. LIAM: Scanlan, what? SAM: Grog, listen, when I experienced the sword,
it was pretty cool, and it is a powerful, powerful weapon, but after seeing what it’s just done to
you, I don’t think you can have it, man. TRAVIS: I’m still a bit fuzzy. Like I mean, you
know, we fought the sphinx, it got super-gnarly, and then we took a little rest and you– did you
see it shrunk? LAURA: Grog! The sword pulled you into it! You
were dead, your soul was with whatever the fuck is in there now. TRAVIS: Well, how did I get out of there? LAURA: Pike saved you. ASHLEY: We brought you back! SAM: We? It was you, Pike. TRAVIS: Oh, like just now? ASHLEY: It was a group effort! TRAVIS: Why do I taste ale, and whiskey? ASHLEY: Because she gave you a little to bring you
back! TRAVIS: I mean, I didn’t know if I’d thrown up in
my mouth, and like swallowed it. MATT: The shadow has now rescinded into the
blade. TALIESIN: Keyleth? MARISHA: Yes, Percy? TALIESIN: I’m debating whether or not to
touch the sword. And I’m debating whether or not you should touch the sword. LAURA: Nobody should touch the sword, Percy. TALIESIN: We have to move it. SAM: I’ve touched it before and it was fine. I can
touch it again. ASHLEY: Well, I could try to– LAURA: I feel like it’s going to try and suck
anybody in right now. MARISHA: Well, what should we do with it? We
should get rid of it? TRAVIS: Look, guys, I can carry it at least. LAURA: No. ASHLEY: No! You’re not going to touch it again! TALIESIN: It’s a bad deal. LIAM: Put it in the Bag of Holding and give the
Bag of Holding to Pike. MARISHA: Wait, no, we’re not putting that in the
Bag of Holding. That sounds like a terrible idea. However, let me read something really fast. LAURA: Can we talk to it? I mean, can we see what
it is? MATT: I mean, you see a blade before you. LAURA: The shadow’s not there anymore? MATT: The shadow’s pulled back into the blade. ASHLEY: Percy, what did you get from it? LAURA: I mean, what did it sound like? SAM: It sounded evil. TRAVIS: Well, now, that’s really judgmental. SAM: And also awesomely powerful. TRAVIS: Yeah. ASHLEY: What were you going to say, Vax? LIAM: de Rolo knew about this. That’s perfectly
clear. You knew about this too, Scanlan? SAM: I didn’t know what it was. And I wasn’t alone
in this; I had asked Pike to weigh in and she was thinking about it. Doing more research. ASHLEY: That’s true. MARISHA: Pike knew about it as well? Wait, how
many people knew about this? TRAVIS: Yeah! Only four of us. Look, it’s been a
great ally! LAURA: Four out of seven! SAM: Vax, I assume you have secrets you haven’t
told us. LAURA: He has a third testicle. It’s out. There, I
said it! LIAM: That’s a great time for a joke. That’s a
great time for a joke. TALIESIN: Best time for a joke. SAM: The weird part is it’s not in his crotch
area. ASHLEY: I could try casting Greater Restoration on
the sword. MARISHA: I might be able to Banish it. TALIESIN: Can you do that? TRAVIS: Well, that’s a bit strong, don’t you
think? SAM: And that’s only for a minute. MARISHA: No, I can do a more permanent version of
that. I’ve never tried it before. And it’s a 7th-level spell. TRAVIS: Look, look! Okay. Look, if you get bucked
off a horse, right? You don’t kill the horse, you just train it up a bit. Let’s just work with the
sword. LAURA: Horses don’t try to steal your soul, Grog. LIAM: Who owned the sword before you had it? Who? TRAVIS: Ah. Well. LIAM: Find it on the ground? LAURA: Oh. It was Lord Briarwood. LIAM: It’s very familiar, that’s right. It
belonged to the arch-vampire who we fucked up. TRAVIS: Yeah. Right. MARISHA: And I hate to be the one to point it out,
but I feel like you’ve been almost a little bit more brutal than you usually are here lately,
which is almost impressive. TALIESIN: Grog, I’m going to make you a deal.
We’re going to deal with this as a family, and we’re going to get you something much nicer. MARISHA: It just killed you. TALIESIN: Right away. We’re going to replace it
with something a little less complicated. LAURA: Maybe some bone knuckles? I hear those are
pretty badass. TRAVIS: Bone? LAURA: Giant’s bone? TRAVIS: Titanstone? MARISHA: Maybe a family heirloom? TALIESIN: Perhaps it’s time to be a better
badass. SAM: Does, DM, does Suggestion last forever or
just for a little amount of time? MATT: Suggestion, I think it lasts for a short
time. MARISHA: I can attempt to Plane Shift this into
another dimension. LAURA: No, how about we just wrap it in fabric.
No? TRAVIS: Well look, hey, look, all right, fine,
look, I won’t touch it. But can we like at least figure out what it was doing? Lord Briarwood had
it, I asked it a few questions, like if it knew Vecna. And we just got to see it level up
a little bit. MARISHA: What all has it told you, Grog? TRAVIS: It’s always hungry, right, so it likes to
be, it likes what I do– ASHLEY: Grog! TRAVIS: What? What, I’m hungry too! LIAM: Show of hands. Who here is
uncomfortable with that piece of shit? ASHLEY: I mean, it stabbed me, so yeah,
I’m uncomfortable. TRAVIS: I said I was sorry, I really– ASHLEY: It’s okay. It’s not your fault. LAURA: But I do think that whatever it is might
know something. MARISHA: Well, Grog said he’s been talking to it,
which makes– TALIESIN: You don’t want to interrogate it,
because if we interrogate it we’re going to have to make a deal. LIAM: You have to choose between this group and
that sword. TRAVIS: Oh, well I choose the group, I mean, I
voted I was uncomfortable as well. LIAM: So what are we arguing about? TRAVIS: Well, I don’t just want to destroy it. MARISHA: It served its purpose. You got its fair
use. You got your money’s worth, which was free. TRAVIS: Yeah, but I could use it on Kevdak. TALIESIN: It can use you on Kevdak. LAURA: Do not use it against Kevdak. You
don’t want something making your strength unnatural when you fight your
new foe. TRAVIS: Well look, the last I remember was it said
it was hungry. If it gets hungry again, I’ll just give it something to eat. MARISHA: Like one of us? TRAVIS: No, like my thigh or something. LAURA: You’ll chop off your own leg– TRAVIS: No, I would just stab it. MARISHA: You want to sacrifice your own leg for a
sword? TRAVIS: Kevdak has the Titanstone Knuckles. It’s a
Vestige that we’re looking for, right? It’s going to be a hell of a fight, and this is a hell of a
sword. LAURA: He’s got a Vestige. He’s still just him. LIAM: The sword just fucking killed you, you
dummy! MARISHA: And you were far powerful before the
sword. You killed Lord Briarwood without the sword. LAURA: That’s right. MARISHA: The sword didn’t make you Grog. TRAVIS: All right, hold on, Pike. Look. If we’re
going back to Kevdak. You know I’m not scared of death, right? I would die by a dragon, I would die
by a beholder, and I wouldn’t care, as long as it was a beautiful death. But I don’t want to die
from Kevdak. Not him. ASHLEY: We’ll find you a better weapon. I don’t
want you to die from something that’s not worth it. TRAVIS: All right. Fine. Do what you want with it.
I don’t need it. TALIESIN: What do you think we should do with it? ASHLEY: We’ll find you something strong. TRAVIS: This is an empty cup. TALIESIN: Oh, we’ve already poured it into your
mouth. LAURA: No, there’s a little left in the cask,
here. Here’s your cask. TRAVIS: I throw the cup away and just take the
cask. MARISHA: All right. Should I attempt to banish
this thing forever? SAM: You can banish something forever? MARISHA: It’s called Plane Shift, I can shift it
into its own little pocket dimension where it’ll stay and nothing else can get to it. TALIESIN: I think I’m perfectly content with it
being someone else’s problem. MARISHA: All right. TALIESIN: I’m staring hard to make sure it’s not
going to fight this. MARISHA: So looking at Plane Shift, it says you
can use this spell to banish an unwilling creature to another plane. But I can also transport eight
willing creatures, so can I hold the sword and attempt to Plane Shift it away? MATT: I don’t see why you would not be able to do
that to an object, honestly. Especially based on the power of the spell. Where would you want to
banish it to? MARISHA: Ooh. Ooh! Ooh! LIAM: Newark. MARISHA: The pocket dimension of the green-eyed
boy. The golden-eyed boy. MATT: Oh! LAURA: The Dread Emperor that we already killed. MARISHA: Yes, it was empty, it was his own
dimension and he’s dead. MATT: It was the Dread Emperor. TALIESIN: Well, let’s think about this. MARISHA: What? SAM: What else lives there? MARISHA: Nothing. LIAM: It was an island with child labor, it’s
full-circle for Keyleth. TALIESIN: I’m going to suggest something that’s
going to sound a little iffy, but I swear to god I’m being clever. Send it somewhere where it will
be content. Let’s not anger something. Where do we send vampires? MARISHA: I could easily send it to one of the Nine
Hells, where I’m sure someone would be very happy with the new gift they just found. LAURA: No! Somebody could use it. MARISHA: Exactly. TALIESIN: But they would be using it in the Nine
Hells. And it’s going– MARISHA: Yes, but you forget that all these planes
cross over. We have fought many a demon. LIAM: I don’t want to send it to the Hells. TRAVIS: Can I make like one little suggestion that
doesn’t involve it coming back to me? I had a thought that since Lord Briarwood had it before,
that every time it killed it might’ve been sending that life back to Vecna? But I don’t have any
proof of that, you know, I just remember being in that room with all the bodies, with the little
sphere of– the little dough button in the middle of the room. SAM: We could throw it in the sphere. LAURA: No. TALIESIN: No. That might go poorly. TRAVIS: Or really cool? MARISHA: I mean, does anyone else have any better
ideas where to send this thing? ASHLEY: What would happen if you threw it into the
sphere? SAM: Vecna would get it, right? ASHLEY: It would get, yeah, that would be bad. LAURA: How about you throw it in that pocket
dimension and then we can always go to that same pocket dimension and get it if we decide
it’s bad there. LIAM: Yes. MARISHA: That’s true. I mean, it’s its own little
pocket. It’s at least blocked off. That we know of. LAURA: Drop it in a thorny patch. MARISHA: I’m going to go for that Dread Emperor
dimension. LIAM: Percival? Percy? TALIESIN: Yes? LIAM: You are clever. TALIESIN: I am. LIAM: It doesn’t mean you’re always right. TALIESIN: I know. I know. MARISHA: And you do have this terrible habit of
liking to push problems on other people. ASHLEY: You don’t think it would work if I tried
Greater Restoration? LAURA: Do you have any more 5th-level? ASHLEY: I do, I have one more 5th-level. LAURA: Oh, you do? ASHLEY: I do. TALIESIN: I don’t think so, but what do I know? LAURA: Why not try it? Before we send it. LIAM: We can camp here for the night. We don’t
have to go anywhere. TALIESIN: That’s fair, yes. MARISHA: Wait, you want to do Greater Restoration,
why? TALIESIN: On the sword. TRAVIS: I’m at one hitpoint. LAURA: You’re at–? TALIESIN: I’m going to kick myself if I’m right. ASHLEY: Okay, hold on a minute. TRAVIS: I could just take a healing potion. MARISHA: It needs a wielder, Percy. TALIESIN: Does it? All right, let’s– go
ahead. I’m curious. ASHLEY: First, Grog is at one hit point.
Okay? So I’m going to use my 6th-level and I’m going to use Heal. LAURA: Okay. MATT: All right. As Pike turns to you, looks you
in the eye, clutching her holy symbol of Sarenrae, there’s a smile at the corner of her mouth at
noticing that her friend is back. Though as tenuous as this argument has been, and you weren’t
present for the scare that was there, you can see there is a genuine shake to a lot of their
fingertips from what has just transpired. She reaches forward and touches you and you
immediately heal 70 hitpoints. LAURA: Bam! Shebang. TRAVIS: (sings) I feel amazing. LAURA: What do you think Greater Restoration will
do? ASHLEY: I don’t know. Because I remember it worked
one time on– didn’t we try that on his– TALIESIN: In my mind I have a worst-case scenario,
but. LAURA: I’m afraid it will make whatever’s in the
sword come out. MARISHA: That’s what I’m afraid of as well. LAURA: But if it comes out then we can banish
it or kill it and– ASHLEY: And then he could keep the sword. LAURA: It will be just a useless sword at that
point. TRAVIS: Not if I’m wielding it. SAM: Something tells me you won’t be wielding it. TALIESIN: I’m tempted to ask you to do it
just because I would love to be wrong. LAURA: Fucking try it, Pike! ASHLEY: Should we try it? Let’s try it. TRAVIS: Yeah, go for it. We’ve got a backup
if there’s something wrong. MATT: So, as Pike turns around from Grog, the
softness in her face fades, and the hard jawline of Pike Trickfoot, seafaring gnome cleric, steps
across the snow, step by step towards the darkened blade that nearly stole away her childhood friend.
Still clutching in one ogre-gauntleted fist the symbol of Sarenrae, your other hand comes out and
you can see the shadow begin to spill from the blade as you approach. MARISHA: Pike, be careful. SAM: I’m going to inspire her again. I’m going to
sing a very romantic ballad. ASHLEY: Bring it. SAM: (sings) Oh my little pretty one, my little
pretty one, Pike the Gnome-a, oh you make my nipples hum, my nipples hum, oh you make my
nipples hum, Pike the Gnome-a. (laughter) MATT: Take your d10 inspiration. LIAM: All sad and tragic and with gravitas. ASHLEY: A d10? MATT: A d10 inspiration die. ASHLEY: That was beautiful, Scanlan. SAM: I know. MATT: All right. As you step forward and the
shadow begins to emanate from the blade, you focus and concentrate, and as you do, the light of
Sarenrae begins to glow from the front of your hand, and as it does, the shadow seems to be cast
away, and the blade now stands currently bare before you. You reach out and touch the blade and
recite a few words under your breath, and release the energy of the spell into the sword. Go ahead
and make a wisdom check. Just roll a d20 and add your wisdom modifier. ASHLEY: Okay. LAURA: Oh, that’s good. ASHLEY: 17. SAM: You also have inspiration if you need it. ASHLEY: Okay. MATT: Add your d10 inspiration die to it. LIAM: Yeah! ASHLEY: 26. No, wait. Yeah, 26. MATT: As you reach out and touch the blade, you
can feel suddenly the dark, chaotic presence in there. you can see flashes in your mind of an
individual, an ancient person. You see flashes in your head of a clamoring for power, a need for
attention and wealth. You see a person making a deal with something it didn’t understand. You see
a flash of a punishment. You see the remnants of their eternal soul bound to a blade. You see
themselves cursed with eternal, gluttonous, unending hunger and cast through the ages, the
rest forgotten. And you see, just like the singular thread that was holding Grog to his
corpse, a dark, dark thread that connects the sword to Grog. And with this spell, you grasp out
and clutch it– and tear it in two. Grog, wherever you’re standing, it’s like you just got punched in
the gut. You’re thrown off your feet and land in the snow once again, eyes wide open. All of you
freak out because it’s just like how Grog fell originally, except for he shoots up, heavy
breathing, alive. With that, the blade just snarls in your grasp. ASHLEY: (laughs) Oopsie. LAURA: What just happened? MATT: Grog? That fucking blade ate your soul. TRAVIS: What? MATT: You wonder, this entire time, how you could
be so foolish to give into something that this whole time has been using you. TRAVIS: How could I have been so foolish? This
whole time, that fucking blade has been using me! MARISHA: Pike, let go, let go. Before it– LAURA: Drop the sword. ASHLEY: I’m scared to let go of it. MARISHA: Let go of it! MATT: (impact) It sits in the snow. Motionless. LIAM: Keyleth? MARISHA: It didn’t attach itself to you now, did
it, or anything? ASHLEY: No. No. TRAVIS: Yo, guys, update. That sword is totally
evil. ASHLEY: Grog, what did you think we were telling
you? MARISHA: I reach out and I Plane Shift it to the
pocket dimension of the Dread Emperor. MATT: Okay, you reach out and you pick up the
blade, and as you grab it in your hand you can hear the voice, “You! I will–” And before it can
finish the phrase, you guys watch as a little thin slit within the plane just shutters open, and you
have a quick glance at that distant starscape with various broken, slowly floating islands of earth
and rock. You see the partially destroyed bramble forest that you once trekked through, and with
that, you throw the blade through the small doorway– LAURA: Eat it, Craven Edge! LIAM: (tiny voice) Help meeee. TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m not cravin’ bacon anymore! MATT: It slams shut and is gone. LAURA: Well? Fingers crossed nobody gets it. TRAVIS: And there was a dagger that came with it. LAURA, MARISHA and TALIESIN: What? TRAVIS: (laughs) I’m fucking with you. ASHLEY: Grog. MARISHA: I know how that spell works now! That’s
nice. LIAM: What do you say we camp here for the night,
everybody? TALIESIN: Let’s camp here for the night. LIAM: Right in the cave. SAM: Wait, it’s not at night, it’s the middle of
the day. LAURA: We can just fucking hang out for a day. SAM: Shouldn’t we start walking? MARISHA and TALIESIN: No. LAURA: She’s out of spells. LIAM: You got a hard-on for adventure, little
man? SAM: I just think we should make headway if we’re
going to be traveling all day. Grog, do you even have any weapons anymore? TRAVIS: I’m super exhausted– LAURA: Yeah, he’s got so many weapons. SAM: I could lend you my whip if you’d like. TRAVIS: No, I’m like Northrop Grumman meets
Raytheon in this Bag of Holding, we’re good. ASHLEY: Since we got rid of Craven Edge, do you
want the Gauntlets of Ogre Power back? TRAVIS: Oh no, I just gave them to you, though. ASHLEY: Yeah, but you’re the muscle. I take them
off and I give them back. TRAVIS: What about if I trade you, what if I trade
you– ASHLEY: Are we doing a trade? TRAVIS: I have Boots of Levitation. ASHLEY: Ooh! TRAVIS: Or I have black iron plate that while
wearing this heavy plate armor the bearer gains resistance to any fire damage. LAURA: Ooh! That’s good. SAM: She already has plate armor. LAURA: Yeah, but this one gives her fire
resistance. ASHLEY: Does it maybe make me quiet as well? TRAVIS: I bet if you levitate you’d just be
floating above the ground. LIAM: Levitate would make her quiet, yeah. LAURA: Does she have to– in the levitation boots,
can you move? MATT: Levitation, someone has to push you along. TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, that’s fine, I’ll take care of
