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1989-0709 Radha Krishna Puja Talk, The Importance Of Friendship, France, DP-RAW

October 11, 2019


I am really over-delighted that in France
we have so many visitors as well as French Sahaja Yogis for this Puja. That shows the
collectivity. The collectivity which attracts all of you from all over the places, and that
you try to enjoy that collectivity. But the basis of collectivity, the foundation of collectivity
is very deep. And the deep understanding can only tell you that the basis of collectivity
is detached love. Love is the only way. It’s not possible to have collectivity unless and
until you have detached love. French have been good at so many types of love that they
have been talking about. And they have written books after books, novels after novels and
have created lots of romantic and unromantic and all kinds of atmospheres to talk of love.
But the pure love as we understand in Sahaja Yoga is to be now expressed by Sahaja Yogis
among themselves. After all, we are all human beings made by
one God. And that we are all Sahaja Yogis created by one Mother. So there should be
no misunderstanding between us of any kind. But we must know what sometimes makes us little
different. If we can understand the problems that we face, then it would be much easier
for us to see why our love becomes so attached and not so detached. Starts becoming smaller
and smaller, then a person just starts loving oneself only. One of the main reasons that
we have this problem is because of our conditionings. We are conditioned the way that we don’t know
how to love. When I see the advertisements in the West,
I don’t know from where the West starts and where it ends and from where the East ends.
They talk of West and East, but I don’t know which is the demarcating line. Can anybody
tell Me that? Where do we start East and West, because it’s one round world, you see? (Laughter)
But somehow or other there is some line, unknown line, underlying line which creates sometimes
this East and West – two types of conditionings. So, when I see some advertisements they show
about, recently I saw, about James Bond that he is free to kill and the best film for revenge
– this is the advertisement. If revenge is the best way of fulfillment, then how can
we love someone? So, this kind of conditioning comes to us from outside. That we should not
forgive anyone, we should take the revenge. And if you do not take the revenge then you
are not worthy your name. So, if you cannot take the revenge, like a duel that they used
to have in France quite a lot between the two persons. They would take two guns and
kill each other. I mean, what a stupid idea it was! Just think of it in modern times.
But it was so. So, if the revenge is not taken then it was
thought to be something very sly, very low level. So, a person must take revenge. History
shows also the same things that one had to take a revenge of another person who has harmed
you in any way, troubled you. I think it’s the quality of a snake, they say. That if
you step onto any snake, it follows you all his life to take the revenge. The only thing
that it does all its life is to run after that person who has by mistake put the foot
on its body. In the same way a human endeavor, I have seen in so many novels it’s suggested
how a man gets after a person who has some way or other harmed. If we go on like this,
there’s no end to it. Firstly, it is absolutely absurd. For that, I will give you an example of Buddha,
very much I have been impressed by the way He said once to somebody who insulted Him
and abused Him and said all kinds of horrible words. Then Buddha went to another village.
Now, this fellow felt the remorse and he went back, and back, and said, “Sir, I’m sorry.
I have said these things to you. I’m really very sorry.” He said, “What? When?” He said,
“Yesterday.” He said, “Yesterday is finished now. You are now with Me today. So, why are
you talking about yesterday? It’s finished.” So, with this kind of idea that somebody has
harmed us, somebody is horrid to us we linger on in the past. Now, I’m told they are celebrating the French
Revolution that took place. If you ask Me there was no need to have revolution of that
kind to kill Marie Antoinette. It was not necessary. If they had killed or not killed,
it would have been all right. But they had to kill her. Why? Because according to them
she spent lot of money in Versailles and created some beautiful furniture. Today only they
are showing that furniture only. What is there to show in this France? As soon as you come,
they say, “Have you seen her palace?” I said, “Really?” First time when I came to France, this was
the first question. “You must go and see this. Impossible, you cannot get such beautiful
things anywhere created. It’s an impossible situation.” I said, “Impossible?” “Yes, because
you cannot make such nice things.” She made such nice beautiful things. She was
not going to carry it with her. Now, when you murdered her, then you ask Me to go and
see those beautiful things. We have to learn from history that it was stupid to kill her.
What was the need to kill her? When you have taken over the government, all right, stop
at that point and then you start governing. With that revolution you think world has improved
for us? Anywhere in the world, do you think things have improved? Also, the
revolution should have been to change the
government. All right! But to go to that limit was not necessary. So, the second conditioning that comes to
us that we cross all limits of humanity when we take revenge. They would not have been
satisfied that she was still living. “Oh God, we have to kill her!” Of course, I don’t say
that somebody who has done any harm to the country, to the nation, should be allowed
to go on like that. But how far you go with that is to be seen. So, the wisdom of Sahaja
Yoga is in understanding the limitations up to which you can go to express your anger,
to express your revenge, so called, on anyone whatsoever. But the best thing would be to
leave it to the Divine power, because everything is done by Divine power. We all exist inside
the Divine power. We cannot think of anything else of that kind. I cannot give you an analogy
how Divine power works. For example, if there were no rays of the sun coming out of the
sun, staying inside the sun, and all things working out, then we would have said, “It’s
something like Divine power.” Nothing is outside that, everything is inside. And this Divine
power is the power of compassion and love, which does everything. But when we take up
responsibility, and when we decide we have to do something, and that we are something,
and try to go against that Divine power, we become stupid people as we have seen. So,
to leave it in the hands of Divine power, and to be just an instrument of that Divine
power is the way a Sahaja Yogi has to be. Because the compassion, the love of Divine
power is so great that it is wisdom, complete wisdom. A person who has no compassion cannot
be wise. He could be worldly wise but he could not be really wise. So, those who believe
that they have to be – they have to be very accurate must know that your accuracy will
be challenged by the Divine power. There has to be lot of relaxed and a mobile temperament
a person should have. For example, now I have come, suddenly perhaps
you were not told, people were not ready absolutely in the formal manner, lined up together like
a military. It’s all right, makes no difference. Makes no difference. I am in no way disturbed,
no way unhappy. I was very happy to see you all. Because after all, you all love Me and
I love you. It’s a family and there’s nothing like being very formal about things. No formality
between you and God Almighty, there cannot be. But there has to be understanding as to
what we are doing. I find suddenly human beings either become extremely relaxed, extremely
lazy, extremely confused. You ask them their name, they’ll say ten times,
“Ah … Ah”. I said, “What’s your name?” They will say, “Ah …”. “I just asked your name.”