that. MARISHA: Oh my god, we can get like a little kid
leash for you. LAURA: We could tie her onto the broom, we could
tie her onto the broom! ASHLEY: I could be a Pike kite! MARISHA: It’ll be like that scene in Inception. TRAVIS: Yes! We’ll discover electricity with you,
you’re a great conductor. ASHLEY: Grog, that would kill me! TRAVIS: Oh. That’s true. Which one you want? ASHLEY: All right, I’ll take Boots of Levitation.
And you get these so you’re super strong again. TRAVIS: I’ll take my Gauntlets of Ogre Power back,
strength back up to 19. LIAM: It was good times, though, Pike in those
gauntlets. That was pretty cool. ASHLEY: Hey, I felt real cool punching that
chicken that one time. (laughter) ASHLEY: One day I’ll be strong. SAM: Well, I think you just cured Grog, saved his
life, and got rid of a soul-eating sword, so you’re pretty strong. ASHLEY: What did you say? SAM: You killed the sword and saved Grog’s life,
so I think you’re pretty strong. ASHLEY: That’s true, that’s most important. TRAVIS: Way to go, badass. ASHLEY: Hey, thanks. TRAVIS: No problem, man. ASHLEY: Anytime. MATT: (laughs) All right. So you guys go ahead and
take a– TRAVIS: Long. LAURA: We just short-rested, but now we’re going
to sleep. It’s been a traumatic five minutes. TALIESIN: We were in a time vortex, really it’s
time to sleep. MATT: Fair enough. Where’re you resting? LIAM, LAURA, and TRAVIS: In the mouth of the
cave. TALIESIN: No, no, no. SAM: You guys can sleep wherever you want. I’ll be
sleeping in my bed. LAURA: Oh, in the mansion, fuck, we’ll sleep in
the mansion. LIAM: Sorry, you know, it’s so new, it’s hard to
remember– LAURA: –that we have that. SAM: Yeah. We do have it. MARISHA: Can I blow my last 5th-level spell to
Greater Restoration somebody from their age? MATT: Sure, yeah. SAM: Oh, do we know? Are we aware that we went
under that effect, I mean we just feel different, or how do– MATT: No, you guys have– it’s one of those things
where you felt the impact happen and you saw each other rapidly age for those that were present, and
even afterward there’s a noticeable effect, so yeah. You would be able to ascertain via those
situations, and the time you’ve had to rest to think over the battle and see that difference.
Plus the fact that you watched Vex get cured of that aging effect by the sphinx before you left,
that was also the big indicator. So you would be aware. MARISHA: Who wants to go first? SAM: You can do multiples? MARISHA: No, just one tonight. The rest of y’all
have to stay old. TRAVIS: Take ol’ wrinkly-nuts over there.
(laughs) LAURA: Triple the wrinkles, triple the nuts. MARISHA: All right, come here, Vax. LIAM: Here I come, ol’ wrinkly-nuts. TALIESIN: Can I borrow your broom for a bit? LAURA: You want to work on it? Or you want to fly
around? TALIESIN: It’s early, I might as well. LAURA: Can I stand next to you while you work on
it? Would that bother you? TALIESIN: Only if you want to double the amount of
time it takes me to work on it. LAURA: Oh, Percy, I just want to see what you’re
doing. TALIESIN: All right, it’s very boring. SAM: Wait, are we in the mansion or are we– MATT: So you guys have all walked into the mansion
at this point. Keyleth, you cast Greater Restoration, and you reach out to Vax. And what
little bit of crow’s-nest wrinkles, crow’s feet that have crawled on the side of his face, and a
little bit of the grey hairs that began to spray in the side, all revert back, skin tightens, he’s
back to his normal roguish half-elf average-aged self. LIAM: I am still older than you. LAURA: By like two whole minutes. LIAM: Which means I get to tell you what to do and
don’t you forget it. MATT: All right, so all of you guys head into the
mansion. Vex, you’re helping Percy to the workshop? LAURA: Yes. MATT: Okay. What’re you doing? TALIESIN: Hit dice just restore at the end of the
day, correct? MATT: Half of your spent hit dice is restored. LAURA: I pop Trinket out, of course, so he can
hang out. Shake it out. Run around, get some exercise, I feel like an asshole for keeping you
in this thing. MATT: (bear noises) Goes into the kitchen. All
right, so as you guys are preparing to rest for the evening, you head down to the workshop. TALIESIN: Yeah, just to work on the broom. MATT: Okay. Are you aiding? TALIESIN and LAURA: Sure. MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a tinkering check
with advantage. TALIESIN: All right. Oh! With advantage. Very
nice. It’s new now, I have to remember, I got a new number. Natural 20. MATT: You guys, there are other numbers between
these, by the way. TALIESIN: Are there? Are there? LA-New York-LA-New
York, sorry, yeah. MATT: Don’t poke the badger, Percy. TALIESIN: I gave it to Ashly this week, it was
working fine. MATT: Yeah, no. TALIESIN: The other Ashly. MATT: All right, so. You guys work the evening,
and though you were uncertain, Vex is actually a very quick learner and is eager to help, and so
between bringing tools at your disposal and helping you hold a few places properly during the
construction process, you manage to get far more headway than you expected in just an evening’s bit
of work. You still have probably a couple of days of work before you can actually complete your
prototype for this and try it out, but– TALIESIN: Can I at least have the tether done, or
is it still in progress? MATT: The tether for? TALIESIN: For a dex save if you fall off. MATT: Yeah, I’d say you’ve gotten that enough. TALIESIN: All right. Can’t stabilize yet, but at
least there’s a– okay. MATT: Yeah. At least if there’s ever a tumble
there’s a tether piece that would hopefully have a chance of keeping the broom with you, so. LAURA: Percy? I feel safer already. TALIESIN: Excellent. Yay to a constructive day.
That was– you’re quite good at this, we should do this again sometime. LAURA: I would love that. TALIESIN: Yes, this was actually agreeable. All
right. TRAVIS: I’m in the training room in my sandpit
sleeping bed. MATT: Which in contemplating over the experiences
you’ve had, you now have access to the full Craven Edge weapon sheet. TRAVIS: The full one? ASHLEY: That’s a scroll. MATT: Just so you know what it had done. LAURA: What it had done to you? TRAVIS: Oh, fuck you! (laughter) TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Okay. LAURA: Can I see, can we see it? TRAVIS: No. LAURA: Why? Come on. TALIESIN: I’m so excited. ASHLEY: All I just saw was “dark aura” in really
dark letters. TRAVIS: No, no, I can make really good origami
now. Can I try and take out the flaming warhammer, the Firebrand Warhammer? MATT: Yeah, you pull it out, take it, swing it
around, dust it off a bit. TRAVIS: Can I get it to light? MATT: Bursts into flames, and for a second that
warmth near your face is like an old friend coming to roost for a bit. TRAVIS: Can you hear me? (laughter) MATT: (fire sounds) TRAVIS: The silent type. I like it. (laughter) MATT: All right. You guys all have your evening’s
rest. Though it is an early evening, you manage to comfortably, after a number of harrowing
experiences, recoup, recover, wake up to a grand chickenful breakfast. MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter) SAM: Chicken and eggs, everyone! LAURA: Yay! ASHLEY: Chicken and waffles, perhaps? SAM: Nope, just eggs. ASHLEY: Oh, just eggs, okay. SAM: What’s a waffle? ASHLEY: I don’t know, it’s like a mishmash of
dough, the side– SAM: Sounds great. TALIESIN: Can I spend my tinkering check building
a waffle iron? I’m just kidding. I’m kind of kidding. I’m going to put that aside for later. MATT: Okay. Okay. MARISHA: (laughs) I’m going to put that aside. SAM: I spent some of the morning just with a
little piece of parchment paper and a pen, just writing out something. MATT: Okay. All right. You guys finish your rest,
the servants are eager to send you on your way, should you require anything else. Otherwise, you
guys continue your journey? TALIESIN: Let’s head towards the town. SAM: We walk, is that what we do? TALIESIN: We walk. SAM: What is this walking thing? It’s terrible. TALIESIN: It’s also very inconspicuous. I know
you’re not a fan of inconspicuous, but there’s nothing you want to be conspicu-ed by, here. MARISHA: I mean, I could mist, I could Wind Walk
us. Do we want to Wind Walk it? SAM: I mean, will that burn something? MARISHA: My 6th-level spell. SAM: Let’s just walk, then. MATT: All right. You guys walking north? LAURA: I float on my broom. MATT: Okay. Who’s leading? LAURA: And keep an eye out in front for any sort
of problems. LIAM: Have fun, doofus! LAURA: Shh! Yes, I’m leading. TRAVIS: This is a lot to leave off, that’s a lot. MATT: Well, you know. (laughter) TRAVIS: To not have. That’s a big fucking
difference. LAURA: Would you have kept it if you had known all
those other things? Or would you have wanted to use more of it? TRAVIS: You don’t know. MATT: This is, by the way, the benefits of
Identify spells and things like that. LAURA: Oh, shit. TRAVIS: Oh, well, if only I’d used my Identify spell. MATT: But going forward, if you have something you
don’t know about, you can always go to people with those abilities and be like, could you see what
the fuck this does? LAURA: Do any of our people have Identify? MARISHA: Negative. It’s like a wizard thing. TRAVIS: I didn’t even know people could do that. MATT: Allura or Gilmore could probably do that for
you. LAURA: Don’t act like you know for sure. (laughter) LIAM: I know about Gilmore. ASHLEY: Such a twinsies. MATT: Aw, so good. All right, so. You guys start
heading northward, you’re leading then, Vex? Make a survival check. Technically in the forest, since
you’re moving through. LIAM: Yeah! LAURA: 26. MATT: Not a problem. Utilizing the backtracking of
the path you guys took through anyway, is there anything you want to do while you’re in the
forest? Pushing through? Okay. So you keep moving north– LAURA: Oh! Did you want to look for that lake, or
are you good, Grog? TRAVIS: Oh, right, remember there was a lake when
we were looking for the heart of a nymph? LAURA: Doesn’t it lead into the Fey world? The
plane? TRAVIS: Yeah, there’s a portal there, right? And
isn’t one of the vestiges in the Fey? LAURA: In the Fey world? TRAVIS: Yeah. TALIESIN: Do we want to do that first, or do we
want to deal with– LAURA: We should probably, but I do want to come
back here. TALIESIN: Oh yes, of course, it’ll be right, next
thing we do. TRAVIS: Yeah, only if it’s close, otherwise I’m
good to go back to Westruun. Only if the lake was close, I don’t know where it is. LIAM: Are you in a hurry to talk to Dad? LAURA: Oh. TALIESIN: We don’t have to stop there, that’s fine. LIAM: Maybe later. MARISHA: I mean, do you need to talk to Dad? LIAM: No. We do not need to talk to Dad. LAURA: Let’s go to Westruun! TALIESIN: Westruun it is! LIAM: Sore spot. MATT: Continuing pushing forward, I’d like you all
to make a stealth check. (something clatters offscreen) LAURA: Oh, shit. (laughter) SAM: Someone just failed it. Pike! MATT: With disadvantage, Pike. ASHLEY: Disadvantage? Okay. TRAVIS: I’m still there, right? No, we took a long
rest! MATT: Yeah, you’re fine, you’re no longer
exhausted. TRAVIS: 28. ASHLEY: Can I put on my Boots of Levitation? SAM, LIAM, and MATT: Too late. ASHLEY: I rolled a six. TRAVIS: Yeah, she’s back! ASHLEY: Pike is back! What would it be without
some clanging? MATT: So as you guys are making your way across
the path, keeping as quiet as you can, Pike, you’re starting to fall behind a little bit, and
in trying to catch up, you get a run on before you start to hear this (hiss) out of the side of the
forest, and you see a deep blue scaled-looking lizard entity. You see in the distance a basilisk
that’s coming over the ridge. MARISHA: Oh, again. TALIESIN: I wouldn’t have let her get that far
back, I would’ve been hanging back there too. MATT: Okay, then you’re hanging with her and you
see this as well, what are you guys doing? It’s about, it’s about 30, 40 feet off. TALIESIN: How big is it? MARISHA: Should we run? MATT: It’s the same size as the other ones,
they’re about five and a half, six feet from nose to back end. TRAVIS: Let’s run. I pick up Pike, I put her on my
shoulder, and we run. MATT: Okay. First off, Pike, I need you to go
ahead and make a constitution saving throw. LAURA: Aw, because you saw it. MATT: You glanced over and saw it before you
realized. ASHLEY: I don’t think I did, though. (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh! I got 19. MATT: 19, okay. Just the instinctual glance at it,
you’re like, oh crap, and you feel the impact of its gaze. However, you’re a fairly hardy gnome and
you resist the creeping stone-based enchantment. As you begin to run forward, Percy pushes behind
you as Grog rushes forward, both of you guys recognizing that sound and averting your gaze,
pick up Pike and you all begin charging forward. As you do, you can hear the hiss behind you
gathered by a second one. (hissing) And the sounds of many feet charging through the snow quickly. I
would like you guys all to go ahead and, we’ll say for the sake of this, just roll dexterity checks.
Or no, athletics. This would be your run speed on this one, sorry. LAURA: What if I’m on the broom, though? MATT: If you’re on the broom, you don’t have to
worry about it, you’re not exerting energy to maintain a pace. Athletics. TRAVIS: 24. ASHLEY: 19. LIAM: 30. MARISHA: Ten. TALIESIN: Ten. SAM: 11. MATT: Okay. You guys all manage to maintain a
fairly decent pace; these creatures are fairly quick and as they begin to catch up, you begin to
use your guidance as a person who knows the forest fairly well to begin ducking in and out of areas,
using snowbanks at your disposal. At one point, Grog, you see a partially broken old dying tree
that you just go ahead and grab and throw behind you. Make a strength check? TRAVIS: 21. MATT: 21. With one hand you grab it and, boom, the
actual trunk, old and long-rotted, snaps and falls behind you with a large impact. You believe from
the sound of it, it at least hit or halted one of them for a short time, it’s just a (snarl) sound.
And as you guys continue pushing forward towards the northern side of this forest, the sound of the
hissing begins to slowly subside as you dodge back and forth, zigzagging across this pathway.
Eventually you guys, over about an additional hour and a half of pushing forward, you hear, and have
not heard any following hissing sound for a while, and eventually see before you the outside of the
Frostweald Forest finally approaching. With that, you guys push through the last elements of this
frozen forest, back into the fields heading northward towards Westruun proper. With that,
we’re going to take a quick break. (cheering) MATT: So yeah, we’re going to go ahead and take a
little trip here to the restroom, we’ll see you guys here in a few minutes to continue the
next length of this journey. TRAVIS: We get to play that shit again,
right? LIAM: Why did it get so scary? [break] MATT: And welcome back, everybody. So. Returning
from– Stop dying. Returning from that harrowing endeavor, you continue your trek northward toward
Westruun. It is a few days’ travel to make your way, a little over two days, I think, from where
the Frostweald is, you can stop and pass by the camp at the lake if you wish to, or continue
pressing forward, it’s up to you. MARISHA: Well, we should probably stop by and tell
them that their problem has been handled. TALIESIN: We could stop by later and tell them
that both their problems have been handled. MARISHA: Why can’t we stop by now? They’re right
here, we might as well pop in. We’ll forget if we don’t do it now. I know us. It’ll be three months
before we come back, and then we’ll be like, by the way– LAURA: No, we’re coming back soon because we’re
going into the Feywild. TALIESIN: Well, they know their problem’s been
handled because we sent all their people back to them. MARISHA: Let’s just talk to them real fast. Okay.
We pop in, we’re like, hey. LAURA: I think Keyleth wants a reward. MATT: You guys stop by the Foramere Basin, where
you originally saw the encampment of some of the survivors of the Westruun incursion by the Chroma
Conclave. As you approach, some of the guards immediately come up, crossbows up, when they
notice who it was before previously, they lower their weapons and one of the guards comes forward,
approaches you, saying, “Good to see that you’ve “returned. We’ve managed to also acquire our
recently captured individuals, most at least have “come back safely, it’s appreciated. If you wish to
talk to Cornelius, well, he should be up and “about. I’ll take you.” Leads you guys into the
camp. As you find your way in, folks around you tend to stop again and watch you quietly as you
pass, a few with smiles, and you see a few people wave and say, thank you. And you do see a couple
of individuals that you did help escape from the orc encampment, they themselves are still on the
mend, a lot of them were fairly brutalized when they were there, but the same child that you found
in the tent just runs up and gives a big ol’ hug to Vex and holds you for a second, then lets go
and runs back off to her mother. You’re led back to the tent where Cornelius originally met with
you guys, but Cornelius is outside of the tent right now, just in the process of cutting firewood
that’s going to be used for the firepits later on. LAURA: Where’d he find the wood? I thought there
were no trees around. MATT: You imagine that they don’t go to other
nearby wooded areas and cut them down? TRAVIS: Yeah, poke the DM. (glass shatters offscreen) LIAM: Oh dear. MATT: And that’s what happens. (laughter) MATT: You think that was an accident. TALIESIN: When you’re in 50 episodes, this is the
first one. MARISHA: This is the first one. It’s like that
scene in the second Matrix. MATT: Let’s not remember the second Matrix.
Cornelius is there. What little bit of timber they’ve managed to scavenge or find from local
wooded areas, Cornelius sits there, wipes his brow, his sleeves rolled up. “Oh. Hold on just a
second.” He puts his axe down and walks over, wipes his
hands. “Well, you’re true to your word. And for “that I’m real appreciative. You did us a real
favor and brought back some good people “alive and intact.” SAM: Did your brother make it back safely? MATT: “Cyrus did and I certainly had a very stern
talking-to to that boy. But I–” SAM: Don’t go too hard on him, he was being held
up by a rope and tortured by a bunch of monsters. LAURA: Pretty traumatizing, I would assume. MATT: (laughs) “That would be him, wouldn’t it?
Well, nevertheless, I appreciate it. Looks like “through some talks we might be able to bring most
of us into Kymal for the time being. It’s the town “to the west of here. It’s small, it’s cramped, but
we figure at least that’s better than being out “here in the open. And we have numbers there, so
we’ll be a little more protected.” TALIESIN: Well, that’s where we’ll send word if
anything happens in Westruun. LAURA: Yes. MATT: “Heading to Westruun yourself, now?” MARISHA: It’s next on the list. LAURA: If all goes well, you may be able– no, I
don’t know. TALIESIN: Let’s not make promises. LAURA and MARISHA: Dragons. LAURA: It may be a while, but we’re trying. MATT: “Well, I wish you all the best of luck.
Yeah. Figure if anyone could do it, it’d probably “be you folk. Well. I look forward to hearing from
your victorious recovery of our homestead, and “I’ll get the first round when we come back to our
town.” MARISHA: Farewell, Cornelius. MATT: “Stay safe.” He turns around and grabs his
axe again and starts chopping through the wood once more. LAURA: Was there anything else you wanted to do,
Keyleth? MARISHA: No, I’m good. LAURA: All right. SAM: Do we need to check in with Drez? No, we know
what he wants. LIAM: Fuck Drez. MARISHA: That guy’s a weasel. SAM: We have his Hunk of Quall. MARISHA: That was a gift, I’m pretty sure. It’s a
loaner, it’s on loan for the foreseeable future until we save the world. ASHLEY: Mr. Vina. Mr. Drez Vina. MATT: Drez Vina, who is the assistant to Master
Quall. Who is the one that originally hired you. And by the fact that he called a debt on the
initial enchanted ruby that you used on your first endeavor, yeah, you get the feeling that whatever
this object is that he gave you, it’s probably on loan. ASHLEY: (coughs) TRAVIS: Pike! Are you all right? SAM: Heal her! MATT: So you guys continue forward into Westruun? SAM: To Westruun. And what is our mission? LAURA: Okay, what are we, what’s our plan here,
Grog? TRAVIS: What time is it? MATT: You guys have traveled for one day, you’ve
gone into the evening, you can take a rest here or, you know, rest within your mansion on the
outskirts of this encampment before it roots up and starts heading back to Kymal relatively soon.
You guys then, the next morning, can continue your trek northward, and you can probably get to
Westruun by the end of day, if you travel quickly and consistently. LAURA: What do you think, Grog, what do you want
to do? Walk right into town? TRAVIS: No. No. I like what Percy said, I think
there’s worth in being clever. TALIESIN: I would agree. TRAVIS: I would actually like to maybe run some
ideas by you. We don’t walk into town, but we have the town walk out to us. SAM: How do we do that? TALIESIN: Oh, there’s many ways we could do that. TRAVIS: Well, look, so there are people in there
that are innocents, right, we told the farmer we’d get his people back and I really want to see if
Wilhand’s all right. So listen. How do you feel about sending someone in that would draw out their
worst? TALIESIN: I think we could draw out their worst
very easily. Hmm. How committed are your people to trial by combat? TRAVIS: Oh, it’s about all we do. TALIESIN: What can you imagine would be the most
exciting show they could possibly hope for? LAURA: A rematch, I would think. TRAVIS: Well, it wasn’t really an official fight,
it was more of like a one-sided ass-whooping. LAURA: But they think you’re dead. TRAVIS: Yeah. We’re going to get to that later. I
was thinking maybe we could set a fire and send someone running in and say there’s a roving band
of orcs that are challenging the goliaths, and then when they come out and leave we can move into
the town and get all the innocents out. And then if we want, we could set a trap, or an ambush, or
we could play some mind games, but I want to try and get the town clear first. SAM: You know, your people might not be the
brightest, but they’re not going to send everybody out to meet these orcs. TRAVIS: No no no no. Just a few. MARISHA: And probably not Kevdak. TRAVIS: Well, look, if it’s not Kevdak, we get a
practice round on those that do come out. MARISHA: Well, here’s my question: there’s got to
be hundreds of people still left in Westruun. It could take hours to evacuate a city of that size. TRAVIS: Well, so you know how last time when we
went over there and Horace was just outside the city walls? I’m pretty sure if we wait for a bit,
somebody will come out, we take him, we mess him up real good, maybe take his tongue out, chop off
his arms, and then send him back in. TALIESIN: Some of that is… TRAVIS: I mean, I’m open to augmenting that plan a
little bit. SAM: I could make you look like an orc or
something. TRAVIS: No, like I said before, if I go in
there– SAM: No no no, just to rough up the guy that we
send back in to tell them about the orcs. TRAVIS: I’ll hold him while somebody else can
rough him up, but– TALIESIN: How smart are your people? TRAVIS: Well, pretty smart, they’re all like me. LAURA: As smart as you? TRAVIS: Yeah, scholars the lot. MARISHA: Grog. If someone kills Kevdak, say
hypothetically you, who takes control of the Herd after that? TRAVIS: Well, my math is a little shoddy, but I
think that would be me. MARISHA: Well then, why do we need to evacuate the
city if you could theoretically have control over it? LIAM: If we could figure out where Kevdak is and
drop in on that point. LAURA: Well, he’s in the mayor’s– LIAM: Yeah. And handle Kevdak before the rest of
the city can descend upon us. It’s a gamble, but so is everything we do. LAURA: Yeah, but if the city, if the rest of them
don’t see him defeating Kevdak, then it’s worthless. They need to watch it happen. LIAM: Well, how honorable are your people, if you
fell Kevdak or whatever the fuck his name is, will the rest stand down? TRAVIS: Maybe, but– (sighs) So, here it is. My
whole life has been wanting to punish or get back at Kevdak. I don’t want to do it cheaply, I don’t
want to do it quickly. I want to do it with my own hands. Now, I’ll do it with my family, do it with
my buddy Pike, but I want it done right. TALIESIN: I’ve got a thought. It’s dangerous, but
I have a thought. You literally walk, march right to the city gates and demand a challenge. MARISHA: I have a feeling you’re going to be the
most attractive bait that we can think of. TALIESIN: If we put you right in front there,
perhaps we let Pike stay with you, I doubt there’s any of them who will not want to watch that. And
while they’re watching, the rest of us do our best to get everybody as safe as possible. LAURA: But what’s to keep Grog safe in the
meantime? TALIESIN: They won’t want to sully that fight, no
one will want to sully that fight. TRAVIS: No, I can guarantee you, no one will
interfere. TALIESIN: And if things get bad– MARISHA: We’ll be nearby. TALIESIN: We’ll pull him out. TRAVIS: I like that. LAURA: I don’t want to abandon Grog to a fight
with Kevdak while we’re freeing villagers. No offense to them. I want to have Grog’s back. LIAM: I agree with that. MARISHA: I think we won’t need to worry about
freeing the villagers if we can defeat Kevdak. LAURA: What if we stay hidden? TRAVIS: Oh, wait a minute. Right, so they think
I’m dead. LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Maybe I let them think I conquered death. LAURA: Which you kind of did, Grog. TRAVIS: Maybe we let them think that I’m not the
same Grog I was before. Maybe we let them think I’ve gained abilities. MARISHA: I’m pretty sure all those things are
actually true. TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, but I mean like– SAM: Yeah, yeah, make a show of it a bit. TRAVIS: Yeah. But they don’t have to see where
those abilities come from. MARISHA: Sure. TRAVIS: All they’ve got to see is me. There are
roofs, right, I mean it’s like two- and three-story buildings all in that city. ASHLEY: It just makes me so nervous. LAURA: So wait, we stay hidden and you call
lightning. TRAVIS: Yeah. You guys get all up on the roofs
while I’m making a scene in the middle and we pull off the greatest stage show there’s ever been. SAM: I love a good stage show. ASHLEY: This is not a bad idea. MARISHA: We can make you look as cool as you want.
That’s undeniable. TRAVIS: If I do a pelvic thrust, will you do
your– SAM: I will grant you cock lightning. TRAVIS: Holy shit. “I will grant you cock lightning.” LIAM: Weirdest production of Grease ever. TALIESIN: How many objects are you attuned to
right now? TRAVIS: Three. SAM: If he could unattune to one, we can put him
in the Hat of Disguise. TRAVIS: I don’t want it. TALIESIN: What do you have right now? TRAVIS: I have the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength. TALIESIN: That’s good. TRAVIS: I have the flaming– LAURA: Warhammer? TRAVIS: Yup. TALIESIN: That’s good. TRAVIS: And the belt. What’s the other? Oh, and
my– LAURA: You gained the ability to grow a beard in
the afterlife. It’s pretty major. MATT: Well, you have three of those, so you have
to get rid of the necklace. TRAVIS: Actually, the flaming warhammer’s not
attuned. MATT: Oh, that’s right. That’s true, no, you’re
good. TALIESIN: What does the amulet do? TRAVIS: It gives me plus two to my AC. MARISHA: Pretty nice. TALIESIN: That’s pretty nice. SAM: And so the object of this would be to stall,
to enthrall, to captivate them as long as you can, keep talking to them, not engage in fights for as
long as possible while we– TRAVIS: Get in place. I mean, I could try and do
it while you’re getting the hostages out, or we could just take down the snake’s head. TALIESIN: We need his Knuckles. LAURA: Kill Kevdak. SAM: Yeah, but is Kevdak going to engage in a
fight with a magical Grog? That’s not a fair fight, is it? LAURA: It’s a pride issue. ASHLEY: I think he will. TRAVIS: I do know how to get his pride in check. LAURA: Grog, would you engage in a fight with a
magical being who wronged you, if you thought you were better than him? TRAVIS: Why, who said something? SAM: And when they discover, and they surely will,
that you are not magical and that your friends are aiding you, will that bring you great shame? TRAVIS: No. No, I made a choice. This is my
family. My old family left me to die. MARISHA: Plus, I mean, it’s like wearing really
cool robes. Right, Scanlan? You know, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look cool. SAM: I don’t know about wanting to look cool, it
just comes naturally. ASHLEY: Let’s make sure that it doesn’t happen,
that they won’t know. LAURA: Nice beret there, Scanlan. TALIESIN: This is going to end with a fight
between the two of you, there’s no denying that. LIAM: Anyway, Kevdak’s using a gift of the gods. TALIESIN: Yes. LAURA: That’s right! He’s full of shit. ASHLEY: These are very scary people, you guys.
They left him in a very horrible state and I would not like to see that again. MARISHA: But that was years ago! TALIESIN: We defeated the people who left me in a
horrible state, I think we will have no problem defeating the people who left him. LIAM: We have a gift of the gods and soon we will
have many more. SAM: So you do intend to engage in a fight.
Because otherwise I would say, I can go in, just sort of looking like you, and draw their
attention. TALIESIN: And then what? SAM: And then bamf outta there. TALIESIN: But then what? SAM: Or run away and draw them with me. TALIESIN: How does that save the city? SAM: It gets them to follow me. TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, and either way, I like that
because either way, if only the pawns of the group follow him out? That’s fewer goliaths we have to
worry about. Best-case scenario, Kevdak, Zanror, and the best of the baddies chase him out, we can
get the hostages out, and then set the trap for when they come back. TALIESIN: It’s not just the hostages, though, it’s
a city under siege. I just don’t think it’s feasible to empty it. MARISHA: Right, but you have to remember it’s–
right, yes, pretty much. What you said. It’s a city under siege, under siege, it’s meta under
siege, under siege from the goliaths and then again from the dragons. TALIESIN: They’re in a place, though, where if we
can get rid of the goliaths, at least they could function with the dragons. LAURA: And if we remove all of the villagers,
it’ll definitely gain the attention of the dragons. MARISHA: That’s true. TRAVIS: Will it? I thought they only fly over
every few days. MARISHA: They have wyverns who have been running
patrol. TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Not over Westruun. MARISHA: But we haven’t been hanging out over
Westruun. TRAVIS: If there are no wyverns, are you open to
the idea of gerbil-ball Scanlan doing a thing? MARISHA: No, not at all. But that’s actually not a
bad idea. We’re still outside the camp, right? How about this: why don’t we hike to the
outskirts of Westruun, camp out the rest of the evening, keep an eye out, and just scout for a
little bit? TRAVIS: Yeah, and if we get close, hopefully we
can ask somebody that’s nice if they’ve seen any dragons and how long it’s been since. LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: Well, we probably want to set up shop for a
while and wait for the dragons to come and leave and then strike, so that we’ve got some time. TALIESIN: Very clever. TRAVIS: That’s brilliant. LIAM: We use fake shithead Grog. Sorry. Fake
shitheadier Grog to create a scene and run off and draw away some of the goliaths, probably not
Kevdak, and then you go in for the main event with a thinned-out Herd. TRAVIS: Yep. I like it. MARISHA: I can be on the roofs nearby along with
Vex and Percy doing range. LAURA: What if we do the same thing that those
orcs did? When you go in and cause a distraction and lead them out, we spend the few days that
we’re waiting for the dragons to build a massive trench, you can use Move Earth, and lead them all
out over something and drop a Herd of goliaths. MARISHA: And I can do the Hallucinatory Terrain
thing again. It has been a while. LAURA: Drop them into a trench, they’re stuck in
there while he fights Kevdak. MARISHA: And I do love using that spell. TRAVIS: I’m game. ASHLEY: I like this idea. SAM: It still doesn’t solve one question. TRAVIS: What’s that? SAM: I love you, but can you beat Kevdak without
magic and friends? TRAVIS: I mean, look, we’re going to find out one
way or the other. I don’t know. But look. LAURA: Can we aid you? TRAVIS: Yeah! LAURA: This isn’t like the Crucible. TRAVIS: No, look, he’s wearing weapons given by a
god. I don’t care if it’s a totally fair fight, I just don’t want to dispatch him cheaply. SAM, TALIESIN, and MARISHA: All right. TALIESIN: We can do this. We’ve got lightning. LIAM: That’s very intelligent of you, Grog. SAM: That means good. LAURA: Smart. TRAVIS: Oh. Thank you. TALIESIN: Let’s rest up and wait for the dragons. MARISHA: All right, so we’re going to hike to the
outskirts of Westruun. MATT: Okay. You guys, during this journey, find
your way northward. Are you skirting around the west side like you did when you first arrived? LAURA: Sure? MATT: All right. LAURA: We’re keeping a good distance, as we get
closer, so it lasts, I cast Pass Without a Trace on us. TRAVIS: We have that really nice high grass,
right? MATT: It was like waist-high or so. TRAVIS: Not like cornstalk high. MATT: There were areas where there was, like
during the thick farmland, there are areas where they have high-stalk. TRAVIS: I’d like to stay there, I’d like to stay
in those areas. MATT: Okay, so you’ll be pretty much dodging from
farmland to farmland, on the outside. I need you all to roll stealth checks, if you could? LAURA: Add ten because I cast Pass Without a
Trace. ASHLEY: I’m going to use, oh no. Because that
won’t be enough time. SAM: Come on, Pikey. TRAVIS: That’s good. LAURA: That’s really good. Plus ten. ASHLEY: Plus ten? LAURA: Yeah, because I cast Pass Without a Trace
on us. TRAVIS: 19. Oh. 29. ASHLEY: 24. LAURA: 33. LIAM: 30. MARISHA: 32. TALIESIN: 23. SAM: 20. MATT: All right. ASHLEY: We’re quiet. TRAVIS: He rolled anyway. MATT: All right, as you guys leap into the high
grass, moving around the outside of Westruun, eyes peeled, as the sun sets and the night kicks in,
you try your best to watch for any patrols that are keeping an eye. Make a perception check. TRAVIS: 13. SAM: 16. MARISHA: 19. TALIESIN: 20. LIAM: 22. LAURA: 32. ASHLEY: 23. MATT: All right. The three of you guys glance over
and you do see there is a patrol of three individuals, one of which appears to be goliath in
nature, the other two humanoid of some degree. In the distance, it’s hard to see this far away. And
they’re patrolling the same area where you guys came through before. It appears like the patrol
has increased, like there’s a mildly heightened state of awareness that something bad went down
recently. However, you stay far enough away and out of sight, they do not catch visual on you and
eventually you get enough distance northward where you feel like they haven’t really noticed. TRAVIS: Did we pass the area that we were at
before, where the farmer, Frederick? MATT: Yeah, you passed that area, yeah. TRAVIS: Did we see him? MATT: You did not see him, no. LAURA: Was his name Frederick? No, it was with an
‘r’. SAM: Can we go to that place? TRAVIS: Reggie. Reginald, sorry. SAM: Can we sneak there, can Vax sneak there? What
was the man’s name who we killed? LAURA: Oh, that you killed? TRAVIS: Horace. SAM: No no no, the goliath. TRAVIS: Horace. SAM: Vax, can you go get Horace’s head? TALIESIN: Okay, that’s a good idea. LIAM: Yeah, I can get that. TALIESIN: I take that back, that’s a great idea. LIAM: I don’t know why, but I can get that. MATT: So you’re heading forward to do that? LAURA: I rolled a better stealth than him, though. MATT: Make a new stealth check. As you guys hold
back and you– LAURA: Oh, that’s so much better! No, it’s good. LIAM: 39. MATT: 39, okay. So as you guys wait in the back,
staying low to the grass, you watch as Vax dives into the field and vanishes. You, darting in a
forward way, find your way to the outside of the initial crop-grid. There does not appear to be any
guards that are watching this property. You recall the various avenues you guys utilized in
systematically making your way from path to path. It takes you a few minutes, but you manage to find
an area that looks familiar enough where you find your way into the center of one of the crop lanes
where the corpse of Horace recently was. Roll a perception check. LIAM: 27. MATT: 27. You get there and you glance about. But
the body’s gone. LIAM: Fuck. MATT: Body’s not there, it’s taken. You start
following the trail, you see where maybe it was dragged off. Make a survival roll. LIAM: Survival roll? Well, I’m going to use Luck,
because I slept. Yeah. 18. MATT: 18, okay, so you find signs of his body
being dragged and you start trying to find the direction it was taken. You dart along, once again
keeping within the crops as best you can to stay out of sight. You make your way out of the
northern side of it before the trail disappears. You do not know where the body was taken, other
than north and outward. You glance over and all you see is the original farmhouse where Reginald
was living, there’s the crops out there, there’s the big scarecrow that was in the center. There
wasn’t a scarecrow before. You look over real close and you see, strung up across a haphazard
wooden spike, arms out, is the currently being pecked apart body of Reginald, who apparently
suffered the brunt of the discovery of Horace’s corpse in the time that has transpired since you
last left Westruun. LIAM: Do I sense anything around? MATT: At the moment? No. The patrol’s probably
a good ten minutes before it’s seeming, because it’s headed in the direction where you are
but you don’t know, probably take ten or 15 minutes before they reach where you are. LIAM: I’m going to stealth up to the body. Cut him
down. MATT: Okay. Cut the ropes off, he slumps down. LIAM: I shoulder him back to the group. MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check with
disadvantage. LIAM: 20. LAURA: 30. LIAM: 25. 35. MATT: Okay. Though he wasn’t a very heavy
individual, and especially now that he’s been out to dry for at least a couple days, most of the
bloat has worn off and the– not going into graphic detail, elements of the corpse have been
left behind. You bring most of him with you through the grass over to the rest of the group.
You guys watch as Vax pulls his way up out of the grass, carrying over his shoulder the lifeless
body of Reginald. LIAM: Let’s all talk about repercussions. And I
lay him out. TALIESIN: Well, they know we’re here now. TRAVIS: Do they? TALIESIN: Yes. TRAVIS: I think they thought it was him. LIAM: They did not think the farmer killed
Horace. TRAVIS: We should’ve sent him off to the camp. TALIESIN: They know we’re here now because now his
body’s missing. SAM: Also, I assume they tortured him before they
killed him. TALIESIN: I don’t know if they’re that clever. SAM: Can you talk to the dead? LIAM: These people were in a shit situation, while
I don’t blame us entirely for this because of where they live now, we must not do anything we’re
doing lightly. There are many lives at stake, not just Reginald’s. Let’s just not flit about, here,
let’s take this seriously, please. TALIESIN: Should’ve left him up there. MARISHA: What? TALIESIN: Should’ve cut him down tomorrow. One
more day up there would have made no difference to him, and it’s going to make a difference to us
because we have to move tonight now. MARISHA: Maybe it’s a matter of respect, Percy. TALIESIN: Respect him by freeing his daughter. TRAVIS: I agree. LAURA and TALIESIN: They know we’re here. LAURA: They’re going to see he’s missing. MARISHA: I think they already knew we were here. TALIESIN: I don’t think they did. TRAVIS: I don’t think they did either. LIAM: Scanlan, can you make a fake stupid body,
can you make a scarecrow? SAM: Not really. Not really. LIAM: Can any of us? LAURA: I can fashion something. TALIESIN: No, tonight’s fine. There’s nothing
wrong with tonight. I just figure, if we do it, and we should do it, and obviously this is nothing
if not a sign that we should’ve done it sooner. SAM: Why don’t we just burn the whole field? They
won’t know if there’s a body in there or not. TALIESIN: That was our reasoning last time, no, we
do this, I think we do this tonight. MARISHA: We do this tonight? ASHLEY: I could cast Speak with Dead and we could
ask him some questions. SAM: We could. ASHLEY: We could ask him up to five questions. SAM: Let’s do it. TALIESIN: All right. MATT: So you guys quietly press down in a small
area of grass to give you enough of a space for you to go ahead and perform this ritual. As you
lay the body down, you look up to the sky and where some of the cloud cover that is slowly
drawing over the area, there’s a little gap in the clouds, and as you look up to the now-visible
stars, you whisper Sarenrae’s name, look down at the body, touch it with your hand, and the still
corpse, the chest begins to rise and fall with an unnatural breath for the time being. The eyes
begin to twitch and move around. No physical movement beyond that, but the mouth slowly draws
open and you hear, while the lips do not move, you hear a voice emanate through like an exhale. “You
returned.” LAURA: Reginald. We’re so sorry. MATT: “I knew what I was getting into. Do not fret
or blame.” LAURA: We will rescue your daughter. TRAVIS: Five questions. Vax. Make it count. TALIESIN: Do they know we’re coming? LIAM: Me? TRAVIS: Yeah. SAM: I think we can all ask. LIAM: Reginald, how much do your murderers know?
About us? MATT: “I told them it was me. They should not and
could not know your intent to return.” SAM: Can he describe the one who did it? LIAM: Go ahead, Scanlan. SAM: Hi. Sorry. The ones who did you in. Other
than large and pale, were there any distinguishing marks or names thrown about? MATT: “They brought me to one of their leaders.
Half-tattooed face and brow and rags. His jaw, “once broken, pushes to one side. I know not the
name.” TRAVIS: Do I understand that description? MATT: You recall the tattoo, and you recall the
moment the jaw was broken. TRAVIS: I was wondering. MATT: This was Zanror. SAM: This was who? TRAVIS: Kevdak’s son. LIAM: He broke it. Grog broke it. LAURA: Oh shit. TALIESIN: What are the things that we face inside
the city? What should we fear inside the city? MATT: “Fear those that are fueled by rage, skilled
with weapons, and those that call the elements “their own. And the dragon does come.” TRAVIS: Does come. One more question, can we ask
if he’s seen the dragon or how long it’s been? SAM: Go ahead. TRAVIS: We thank you for your time. If we may, how
long has it been since the dragon was last here? MATT: “Two days.” LAURA: It’s coming tomorrow. TRAVIS: Two days, it’s coming back. Okay. LAURA: That means tomorrow it’s coming back. SAM: We can wait another day. How many more
questions? LAURA: Is that it, or one more? SAM: No, we get five. TALIESIN: We have one more if we want it. SAM: What would you like us to tell your
daughter? MATT: “Tell her that my life was given so she
could live hers. And my memory lives in her eyes.” And with that, the head just lolls back a little
bit, the jaw hangs open, the last of the breath in the chest (exhales) and the magic fades. TALIESIN: Vax. We have to put it back. LIAM: Yes. MARISHA: They don’t know we’re here. It could be
anyone who could’ve cut him down. Why would they suspect us? I would suspect the village people
first. TRAVIS: I would too, and I’m the smartest of them
all. LAURA: Which is actually worse. We need to put
something back up. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. TALIESIN: He’s going to save his daughter one last
time, we’re going to put him back up for one day. We’re going to wait for the dragon to pass, and
then he will be buried on his land properly with stone and dirt. LIAM: Yes. I’ll take him. Yes. TALIESIN: Thank you. And thank you for bringing
him. This was helpful. ASHLEY: Can we give him a proper burial? TRAVIS: No, we’re going to put him back up. ASHLEY: We’re going to put him back up, that’s
what you. Sorry. MATT: Vax, are you taking the corpse back? Stealth
check with disadvantage. LIAM: Disadvantage. MATT: Yeah, carrying him along, man. LIAM: Oh, it’s all right, though, 35. TALIESIN: Jesus Christ. MATT: Rogues. Coming back, as you approach the
outside you can see now the patrol has skirted by and you have to wait patiently, but not wait too
long because you know you have about a 30-second window before they will come into sight of this
farmstead. Using that, you dart forward, take the body, thrust it up, trying to catch– I want you
to go ahead and make a dexterity check to see how fast you can utilize what rope is at your
disposal. LIAM: Just straight dexterity? 17. MATT: 17. With that, you throw the body up, look
over your shoulder, grab out, pull out bits of twine you have, a piece of rope or a piece of your
shirt that you (tearing noise) tear off to the side, and fashion a quick knot over one arm and the
other, you look over your shoulder again, you can see the shadow of them beginning to just turn
around the side, you get the other arm up, just manage to slump it over the wood. You know there
isn’t any more time, and with that you duck back underneath the grass and vanish. He’s haphazardly
up and one arm is not actually tied, it’s just kind of laid over it, but he’s currently back on
the wooden stake, across. LIAM: Better than what it was. MATT: As you dart back and slowly return to your
group, glancing over in that direction, the patrol doesn’t seem to take notice and continues walking
past. TRAVIS: So am I the only one that, while we wait,
is itching for a fight? LAURA: Grog. TRAVIS: I’m sorry, look, it’s just who I am. SAM: Well listen, if you want a fight, we could
still use one of their heads. We could find one of those patrolmen walking around, grab him, take his
head. TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Too soon. MARISHA: Did we not just learn anything? LIAM: We’re going to be fighting soon enough. I
think everyone should hide inside your love shack and my sister and I should wait here in the grass
and watch and wait. And when the dragon comes, we alert you all. TALIESIN: We wait for a dragon pass. The day after
the dragon passes, we strike. LAURA: I agree. TRAVIS: Okay. MARISHA: Let’s go. MATT: You guys, most of you, other than the twins,
head into the magnificent mansion. An evening that is restful by definition but still wracked with
tension and anxiety. You guys watch throughout the night, relatively uneventful, though a cool
evening. Without building a fire, you both do have to keep bundled up against the elements. It’s not
cold enough to the point where it’s going to be impactful, but it is chilly. LIAM: I fart a lot. MATT: The farting does keep you warm, Vax. TALIESIN: I want to tinker for the evening as
well. MATT: Make another tinker check. TALIESIN: 21. MATT: 21. Okay. You made headway. You’ve
constructed a portion of the seat and the apparatus that connects it to the broom without
interfering with the enchantment. Right now it’s testing that and then getting the stirrups and
making sure that it’s functional and not going to get her killed. TALIESIN: Whatever night we have time, I want to
keep poking at that. MARISHA: Can I also spend some time practicing a
Protection from Energy potion? MATT: Want to go ahead and utilize the
delightfully presented brewing vicinity in the– MARISHA: I do. MATT: All right, sure. MARISHA: Not enough to where I can’t, you know,
sleep, but just, you know. TALIESIN: I’m going to lend her my resist
lightning ring so that she can study it and hopefully come up with a resist energy potion. MATT: Okay. I’ll say, what level is that? MARISHA: Protection from Energy is a 3rd-level
spell. (musical tone) MATT: I don’t know what that was. TALIESIN: Matt Mercer, white courtesy phone. Matt
Mercer, white courtesy phone. MATT: Now reaching housewares, spell scrolls. LIAM: Kevdak, you are wanted at the front gates. MATT: Third, that would be an uncommon spell
scroll, that would put it, I’d say that’d put it about– how many gold pieces? I’d say you begin
the process of brewing one. MARISHA: All right. MATT: It’ll take you a little while to get that
done. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: A few days, at the very least. All right,
so. SAM: Grog. Just before tomorrow and stuff,
Kevdak. TRAVIS: Yeah. SAM: His son is– TRAVIS: Zanror. SAM: Zanror. TRAVIS: It’s spelled– it’s spelled like this. And
then like it sounds. SAM: Sure, sure. Standard spelling. What about
anyone else I need to know about? Who you were familiar with or had a relationship with? TRAVIS: Nah. Not any longer. SAM: All right, so, we’re still resting, right? MATT: Yes. SAM: So I’m going to knock on Pike’s door.
(knocking sound) ASHLEY: I don’t answer. No, I’m just kidding. SAM: (whispers) I can still get in. ASHLEY: Hi, Scanlan. SAM: Hello. Did you get your robe and everything
and your slippers? ASHLEY: Oh, yes, slippers and everything. SAM: The monogram? ASHLEY: Yes, it’s great, thank you so much. P.T. SAM: And the scented candles? ASHLEY: Yes, it smells so good in here. Thank
you. SAM: Great, great. If you need anything, there’s
two bells next to your bed, there’s one to call servants and there’s one for me. ASHLEY: Oh, thank you, Scanlan. SAM: The purple one is mine. MARISHA: Percy and I strategize. TALIESIN: We’re doing strategies. SAM: Great. Listen, there’s been a lot of death
recently and, well, just, I might die and stuff so, ah. Just don’t read this until I do. LIAM: Can I read it? LAURA: Don’t! ASHLEY: What is this? LAURA: Pass it over. LIAM: Do you want to go steady? If yes, check this
box. ASHLEY: “Do not open” and in parentheses “(until
I’m dead).” SAM: That’s all. ASHLEY: Well, hopefully I never have to open
this. SAM: I hope so, too. That’s all. Have a good
night. ASHLEY: Bye, Scanlan. SAM: Bye. LIAM: (whispers) Secrets. ASHLEY: I close the door, I open it, and I read
it. (cheering) TALIESIN: I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of
you! TRAVIS: Nobody look, nobody look. Don’t you look!
Don’t you look. Don’t you look. LAURA: She’s full-on reading it! SAM: You know what? I love her anyway. (laughter) ASHLEY: This is a bit of tome, so I think I should
wait to read this, but a part of me– Oh. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: You clever fucker. Good god. ASHLEY: Oh, man. (gasps) LAURA: Oh, I want to know what it says so fucking
bad! TRAVIS: We got to wait for her to finish, because
the night is young. SAM: It’s all dick pics. (laughter) LAURA: The cube. Over and over and over again. MATT: In the meantime, while you’re reading that,
you guys are doing what? TALIESIN: We were strategizing. We were just,
we’re figuring out some strategy for how to make this work. MATT: Okay, fair enough. LIAM: Dick pics hand-drawn by quill. TALIESIN: By candlelight. MATT: As the evening progresses, you guys rest,
preparing yourselves for the next day. You guys– LAURA: We’re still outside. MATT: You guys are woken up right as the sun
begins to rise by the distant sound of (roar, sweeping wings). TRAVIS: Oh, fuck. MATT: You shake Vax awake and you guys look up
from the grass and you can see, coming down from the very very top of Gatshadow, you see the wings
unfurled and with each swoosh down, the gargantuan black dragon streaks down, dive bombs just past
the Bramblewood, and scoots over the entire city of Westruun, making its presence known. As it just
roars out (roar, sweeping wings), circling over the city twice, three times, as you see lights
going on in the city. As it goes over three times, seemingly content that it’s made its presence
known and asserted its vocal dominance over the vicinity by instilling some early-morning fear in
the denizens of this town, the dragon then lands a little bit northwest of the city itself. It’s hard
to make out exactly what’s happening at this distance, but you see it, at its size, circle
around an area, scrape into the dirt a bit, take a moment, makes a couple of grumbled (snarls). Takes
one of its claws and scoops up a large cart that has apparently a few sacks inside of it. And its
wings (sweeping wings). It begins taking up in the air again and you can see now there are three
goliaths that are walking away from the point. As the dragon turns and scoops one up in its other
claw. And the two others turn around and watch it as it takes off towards the top of the mountain,
unable to do anything. LAURA: That’s one less fuck we have to worry
about. MATT: Up onto Gatshadow. TALIESIN: So we’re watching the other two head
back towards the– MATT: Nobody sees this except for the twins. TRAVIS: No windows? Okay. MATT: No, you guys are in another
plane. You look out the window and it’s just like this purple expanse. LIAM: It seems like a slim thread of hope, but
perhaps the underlings are not entirely satisfied with this arrangement? Just scooped one up. LAURA: It’s possible. I have a feeling they’re
having a hard time finding any sort of hoard to offer after this many days. LIAM: Yeah. LAURA: Fuck. LIAM: It’s a long shot, but you told me about
those giants. LAURA: Yes? LIAM: When you were with Zahra, and they turned.
We shouldn’t rely on it. LAURA: It’s possible. If Grog can take control of
the Herd, they may be able to fight with us. But I wouldn’t trust them. LIAM: No. LAURA: We need to tell the others. LIAM: Yep. MATT: You guys find your way back to the door,
entering the mansion. Servants have already, at the sound of you entering, begin to appear out of
their spectral, ethereal states, bowing to you, offering to take your coat. LIAM: Chicken, please. MATT: “Right away, sir.” And they drift off to
prepare your bountiful breakfast. Eventually you go ahead and begin to muster the rest of your
party down towards the breakfast area, and the rest of you come to consciousness and find your
way to where the food is being served and Vex and Vax both wait, rather stone-faced, and prepared to
speak. LAURA: Well. Dragon came. Not happy. You’ll be
glad to know, however, that it took one of your Herd away with it. TALIESIN: I imagine the offering was a little
light. LAURA: Yes, that’s what I think as well. TRAVIS: From the three that were walking around? LAURA: Yes. TRAVIS: What did the other two do? LAURA: Not much. What are you going to do when a
dragon comes and takes someone away? Stand there and watch, really. LIAM: Your buddy Horace made it sound like it was
easy street, but I don’t know if that’s entirely accurate. TRAVIS: We can use that. LAURA: They may not be very happy with the dragon
right now. They may not care at all. TALIESIN: They may not be very happy with
leadership that leaves them in a place where they’re being taken advantage of. That’s very
clever. Might be time to move on. SAM: Move on? Move in? TALIESIN: For them to leave. SAM: Oh, for them to move on. TALIESIN: This is not a good deal for them
anymore. LAURA: So we start today, yes? TALIESIN: I think it starts today. MARISHA: I think it starts right now. SAM: Want to go in? TRAVIS: Well, I haven’t had my morning shit yet,
but as soon as I do– LAURA: While Grog shits, I’m just going to take a
little nap, while he’s shitting, it takes a while usually, right? MARISHA: Sure, yeah, yeah. LIAM: Same, same. TALIESIN: He’ll play Candy Crush. LAURA: Something to recover a little bit of time. SAM: Want me to guard the door? TRAVIS: I don’t think I need it this time. (laughter) LAURA: I’ll be right back. TRAVIS: What, you really got to go? LAURA: Oh no. Blocked. SAM: She’s going to go take a shit. LAURA: Don’t say that! LIAM: Laura doesn’t shit! SAM: No, she doesn’t. TRAVIS: All right. Yeah, then we do it. And we do
it the way we said. Right? SAM: You want me to go in, draw out as many as I
can, but wait, no, first we have to prepare a trap, don’t we? Isn’t there a trap to be
prepared? MARISHA: Yes, I can dig a trench pretty quickly,
honestly, if we want to go the trench route? Is that we were thinking? TRAVIS: Now here’s the thing. Sorry. SAM: You need to be inside the city gates as
well. TRAVIS: Well, hold on, what were you going to
say? ASHLEY: No, I, go. TRAVIS: So if we try and build that trench
outside, right, we risk being seen and then pop goes the weasel. If you go in– SAM: While I’m in, you can build the trench. TRAVIS: Well, what, can you go in looking like me,
or can you go in looking like me on fire? SAM: Go in and what? TRAVIS: Can you conjure just me, or could you be
me as a walking flame? SAM: Hmm, that would be harder. Yeah, that would
be harder to do, to pull off, you’re big. You’re pretty big. TRAVIS: Oh I know, this is like a one-time thing
for me, so I figured I’d just do it rockstar. I just want to see what it looks like. SAM: If someone else set me on literal fire, I
could, but I wouldn’t– TRAVIS: We’ll stand down from that idea, it was
just a thought, no problem. TALIESIN: There’s no bad idea when we’re
workshopping. SAM: Spitballing, spitballing. TRAVIS: If we want to do the trench, we have to
wait for nightfall. SAM: I was going to make myself look like you, but
a dead version of you. A zombified Grog. TRAVIS: I’m all right with that. Can I hear your
best undead Grog? SAM: (Grog voice) Right. So. Right so I’m. Ugh,
I’m so dead. LIAM: Maybe you don’t say anything. (laughter) SAM: No, no, I just have to warm up, ah, mimimimi,
right, right, rrrr. Cor, all right then, I’ve been dead for about five, six years. TRAVIS: It’s amazing, it’s like a verbal mirror.
So, if we do the trench, though, we have to– Percy– MARISHA: I could theoretically dig the trench
possibly without anybody noticing, like tunnel underground and just tunnel it out and maybe even,
you know. Leave like a thin layer of dirt, possibly? I dunno. Maybe. LIAM: Like Dig Dug. MARISHA: Like Dig Dug. Exactly the same thing. SAM: Wait, can’t you just shape earth without
affecting the surface of it, I mean, can’t you just shape the underneath of it? MARISHA: That’s what I’m saying. SAM: No one will even see it being moved. MARISHA: And I could possibly maybe carve it thin
enough to where when they run over it it’ll collapse. TRAVIS: Percy, what was your idea? TALIESIN: And mix a little black powder into the
dirt. MARISHA: Well, I was also hoping, oh, and explode
it as they run by– TALIESIN: Hit it with lightning and it’ll go up. MARISHA: Also, if we could maybe have something fancy
at the bottom of it to, you know. Finish them off. TALIESIN: Do we have something fancy to put at the
bottom? SAM: We have a bear. TRAVIS: If we do the ditch for
the people that’re coming out of the city, we waste it if it’s not Zanror and Kevdak. If we go
in– LAURA: At least it gets them out of commission. MARISHA: Yeah, I thought the trench was to thin
the herd. LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: Literally. LAURA: Good. I like it. SAM: So, wait, is there a gate to the city? MATT: There are multiple entrances to the city.
The few that you’ve seen are guarded with outward-facing defensive spikes and pikes that are
set up to prevent any sort of like cavalry entry or just as a warning. LIAM: I have a question. MATT: Yes. LIAM: For Grog. (crash in the background) SAM: (laughs) What the hell’s going on there
tonight? LIAM: We fought your father and he was dead.
What’s the last thing the Herd has heard of your father? TRAVIS: I don’t know. Last thing I remember, I was
looking up at my father. And the rest of my Herd. He made no move to save me. LIAM: Well. I don’t know how he got there, but we
saved you from your father and the dead guy deep underground, so they lost him at some point. What
if instead of Grog, you appeared as Grog’s dad? SAM: I don’t know what Grog’s dad looks like. LIAM: Yes you do, you fought him. He was a rotting
corpse in front of you trying to kill you. TRAVIS: Way back in the beginning. SAM: Of course. How could I forget? (laughter) LIAM: Make yourself look like that, I’m not
exactly sure what that would do. TALIESIN and LIAM: It could be interesting. MARISHA: I mean, it could also further instill
Grog being powerful and undead. TALIESIN: Yes, that’s actually even better. LAURA: If he brought his father back to fight
underneath him. MARISHA: With him, right, like he’s a
necromancer. LIAM: And Kevdak would think that Grog’s father
was serving him. MARISHA: Yes. LIAM: And he wouldn’t feel pissy if he saw one
Grog do a magic trick and then the other Grog sprang up and said, “Fight me instead.” It would
seem more real. SAM: What was your dad’s name? LIAM: Larry? TALIESIN: Curly. MARISHA: Moe. MATT: Do you remember? It was Stonejaw. So
Stonejaw Strongjaw. (laughter) LIAM: Wow. SAM: That’s a terrible name! TALIESIN: That’s embarrassing. LAURA: Wow. LIAM: That’s like George Foreman IV. LAURA: He had an intelligence of four. MATT: I know, yeah. TRAVIS: It’s a repressed memory, all right? TALIESIN: All right. TRAVIS: He comes up never. LIAM: This is George Foreman. LIAM and MARISHA: This is also George Foreman.
These three guys are also George Foreman. MATT: Other brother Darryl. TALIESIN: All right. So I say you, your dad, and
maybe Pike walk up to the front door and then we get ready to hit them with the doozy once things
start. MARISHA: All right, give me a little bit of time
to dig a ditch. TALIESIN: No Pike? TRAVIS: No. If I walk in, I want to walk in on my
own. LAURA: So this is only your fake father walking up
at this point. TRAVIS: As the distraction, right? LAURA: Yes. LAURA: Done. TALIESIN: You’re going to lure them out and we’re
going to hit them when they come out. SAM: Okay, but wait. I’ve got to bring them out of
a specific gate where there’s going to be a trap and if you go in and rescue any other civilians,
you have to bring them out through a different gate that doesn’t have a trap at it. MARISHA: We’re not going to worry about that. TALIESIN: We’re not going to evacuate several
thousand people, it’s just not going to happen. SAM: Okay. LAURA: We’re going to kill Kevdak. He’s going to
kill Kevdak. SAM: All right. I’m ready to do this except for a
few holes in our plan. TRAVIS: Yeah, go ahead. SAM: I don’t run very fast. (laughter) SAM: Maybe if I Polymorph as a goliath, I would
have their speed, right? ASHLEY: What if you borrow my boots that levitate?
Then you can– SAM: I can’t move myself, though, I couldn’t just,
I would be the Dread Pirate Roberts. MATT: There will be no survivors. ASHLEY: All right, all right, bad idea. SAM: But if I am Polymorphed as a goliath, would I
gain their– all their abilities and– MATT: Their movement speed, yes. SAM: Intelligence? MATT: Yeah. It’s everything– TALIESIN: So why not just look like them and if
you need to you can make a bubble? LIAM: You know what would make you move pretty
fast is a lady rogue with a flying broom. LAURA: That’s true, I could be hiding behind you
and drag you. TALIESIN: Could have a rope tied to him. MATT: However, Polymorph is any beast form, if I
recall. SAM: It can’t be a man? He’s not a beast, that
guy? MATT: A “beast.” Yeah, this, you’d be looking at
more of an illusion-based spell like Alter Self. SAM: Oh, well I don’t have that. Oh, I have the
hat, but it doesn’t make me grow, does it? MATT: No, you’d be a very, very tiny goliath. LIAM: Maybe they’d think it was perspective
fuckery like in the Lord of the Rings movies. SAM: Well, backup plan, I can go in as dead
Reginald. LIAM: His dad is much better. SAM: They killed him, they just killed him,
Kevdak’s son killed him, Kevdak’s son knows who he is. MARISHA: No. They don’t care. SAM: Sure he does, they just killed him two days
ago. TALIESIN: Can you remember who you killed two days
ago? SAM: I can, I remember all of them because I
barely kill anybody. TALIESIN: Oh, well, that’s fair. I don’t think
they care who he is. TRAVIS: Right. TALIESIN: I think you showing up at the front
doors is the best option at this point. MARISHA: Scanlan, can you do it with an illusion
instead of an actual, physical person? Just an illusion? SAM: My illusions are small in size. I mean, I
could just go in as hey, I’m Mr. Scanlan, come chase after me. TRAVIS: This is your trick. You pick. LAURA: You could be a fucking triceratops again,
for all– SAM: Are they going to chase after a triceratops,
though? MARISHA: It could make theoretical sense if you’re
still undead Stonejaw, because, you know, decomposition I’m sure shrinks you a little bit. ASHLEY: What’s something that they would chase
after? LIAM: Grog. TRAVIS: Anything that moves. MARISHA: While you guys figure it out, I’m going
to start digging a trench. TALIESIN: I’ll help. I’m going to get some– MARISHA: No no no, I’m good. I’m good. You stay. I
don’t want to blow our cover, I’m going to do this all underground. TALIESIN: All right. MARISHA: So outside of the city I’m going to start
digging underground and I’m going to start digging a trench. MATT: All right. So you’re using Move Earth? MARISHA: I’m moving earth, I’m going to go
underground. And it lasts up to two hours. MATT: You’re going underground to do it? MARISHA: I want to go underground and tunnel
towards– MATT: Okay, I see, and then create like the trench
tunnel underneath, okay. MARISHA: And do– and I want to make it really
thin to where there’s a nice thin layer of earth, and then I want to make it really deep. MATT: Okay, Move Earth is a concentration up to
two hours. MARISHA: Uh-huh, and I can concentrate on a
40-square-foot for ten minutes. And each ten minutes I can change it. MATT: If you’re doing a 40-foot square it could be
like 20 feet lower for every 40-foot square you can do, yeah. MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah. So real deep. MATT: Okay. So we’ll say over the two-hour period
you could create, for a 40-foot square, like a hundred feet deep, 120 feet deep– MARISHA: I want to make sure it’s wide enough to
cover the whole entrance as well. MATT: The whole entrance? Okay. So you dig
underneath. Stealth check to get close enough. Because in digging, it’ll take you most of that
duration to dig up to the gate. MARISHA: Uh-huh. Underground. MATT: Yeah. I’d say, so in order to do this, you
have to actually get fairly close before you start digging down there. MARISHA: I rolled a 19. MATT: 19? MARISHA: And I have a stealth of 11. MATT: Okay. All right, so. You make your way up
there, moving through the grass best you can. The guards that are there are partially (yawns) coming
to, you begin to slowly manipulate downward into the ground using a relatively untouched patch of
high grass for cover, and pushing your way through. Over the next two hours, you manage to
dig a ditch, the width of this entrance is about 40 feet. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: So from end to end, if you just go straight
down from there at 20 feet per section every ten minutes, looking at 240 feet deep if you wanted to
go the full, although, actually, having to tunnel underneath would probably take– we’ll say 180
feet. MARISHA: 180 feet. That’ll do. LAURA: Oh my god, that’s amazing. MARISHA: And I can make the ground thin enough to
where it’s not going to support weight, yeah? MATT: Yeah, you give yourself enough of a buffer
where yeah, you could, might require a bit of a jolt, make an intelligence check. MARISHA: Ah, jeez Louise. Ooh. 19. MATT: Okay. You feel pretty confident that you’ve
left just enough of a surface that it would support a little bit of weight and maintain its
placement. But upon the weight of maybe two humanoid-sized individuals, it would probably
crumble beneath. MARISHA: Cool. Cool cool cool. Did I get a little
black powder from you? TALIESIN: I did, I gave you a little bit of black
powder. MARISHA: Can I put a little black powder in the
top of the dirt? MATT: What is a little bit? MARISHA: Whatever he gave me. TALIESIN: I have a little bit left over. I gave
her a third of a barrel worth, like twice this. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: So I pepper it in the top, where if it
gets hit it’s going to go boom. TALIESIN: I’m going to have to deal with it
eventually, but I’m fine at the moment. MATT: Okay. All right. You pepper it on the earth
from underneath. Okay. MARISHA: Maybe it works. Maybe. I don’t know. TALIESIN: If it’s hit by lightning it should be
fine. MARISHA: Okay, okay. LIAM: So Grog’s father’s too big for you, what
about the undead severed head of Grog’s father? SAM: I can make an image of that. LIAM: Floating about in the air with Pike’s
boots. LAURA: Oh my gosh, a floating severed head? LIAM: Saying nasty, nasty, nasty things at the
Herd. SAM: I can do that. TRAVIS: But he can’t move if he’s wearing the
boots. TALIESIN: He’ll be tied to a rope. You can make it
move when it’s time. LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: Could you pull him like a balloon? SAM: I can make the head move. MARISHA: Can you be a floating head inside of a
hamster ball? SAM: I wouldn’t need to be the head, I mean, I
can’t make my body look like a head. LIAM: You can’t? I thought you could do anything. LAURA: But you can make the illusion of a head
talking. SAM: I can make the illusion of a head talking.
Wizard of Oz-style. LIAM: Can it follow you about? MARISHA: Well, he can be on a roof. SAM: It would be within 60 feet of me, I think. MATT: Which one? SAM: Minor Illusion, I guess. MATT: Minor Illusion, you could, it’s a very minor
illusion. SAM: I know. MATT: But you could make noise escape from the
vicinity of where the head is. TALIESIN: Could I assist with that? SAM: Because he has Minor Illusion as well. MATT: If you’re close enough to it, it’s
possible. SAM: I could also do– these goliaths, they don’t
like wyverns. I could be a wyvern. LAURA: The head is so perfect. LIAM: You could be a whole wyvern, but you can’t
be a goliath? SAM: It’s not a beast, apparently. MATT: Yeah. Polymorph– there are higher-level
spells that can let you it, but they’re a little out of your range. SAM: A wyvern is a beast? TALIESIN: Okay, we can do the head. LAURA: The head. Be a head! Be a giant, floating,
severed head, I like it. TALIESIN: Can you get me out of there once they
come to attack? LAURA: Me? TALIESIN: Yes. LAURA: I mean, I can use the tether and tie you to
the broom. TALIESIN: I’ll be the bait. MATT: A wyvern is a dragon, it is not a beast. SAM: Huh? MATT: A wyvern is a dragon, it is not a beast. SAM: I cannot be a wyvern. TALIESIN: I can be the bait. MARISHA: With the hat? With your hat? ASHLEY: How are you going to be the bait? SAM: Yeah, how are you going to be the bait? TALIESIN: I’m going to have the severed head of
your father talking to them. SAM: Yes, I can do that too, and I can escape. You
can’t. TALIESIN: Up to you. All right. LAURA: Do it. LIAM: Do it, Scanlan, do it. LAURA: Come on, Scanlan. SAM: I mean, I can try. Might be shit. How are you
going to hide? TRAVIS: Can I ask this? Let’s say we pick this
gate where she’s digging out this ditch. What is the terrain like on the outside of the wall next
to that gate? MATT: Because of the building, or the structure of
it for about 30 feet on the outside of the wall it’s mainly just hard-packed dirt and earth from
patrols for hundreds of years going around the wall, whether it be carts, beasts of burden, or
just people walking all around the outskirts of the town of Westruun, it’s very heavy-packed and
often-walked earth. TRAVIS: Zero cover. MATT: Zero coverage within 30 feet of it, and the
grass does thin as it gets close to that. Keyleth had to pick a specific area and get low and even
then had to force her way under and use a good, you know, a quarter of her spell time to be able
to dig well enough to get past that space. TRAVIS: Past 30 feet from the wall, from the edge
of town, what kind of cover is there? Is there any? MATT: Not really. TRAVIS: Not even the tall grass? MATT: The grass at that point gets about waist- to
knee-high, even less so. TRAVIS: This is an important thing we need to
remember. As we’re doing all this, let’s just assume that we’re us and this’ll all go tits-up
real quick. We’re going to be a fucking long way away from you before we can come to help. SAM: That’s why you’re going to send Pike with me.
No, I’m just kidding, I would never. LIAM: No, but my sister or I could go with you.
One of us. SAM: That would make me feel quite nice. TALIESIN: Sister’s good for an escape route. TRAVIS: We should at least find a forward
operating base, a place where we can watch this unfold from cover and figure out how far away we
are from the first act of our show. TALIESIN: Well, if everything goes wrong we meet
back here at the very least. MARISHA: I mean, theoretically we’ll be stationed
throughout, and we’ll have our earpieces, correct? TALIESIN: Yeah, but I’m just talking about, what
if we have to para-rescue his ass out of a fucking pickle? TALIESIN: That’s what Vex is for. LAURA: I’m standing nearby on my broom. I’ll fly
in and pick him up. He can Dimension Door out, though, very quickly. MARISHA: I also have both of my beast shaping,
still, so I can always fly in and evac you. TRAVIS: How far away are we from the entrance
now? MATT: As you guys have plotted this, and Keyleth
has come back to you through the grass after creating this tunnel, I’d say you’re about 150,
200 feet out. TALIESIN: That’s perfect. SAM: And we know Westruun. MATT: Yeah, you know it well. SAM: And I know how far away from the center of
town are we– TRAVIS: Wait a minute, are there sewers in
Westruun? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: It’s okay. TRAVIS: I don’t know. TALIESIN: We have that option if it comes to it. TRAVIS: Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that. TALIESIN: It’s all right. And again, like any good
plan, everything will go wrong. LAURA: Yes. LAURA and MARISHA: Let’s do it! TALIESIN: It’s time. MATT: The grass dies, begins to die away, and
become in– not helpful for stealth about 80, 70-80 feet outside the wall. MARISHA: Can we get a Pass Without a Trace while
we all get to our positions? LAURA: Fuck yeah. MATT: Okay. Pass Without a Trace, even so, you
can’t stealth in the open. In order to stealth, you have to have some way of staying out of sight.
Once you get to about 70 feet from the wall, it’s basically just open ground and the large wall that
surrounds Westruun. MARISHA: I could give us a fog cloud. LAURA: Can you dig a hole under and we can hang
out in a hole with something over top of it so we can bust up out, like shallow ground? MARISHA: I’ve already burned it. I mean, we can
still go underground, I have a tunnel built to a certain point. LAURA: But we have to be able to get out of it. TALIESIN: Let’s just keep our distance, let’s get
them out of the castle and coming out at us. LAURA: Okay. And then we go in. MATT: Okay. So. What’s the plan? Who’s doing
what? SAM: I go invisible and start walking into town. LAURA: We stay at the very edge, stealthed as
fuck. TALIESIN: You’re not going into town, why are you
going into town? We dug a giant pit in front of the main entrance. MARISHA: Yeah, everyone be mindful of the pit, I
point it out to everyone where the pit is so we can go around it. MATT: Okay. To be fair, yeah, and he is a gnome.
He is not a very heavy individual. And you were pretty spot-on– You’re fairly certain it can support
the weight of a gnome. MARISHA: I can Polymorph a couple people. No.
Sorry. I can Polymorph one person as a stealth kind of deal. MATT: There are the three guards there, about 20
feet in from the main gate, or the main entranceway, one of which appears to be a female
goliath, muscular scar-based torso, very thick, dark, dreaded hair that’s pulled tightly to the
back of her head and hangs down to the mid-back, and you see two humans that are also as
rugged-looking, possibly members of the secondary tribe that they adopted, as was mentioned when you
first inquired about the tribe as it currently stands, the Herd. They’re all just looking out,
bored, one of them is chewing on some dried meat, and they’re just keeping an eye out. Scanlan,
you’ve gone invisible and you’re approaching the front gate. What are you doing? SAM: Hey, can you cast Pass Without a Trace on
me? LAURA: I already did! SAM: Okay, good. I’m just going to walk in,
straight into town. MATT: Okay. Yeah. Just for the sake of this, go
ahead and make a stealth check. With advantage. SAM: With advantage. MATT: Yeah, they have very little chance to even
notice. SAM: So 16 plus– LAURA: Ten. SAM: Plus two. So 28. MATT: Yeah. Given the circumstance that you’re
invisible and that advantage roll, even the quietness of your footsteps, you manage to
literally walk within five feet of them without them noticing. You hear some low mutters, some of
it’s just like broken words, “Stupid hungry–” And the larger female goliath is like, “Shut up. Eyes
peeled. I hate this.” They look very unhappy about having to be stuck there at this watch. So you’ve
moved past them, now. SAM: All right, I’m going to go into the– just
the center. We had a scouting party go in and see that– yes we did, yes we did. It was the center
of town, and that’s where the key people were around, milling about. MATT: Yeah, the very center of town is about a
15-minute walk from the outside of town. TALIESIN: We can hear everything that happens. MATT: How long does your invisibility last? SAM: An hour. MATT: An hour. Okay. You start coasting through
the town, you come towards a T-intersection of where the road continues forward and turns to the
right, you can see a number of the buildings, just like you saw previously on you guys’ journey, some
of them are charred and black from fires that have been set. Some of them, you do notice as you pass
by, large elements of the buildings have just dissolved, melted down by some sort of chemical
reaction. Many buildings still stand. You do see that there are broken barrels and crates in the
streets, it looks like a lot of what may have been in storage or being brought around as commerce has
been ransacked and raided or relocated. You do see a couple carts that are half-broken or just up on
the side, with whatever’s on the inside pulled out. You do manage to see a couple of horses that
were killed during some altercation that were just left rotting in the middle of the street. There
are no people visible on the street. Make a perception check. LAURA: What time is it? MATT: At this point now? In the two hours for you
to do that digging, it’s close to 10:30, 11:00 in the morning. SAM: 13. MATT: 13. Okay. You keep walking past, you don’t
notice anything that catches your attention. You keep moving towards the center of the town. You
start moving through the religious district of the middle of Westruun. Make another perception
check. SAM: 19. TALIESIN: Plus. SAM: Nothing. MATT: 19. You glance by what you knew previously
in Westruun as the central church of Erathis there. It’s a rather, in comparison to the rest of
the town, a gaudy temple. But it has been defiled fairly heavily. You can see paint, mud, or some
other substance has been smeared across parts of it, portions of the rock have been pushed over and
collapsed. You do glance and see a small humanoid peeking through one of the ajar doors that you
see, for a second you see a set of eyes, then it sees you and closes the door. LAURA: It saw you? SAM: Oh, shit. Fuck, he knows I’m there, I got to
keep going. I got to keep going, yeah. LAURA: You’re invisible! SAM: Yeah. (laughs) Yeah. MATT: You keep moving towards the very, very
center of town, moving past a couple of other patrols. You’ve passed, even in just this journey
into the center of– journey to the center of Westruun– you’ve passed roughly 30 or so
well-armed, relatively savage individuals that mark the same civilized level of Grog, give or
take some further steps into society. Many of them are wearing pieces of clothing that have been
taken from this town, they’re dressed better than their station, you know, rough-looking, big,
thick, unshaven faces for the humans, but they’re still like dressed in pompous clothing that’s
partially torn and smeared. They’re a walking parody of the people that once ruled this town,
and they seem to know it. They’re enjoying this gloating. Eventually you make your way to the
central town square, which is not far from where the Margrave’s home is. This area, you do notice,
has been set up as a defensive central location. There are just barriers and barricades of all
sorts of furniture that have been nailed together and this has been made an assault post, where if
anyone were to attempt to attack the center of this town, this would be a wonderful defensive
position for someone to hole up and wait it out, whether it be against other people or a dragon. It
has been built with the best of their ability in that regard. And there are a number of weapons
that they’ve taken from the city that have been bolted in, that have been strapped around, so
there’s just like jagged edges of halberds and whatever blades they could muster in every
direction, therefore if anything wasn’t being very careful and running through here, they could be
easily shoved into one of these hazards or perhaps even pushed onto it as a means of display. Which
you do notice, on a number of these, various heads are currently placed as warning symbols, in
varying states of decay. You recognize two of the heads. One of which is– LAURA: No no no no no. MATT: Sorry. One of them you recognize as the
Margrave who once ruled Westruun, whose home Kevdak currently keeps as his own. And the other,
let’s see if I can recall what this one is. I have it written down here. TALIESIN: I like that this is that deep in your
notes, is which heads are on spikes. MATT: Hey, man, got to keep up with this. SAM: Appendix A: Heads on Spikes, Various. MATT: (laughs) Pretty much. SAM: Subappendix: Westruun. MATT: Ah, okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay.
Loran the Bear. Loran the Bear was a mercenary that you guys faced off with the first time that
you fought in the brawlers’ league. You guys had a playful rivalry? You kept running into each other
when looking for various– TALIESIN: It’s like a best of season one, that’s
great. SAM and TALIESIN: The season that didn’t air. MATT: But there you see him, or what remains of
him, placed on one of these weapons. It looks like anybody who has attempted to rise up or at least
make a stink about the current ruling class in Westruun have been put on display in this square
in some way, shape, or form. SAM: Are there any people? Guards? Goliaths? MATT: You see a rather heavy group of well-armored
goliaths and other savage-looking humanoid individuals. Mostly human, you see a couple
half-orcs, but it’s a total of ten of them that are all currently scattered throughout this
central area, some of them just sitting down, snacking, a few that are just keeping watch, and a
number that are hovering in and out of the door of the main area, giving orders and carrying some
small supplies around. SAM: Okay. So I’ll just quickly– are you guys
ready? MARISHA: Do we want to get up on the wall? There’s
like a wall, right, around the city? SAM: Yeah, but I’m in the center of the city. MATT: Right. Also, there’s no response. LAURA: Oh, he’s out of range. Shit. SAM: Do you know what the range is on that? MATT: The range on those earpieces are roughly two
miles. SAM: Two miles. LAURA: He’s out of two miles’ range? MATT: Well yeah, Westruun’s a pretty big town, and
it’s– LAURA: It’s a 15-minute walk, though. SAM: Yeah, I walk fast. LAURA: You’re a fast walker for a gnome. MARISHA: He really is a really fast walker. TALIESIN: Okay, go ahead. MARISHA: I cast Polymorph on Percy and turn him
into a crow. TALIESIN: (eerily good crow noise) LAURA: Oh, again with the crows. MARISHA: Also, I use my beast shape to go into a
crow. (crow noise) TALIESIN: (eerily good crow noise) MARISHA: (crow noise) TALIESIN: That’s good enough, that’s good. MARISHA: And we fly to the walls and perch on
opposite sides on the entrance. MATT: Okay. LAURA: Look, your god is here to help us. MARISHA: (crow noises) LAURA: She sounds like shit. MARISHA and TALIESIN: (a panoply of crow noises) MATT: Stop it. TALIESIN: Sorry. (laughter) TALIESIN: It’s really pleasing. MATT: All right. You guys are perched on the edges
of that. Scanlan, what’re you doing? SAM: So much. So much. LAURA: I feel like this is the first time I’ve
seen you at a loss. TRAVIS: Look at those eyes. LAURA: Oh god. TALIESIN: Don’t you want her to read the note? SAM: Yeah, I go over to where the most people are
congregated. MATT: That’s going to be right at the steps of the
Margrave’s manor. SAM: I position myself about seven feet away from
them. MATT: Okay. SAM: And I cast Thunderwave. MATT: And with that, (explosion), this burst of
thunder comes blasting out centrally from where you are located, Scanlan. The DC on this, with
your– SAM: Thunderwave. Oh, is it spell? MATT: It’s spell, what’s your DC? SAM: 20. MATT: 20. TALIESIN: Oh shit. MATT: Okay. Six fail, one succeeds on this
save. So you hit them and they’re all forced backwards, some of them up onto the stairs, some
against the wall. Roll 2d8 points of damage. LIAM: Ragdoll physics. SAM: 2d8? MATT: Mm-hmm. SAM: No, it’s– oh, that’s, you’re right. MATT: Yeah. SAM: 11 plus something? No, I guess it’s just 11. MATT: It’s just 11. All right, and one of them
takes five points of damage and (impact sound) looks down at this little gnome that’s there. SAM: No, no, I’m still invisible. It’s not a
concentration spell. MATT: Invisibility, I’m pretty sure that as soon
as you do– SAM: Oh, fuck. MATT: The spell ends for a target that attacks or
casts a spell. SAM: Casts a spell? MATT: Yeah. SAM: Even though it’s a concentration spell? MATT: Yeah, you can cast other instantaneous
spells, but as soon as you cast a spell you become visible. SAM: What? MATT: High-level invisibility, improved
invisibility is the one that remains. SAM: Oh well, I’m fucked, then. (laughter) TALIESIN: Yes! MATT: I’ll say, do you have Greater Invisibility? SAM: No. I can cast it at a greater level, but no,
I don’t have Greater Invisibility. MATT: Yeah, at that moment you suddenly become
visible. TALIESIN: Roll with it, roll with it. SAM: Hi guys. Hi. MARISHA: But you’re Scanlan, you can do this. MATT: The surprise round, they weren’t expecting
it. Roll initiative right now. MARISHA: Oh shit. LAURA: Oh my god, Scanlan, run. SAM: 16. MATT: Rolled a one. I’m rolling them group
initiative on this one, because I don’t want to roll six different initiatives in this order. They
all look at you dumbfounded. “We got an intruder!” Pull out their weapons, get ready. Two of them
(growl) at you really angrily. What are you doing? SAM: Fuck! MATT: What are you doing, Sam? SAM: This is not the plan! TALIESIN: No! No! TRAVIS: Don’t say a thing, don’t say shit. LAURA: Okay, yeah yeah, it’s all you. SAM: (mock-crying) At least I know that Pike didn’t read the
letter, though, so I’m okay. (laughter) TALIESIN: At the end of this fight, can I have
your tie? I mean, you’re not going to need it anymore. TRAVIS: Come on, what are you doing? SAM: Okay. I’ll Dimension Door into the house
where the guy’s eyeballs were. TRAVIS: Yes! I like it. MATT: Wait, on the, to the house– SAM: The house where I saw the guy who was peeking
and saw me, he saw me, I’m going in there. MATT: Oh! LAURA: What? LIAM: Smart. MATT: How far is the range on Dimension Door? SAM: 500 feet. Was that long ago or recently? MATT: Wait, so. You were peeking, are you
referring to the– SAM: The guy who saw me as invisible. MATT: Right. Okay, got you. All right, so you’re
going to that temple. That’s probably about 1000 feet from you, you can Dimension Door closer to
it. SAM: Yes, I could. I could. Okay, okay. This is
exciting, this is so exciting, nothing’s working. Okay, yes, I will go toward it 500 feet. MATT: Okay. You appear to the back end and around
the road, just around the corner from where the entrance to that area is, so you’re a little ways
away. As you appear, catching your breath, you look over your shoulder and you hear in the
distance more, a couple yells, and a bell starts going off (ringing) in the center of the town
square. SAM: It’s going great, guys. LAURA: Do we hear the bell? MATT: You guys can hear in the very distance a
series of bells beginning to go (ringing). TALIESIN: Oh, sweet Jesus. MATT: What’re you doing now? SAM: Well, they haven’t caught up to me, right? MATT: No no, you just moved 500 feet in one
second, they have no idea where you went. You just showed up, went “Bye!” and vanished out. LIAM: Bell is bad. He’s in trouble, we need to go
in now. SAM: I’m going to go again, Dimension Door into
the temple. MATT: Okay, you do see the temple. You’re on the
interior of it now, and looking inside you know a portion of it is collapsed, there’s an open view
on the second level where a whole corner of the secondary floor and first floor have fallen in,
big pile of rubble, you can see the sky. There as you appear, you look around, you hear a series of gasps as you
can now see huddled inside of this temple roughly 30 or so people, varying ages, varying racial
backgrounds. These are some of the survivors in Westruun that are keeping in here, whether it be
hidden, or at least this is where they live now. They look in various states of personal brutality
that’s been put against them, some of them are wounded, a few of them draw weapons immediately,
and turning around, you see hunkered down inside a half-orc that rushes around, his hat half-kilter,
his coat up with his shoulder, mantle part of his collar pressed upward, spins around, puts his
blade out. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Scanlan Shorthalt.” SAM: That’s me. MATT: As Dr. Dranzel stands there before you. (cheering) MATT: They themselves look a little worse for
wear, and he looks over his shoulder and says, “Well shit, Kaylie, weren’t you just talking about
him yesterday?” As your daughter stands behind him, holding two of the children, trying to
protect them as you appeared. She looks up at you and goes, “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” And that’s where we’ll end tonight’s game. (yelling) TRAVIS: Perfect! Perfect, perfect. TALIESIN: Put that on like a Japanese
businessman. LIAM: By the way, this one, under her breath,
goes, “Oh I don’t like him, he stole from me.” SAM: That’s all you can think about? LAURA: Why am I cheering? He stole from us. SAM: They’re going to fucking save my life. LIAM: Well, maybe he needed it to save the world. MATT: It’s all survival. All right, then we’ll
pick it up from there next week. TRAVIS: Jesus. That was a hell of a 50th. Fuck’s
sake! TALIESIN: Why did we even bother to plan? TALIESIN and MARISHA: Why do we even bother to
plan? TRAVIS: It’s going perfect! It’s going perfectly.
We are still on the rails. It is working. TALIESIN: We are still on the rails, it’ll be
great. MARISHA: I spent a 6th-level spell building that
trench, it had better come in handy. ASHLEY: It will, it will. TALIESIN: We’re all going to fall and die in it,
it’s going to be great. LIAM: Scanlan is drunken master. MATT: All righty, guys, we’re going to go ahead
and take a few minutes here to hunker down and prepare for the savage unwrapping of many presents
that you, the community of Critical Role, have put in our direction. All of us so eternally
undeserving, but so incredibly appreciative of all that you guys do, both to help with the charities
that we support and spend your time being so awesome and creative and we’re going to go ahead
and– SAM: Matt, though, but what are we going to do
with the minutes while we’re not on camera right now? How do we fill the airtime? MATT: We’ll, I’m sure, have a few videos to show
that may also include our new intro. TALIESIN, MARISHA, and LAURA: Again! Again! MARISHA: We’re mainly doing this for our own
selfishness. [end of transcript]

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Deborah Elder August 5, 2019 at 9:18 pm


    The oldest Vax will ever be…

  • Reply ASquared August 6, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    I’m frustrated they didn’t remember the Vestige they got from the Sphinx, which is a sword
    Edit: Actually, I’m starting to think Matt forgot about the sword as well, which sucks

  • Reply The oG Funk August 7, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    i know im late, but does anyone else love the fact that keyleth is not practical, but morally correct. while Percy is practical and throwing away morality. it makes Keyleth annoying to me because i side with percy, but it adds a whole new dynamic, one to where she can grow and become a smarter leader not just a morally good one.

  • Reply Griffin Files August 7, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    Several years late but I've reached episode 50 ! slowly but surely I'm catching up !

  • Reply Philip Whitaker III August 8, 2019 at 1:37 am

    of course you support Planed Parent Hood your characters have all ready murdered kids

  • Reply Huw Pople August 10, 2019 at 10:58 am

    Regardless of their relative ages, I always see Pike as Grog's big sister and Scanlan as Grog's "cool" older cousin.

  • Reply Uhh Ok August 10, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    Its so funny to me to see the problems in C1 that led to the solutions in C2. In this episode specifically the identify spell lol

  • Reply chrysanthemum ! August 11, 2019 at 2:38 am

    i got tired of scrolling don't @ me

    0:19 New intro!
    8:00 – Oh and Ashley is here, if you hadn't noticed

    11:12 – …and then Ashely offends an entire continent

    13:07 – Can I get a CRIT ROLL?!?!

    16:37 – Part 1 begins

    19:16 – Recap ends

    21:22 – Grog apologizes to Pike <3

    25:12 – Grog Rests

    26:14 – So Hungry

    29:03 – Honesty

    29:29 – Bad Luck

    30:25 – Disbelief

    32:29 – Begining's of Acceptence

    33:40 – Percy takes craven edge

    34:10 – Pike To The Rescue

    36:08 – Vex gives Grog the one thing he loves almost as much as Pike

    37:18 – Vax's Plea

    39:35 – Only Vox Machina would consider giving drinks to a dead person a good way to heal them 😉

    40:40 – The Result

    41:10 – Percy Vs. Craven Edge

    42:15 – Rage

    43:10 – Awakening

    48:40 – Vax Lashs Out

    53:15 – The Plea

    55:30 – Percy's Ideas aren't always genius

    57:20 – Pike keeps trying convince the group that she should try Greater Restoration (spoiler-she's right)

    59:30 – Pike's Greater Restoration

    1:00:13 – Scanlan Inspires Pike

    1:00:53 – Pike Casts Her Spell

    1:01:46 – Pike vs Craven Edge

    1:03:09 – Pike's Reaction

    1:03:16 – Truth

    1:04:10 – The Power of the Druid

    1:05:00 – Good Time For A Joke

    1:05:15 – Making Camp

    1:06:45 – Pike Kite

    1:07:51 – It's been a traumatic five minutes

    1:11:00 – There are other numbers

    1:12:22 – The Full Sheet

    1:13:07 – An Old Friend

    1:17:25 – Stealth Check

    1:34:17 – Break Ends

    1:38:09 – You don't question the DM

    1:48:35 – Scanlan Grants…

    1:57:47 – Actions Have Consequences

    2:00:00 – Consequences Revealed

    2:01:30 – Talk About Reprecusions

    2:03:35 – Ashley needs to feel more confident about her ideas IMO. They're often good!

    2:04:24 – A Dark Conversation

    2:07:35 – Feels

    2:12:47 – Now reaching housewares, spell scrolls

    2:14:50 – The Letter

    2:15:25 – Sneaky Pike

    2:16:50 – The Dragon Cometh

    2:23:21 – There are no bad ideas when we're workshopping

    2:24:08 – Scanlan's the Master Impersonator

    2:28:05 – When You Can't Remember Your Dad's Name…

    2:49:11 – Matt's notes are extensive

    2:52:48 – The first time Scanlan has ever been at a loss for what to do (also, it all goes to shit)

    2:59:15 – What are the chances?


    3:49:43 – Matthew's eyes are gonna pop out!!

    5:09:42 – Umbrasy

  • Reply Joey August 13, 2019 at 3:26 am

    I want a buddy cop film starring Pike and Grog.

  • Reply Joey August 13, 2019 at 4:02 am

    I can't help but feel the broom is going to suffer some sort of horrible accident in the future.

  • Reply Jazz August 14, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    What the hell did Taliesin open at 3:54:46 ?

  • Reply Nitewulf August 15, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Maybe it's because I've been binging these non-stop but I don't see how they are meta-gaming? Multiple members of the party have not only touched the sword and heard the voice, but have told the others to keep an eye on Grog. They know in-universe that something's weird with the sword. It's entirely logical for them to take the sword away from from him if he suddenly falls over dead. Meta-gaming has happened in the game, which is normal and understandable because people make mistakes, but this is not one of those cases.

  • Reply james d August 18, 2019 at 3:28 am

    That intro tho

  • Reply Reblwitoutacause August 18, 2019 at 7:21 am

    2:11:40 a Rogue farting in the night…

    The very definition of “Silent, but deadly”

  • Reply Alkatron August 22, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Too bad I got spoiled by the playlist

  • Reply AmigoRoberto August 25, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    Update! That blade is totally *evil*!

  • Reply johnbiggscr August 26, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    He’s dead
    …i have greater restoration.
    He’s dead
    ….cure wounds. No, that won’t do anything.
    You know that’s he’s lying lifeless, he is dead.
    ….(eventually)…oh oh I have revivify!
    (Ffs Ashley, learn your character, it’s been a year.)

  • Reply TwinerJack August 27, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Matt: "Grog… that fucking blade… ate your soul!"
    I got shivers everytime i hear that 😀

  • Reply cplmagnum August 31, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Aug 31 2019 Episode 50. one day i will be caught up

  • Reply LoopDeLoop September 2, 2019 at 2:28 am

    When they were using Speak With Dead on Reginald and thinking up the last question to ask, and Sam came out with the "What do you want us to tell your daughter?" that hit me hard man. Usually DnD parties, even this one, are so clinical about information gathering and pragmatic about their decisions. While it's super fun to watch Percy or Vex cleverly step around in that way, seeing Scanlan or Vax do something impulsive and emotionally motivated is just as good.

  • Reply TheGryphon42 H September 2, 2019 at 10:29 am

    What happened to the vestige that was given by the Sphinx in the last episode

  • Reply morgan benedict September 2, 2019 at 5:50 pm

    Anyone else realize that they got a relic from the Sphinx last episode

  • Reply Alex Jobe September 3, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    I am sooo confused. I thought Percy lost his demon?!?!?

  • Reply Hey Fam September 4, 2019 at 4:36 am

    Old Vax:
    * Sneaks up on ork *

    Knee cap:
    * Creaks * … "God damn arthritis!!"

  • Reply Thomas Iman September 4, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Spoiler: Travis loves having Cursed Items…. Jsing You're welcome 😀

  • Reply Bog_Guy or dragonclae September 8, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    Ashley looks like Daenerys Targaryen!

  • Reply Dustyn September 10, 2019 at 4:26 am

    People in the know know how fucked up marisha's joke at 24:30ish turns out to be.

  • Reply M Balazs September 10, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    26:11 smaller this word spells tragedy for all man XD
    29:16 Grog & Craven edge XD
    1:04:55 aww my 3th favorite character from the team got removed 🙁 ..pore Craven edge

  • Reply Raymon Holt September 10, 2019 at 6:31 pm

    6 hour video, must be a pretty epic battle. As a hint of battle begins…

    Critmas Time! 3 hours of gifts.

  • Reply M Balazs September 10, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    1:13:28 I have to agree the best thing in a cursed or magical relic is it can talk to you 😀

  • Reply M Balazs September 11, 2019 at 9:20 am

    2:15:31 Lesson kids never write down things and give it to anyone if yu dont want them to read them. Love is no insurance that you target of affection can be trusted.
    and in that letter

  • Reply Kody Geddes September 12, 2019 at 2:40 am

    So does grog now have a complex about weapons having voices now?

  • Reply White American Male September 12, 2019 at 5:05 am

    Daily reminder that this campaign is dumb as shit

  • Reply Elysia447 September 12, 2019 at 6:37 am

    grog: i want to defeat him the right way
    grog, 3 minutes later: while i'm doing that, what if we like, cheat?? ??

  • Reply Bryan Cary September 12, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Last I checked. One level of Exhaustion only gives disadvantage on ability checks. Saving Throws are NOT ability checks. It's not until level 3 Exhaustion is there disadvantage on Saving Throws. The whole thing with Grog should not have happened even though it made for good story.

  • Reply Maddi Harris September 13, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    So close to catching up!!!

  • Reply Robert Williams September 14, 2019 at 1:12 am

    That new intro….if that was a teaser trailer for a show that I knew nothing about, it would instantly go on my list of must watch shows at once. The best part about it to me is you can tell they are enjoying themselves, getting their geek on.

  • Reply Manaphy099 September 14, 2019 at 4:59 am

    Spoilers for the end of campaign 1

    The start of this episode is the oldest vax will ever be ;-;

  • Reply AmBird WantSeedos September 15, 2019 at 3:02 am

    Taliesin’s reaction to that glass dropping is me to reacting any surprising noise

  • Reply Z-nyx Kibishīdesu September 15, 2019 at 6:25 am


  • Reply DrewblesRocks September 15, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    I would just like to say that I LOVE Ashley's "Yeah" that is all.

  • Reply ArcanaFox September 18, 2019 at 4:12 am

    Am I the only one who is reminded by the new opening of the old Xena/Hercules shows back in the day?

  • Reply John Speck September 20, 2019 at 3:12 pm

    Pass without Trace only get bonus within 30' of caster. You should redo this episode.

  • Reply rainbowdash 1175 September 20, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    Episode 50 mark!😁

  • Reply Cobhalla Games September 21, 2019 at 1:52 pm

    Damn, that into gave me chills

  • Reply OverTheYears September 23, 2019 at 1:43 am

    Let's raise are glasses and spirts to reginal eh? He made of took the job of a farmer. But he was a true hero, farther and solider!

  • Reply Alphtheo R. September 23, 2019 at 5:45 am

    If you are curious about craven edge, after…that, i found an item sheat on the wiki? Dont know if its accurate, but it sated my curiosity…for now

  • Reply Terra Estrahl September 24, 2019 at 3:30 am

    The freeze frame around 1:49:00 is hilarious. xD

  • Reply nuru666 September 24, 2019 at 4:15 am

    Am I the only one who finds Felicia REALLY annoying….?

  • Reply clara x September 25, 2019 at 2:13 am

    I would so do the great pirate of Roberts.

    Pike on top of either vax or piercys shoulder, looking like grogs dad with giant cloak on both of them .

    But im in the middle of the episode and delighted to see how their plan is going to pan out

  • Reply Magnadra September 28, 2019 at 1:01 pm

    The Pike Frase: I am… yes. is somewhat iconic for her character

  • Reply Lila Taylor October 1, 2019 at 3:23 am

    Travis was sublime in this episode. He kows exactly how to RP his character, how far to go, and when to give up and let something go. Amazing.

  • Reply John Johnsin October 3, 2019 at 12:06 am

    I will grant you cock lightning. – Scanlan 2016

  • Reply Philip Holt October 5, 2019 at 5:01 am


  • Reply TheBigHomieDan October 5, 2019 at 6:15 am

    was this campaign all written by mercer?

  • Reply CBear October 6, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    Grog the Protector of Gnomes

  • Reply Maple October 8, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    god damn. that medal video made me cry so much all the way back from 2016. i… i love yall

  • Reply ACEL713 October 10, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    2:54:35 You can always leave it to Sam to screw up the whole plan. Every single time.

  • Reply lllRichBoi84 October 14, 2019 at 2:21 am

    EPISODE 50!! Almost half way through campaign 1!!!

  • Reply Ryan de Kwaadsteniet October 16, 2019 at 1:12 pm

    I cried watching that intro…

  • Reply TheGhostKnight October 17, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    (eerily good crow noise)

  • Reply Shannon Blake October 18, 2019 at 11:13 pm

    That opening was awesome! 😆😆😆 Scanlan was the best part lolol

  • Reply Morkdrage October 19, 2019 at 12:51 am

    I love Critmas. It's so wholesome watching the cast and crew receive love from the community x3, it makes me so happy just watching their reactions xD

  • Reply Hubbelbu October 20, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    What a way to start off episode 50, damn, and amazing acting from Travis, once again! What an exciting episode, really! Looking forward to the next 50! Slowly, slowly progressing through campaign 1 and it's so much fun 😊😊😊

  • Reply Jack Mack October 21, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    Who else wanted to see lich grog

  • Reply olga1231 October 23, 2019 at 11:21 pm

    Before DnDbeyond and Sam there was Wyrmwood and Liam

  • Reply Zach Bitner October 26, 2019 at 1:14 am

    When they were running away from Basaliscks it reminded me of older Scooby doo. Lol

  • Reply Colton Laws October 26, 2019 at 3:53 am

    Is it just me or does Liam look a lot like Elrond in the intro video?

  • Reply Laura Guebert October 26, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    I'm not sure if this could be construed as a spoiler, but I'll post a warning here anyway:

    We have very little information on the god that the Raven Queen replaced, let alone when this happened, but I'm curious if this action was done because that god was or became a Betrayer God? Well, I just looked up some more about the Betrayer Gods and they were around long before that I think. Still, I'm very very curious what happened to that god because they can't be destroyed.

  • Reply Jeffrey Bomba October 29, 2019 at 9:00 pm

    It seems to me so far that Gorg's sword is more powerful than the vestiges.

  • Reply Jeffrey Bomba October 29, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    As they were doing the revivify ritual I saw shouting, "put some boobs in his face!"

  • Reply xWinterWolfx7 October 30, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    "Let's pretend we're us and this plan is gonna go to shit then what do we do"
    5 minutes later:
    Scanlan unintentionally reappears after attacking a group

  • Reply Gris-C October 31, 2019 at 12:20 am

    Should send it to the angle realm

  • Reply FLUXXEUS October 31, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    I love that intro, I wonder how Tiberius would have looked like if he was still here 🤔😂

  • Reply Splatninja November 1, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    Man that new intro is so badass

  • Reply The Wasted Wanderer November 1, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    Fucking rude how they just ignored the damned hammer that was crafted for Grog by a guest. Absolutely ridiculous.

  • Reply Space ace November 2, 2019 at 9:17 am

    that intro video was so AMAZING!!!!

  • Reply Space ace November 2, 2019 at 10:07 am

    "Horses don't steal swords, Grog!"
    horse voice: "i wanna steal"

  • Reply LoLotov November 3, 2019 at 9:14 am

    Not even going to read if other comments mention it, tal whispering to sam about their illusion plans and Sam's grin steadily growing wider as he hears more detail made me insanely happy.

  • Reply No One November 4, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    I would defend scanlin polymorphing to Goliath the identify as a heard they count as beast lol

  • Reply Kei Romenan November 5, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Wait…vax has long hair?

  • Reply Gavin Goins November 7, 2019 at 2:49 am

    Yes the visual we all needed, Scanlan and his lightning cock magic

  • Reply Stephen Oswald November 7, 2019 at 4:19 am

    It upsets me that they never identify anything.

  • Reply RussellMovieMaker November 7, 2019 at 8:22 pm

    I know it's been over 3 years but DAMN that intro is FIRE! I particularly like when Laura shoots the woman who then reveals itself to be Matt. If they ever make it into a movie, i would for sure watch it. The cinematics are AMAZING 👀🙌

  • Reply Rose November 7, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    I'm just watching this episode as suddenly I hear Ashley talking, except it's not from my laptop. I turn to see that Blindspot is on tv. Coincidence? I think not!

  • Reply Asger rasmussen November 8, 2019 at 5:25 pm


  • Reply DragonWolf97 Legacy November 9, 2019 at 2:02 am

    The critical roll team debating on How to infiltrait with minor illusion
    Me: screaming at my monitor

  • Reply dim itri November 11, 2019 at 5:14 am

    can anyone tell me if the shadow thing that percy does is an actuall spell or feat i would love it for one of my characters seeing he's been ''cursed'' in a way

  • Reply ryaku5 November 11, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    How do you wanna do this?

  • Reply K FC November 14, 2019 at 12:35 am

    oh god, I wanted Sam to say "catch me outside" after the thunder wave so bad…

  • Reply Philip Delara November 15, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    The new intro is amazing!…Scanlan…no words…no words. Also, yes, yes I did replay 1:50 – 1:54 multiple times to see everyone's reactions. I love these guys.

  • Reply Selim Tuncel November 17, 2019 at 12:33 am

    They all should have been dead so many times its hilarious. And maybe a smidgen aggravating.

  • Reply stavrophore November 17, 2019 at 3:38 am

    omg 50 episodes in we get a dope af intro checks playlist only 91 eps left and then campaign 2 lmaoo

  • Reply Alan Burgos November 17, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    When Grog makes his statement about not feeling shame about getting help from his new family it was so powerful. His dedication to the group is great

  • Reply Ethan Peterson November 22, 2019 at 3:02 am

    Honestly Matt's mini addiction might be the best part of Critmas. It's so much fun to watch

  • Reply Old Man Xanditz November 24, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    Goosebumps!!!! Awesome new intro!!!!

  • Reply mark stj November 24, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    The intro is beyond amazing. Can’t believe it’s already 50 episodes

  • Reply Ethan Peterson November 24, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    5:12:51 What do you mean "not tonight," Matt?! Y'all start streaming at 7, it would have been 1 AM on Friday already.

  • Reply Bogdan Ban November 28, 2019 at 6:27 am

    i will grant you cock lightning!!! :)))

  • Reply Christopher Armstrong November 30, 2019 at 12:01 am

    Holy crap I love Ashley! I mean I love them all but she is just so damn lovable.

  • Leave a Reply