“What You asked me, my name?” “Yes, your name.” “Ah, I see.” (Shri Mataji laughing & laughter) So the – I mean, least bothered as to even
remember your own name or to say it. Like a drug acting on that person. That’s going
too far. Another style is where too much of formalities. That, supposing now, Mother is
coming and we have to give Her something, and something is missing. All right, doesn’t
matter. After all, this is Paris. Lots of things were missing once upon a time. If there
is something missing, doesn’t matter. It’s not so important, you should not be in tension.
If you are in tension you cannot absorb My vibrations. Or if you are lethargic also you
cannot absorb My vibrations. So, you have to be in the center. Center, in a receptive
mood like a child is that you have to absorb the vibrations with that feeling of expectation
and joy. We have to receive Mother. But not with tension that, “This is not done, that
is not done.” I see each and every thing so beautifully done. So beautiful are these flowers,
everything done so well! And so many ideas. I can see them so clearly.
It’s all expressive of not your tension but your love. So, are we expressing our love
or our tension? What is that we are doing? Are we trying to be tense because we are over-alert,
or we are trying to neglect everything because we want to escape? Between the two lies Sahaja
Yoga. You are very anxious, very much waiting. You want to do something with your heart and
then, when there is fulfillment, you can enjoy. But you are tense, I come in, what I find
you all have headaches. So, first I have to tell you, “Remove your headaches first, then
I’ll talk to you.” So, it has to be a very relaxed rapport between us, but relaxed never
means lethargic. It doesn’t mean, if you are lethargic you’ll be sleeping off and nothing
will go onto your ears. So, what we see that our conditioning, one
conditioning we have that either we want people to be over-alert or we want that they should
not be at all alert. So, the underlying problem of all these things is this – that we want
extremes. In our conditionings we go to extremes. We go to extremes of this or extremes of that.
If you are absolutely lethargic, lenient, disheveled, we can say absolutely confused,
you are not in the center. And on the contrary, if you are very strict, like a Rock of Gibraltar
and after all like a big Hitler-like behavior -“You should be in time, everybody must have
proper steps, must walk properly.” That’s not being Sahaj. That’s not being Sahaj. Now, look at these flowers. See one by one
how beautiful they are. Everyone is different, even one leaf of one flower will not match
with another. One petal won’t match with another. They’re all different, but so relaxed, creating
beauty, giving us so much of joy. All different. Placed in different manner, moving in different
manner. Everyone has a different angle. But there is unison. There is oneness in them
that they all want to give us joy. But with tension you cannot give joy. I mean if there
is somebody tense, I think I better run away from that person. God knows if he is tense,
if the tension increases he might beat you. (Shri Mataji laughing) Or might throw you
out, or might himself be hurt. So, the tension part of it is very common in the West and
that conditioning has come because of certain lifestyles that we have had. Now, there’s not going to be a war of Waterloo
anymore. So, we can say that Waterloo war was won because they reached in time. That’s
not the thing. The war was won because it was to be won by the Divine power. Even if
they had reached late, they would have won it. Whatever happens is by the Divine power.
So, there is no need to be tense. Then you will say, “All right. Then, let us sit down
and have a nice time. Everything will be done by the Divine power.” No! Divine power is
going to work through your institutions, through your medium. So, you have to be alert. I hope you understand what I am trying to
say – that a person who is relaxed need not be a person who is lethargic, but alert. Alert
you can be as well as you can be relaxed because you are Sahaja Yogis. You are not like other
people. Other people, you take the name of the airport and I don’t know what goes wrong
in their brains. Suddenly, they go off. They are off their heads, they go mad. Like today,
we were going to the airport. Thank God everything – nobody was on the road. “They must be having
these hangovers”, I said, “last night. And today that the streets were all right.” I
said, “Let’s go easily. After all, there is no program.” At home everybody was thinking I’ll be late.
I said, “I am not going to be late.” We reached there. There was a big queue. And nobody could
get into the plane because there was such a big queue. Nobody could even book the seat.
So, what was the need to be tense? And supposing you are tense, take a position. And then you
do not get the plane. So what? At the most only there is one mishappening, which is going
to take place, is our death. That is inevitable. Because we are born, so this body has to die.
That’s all! The rest of it is just a joke. So, even if you are tense or not tense makes
no difference. I think sometimes people stand at the same point and start running thinking
they are going to the airport. (Laughter) No movement – tense. So, first of all we have
to know that if we can reduce our tensions, heart will open. Heart has to open. After
all, we are now in the ocean of joy and bliss. Why should we have any tension? But when we
are in the ocean of joy and bliss, we are not drowning. We are swimming, so we have
to swim. And this part, I think is not understood by many people. Now, we have conditionings of countries, of
different, different styles. Every country has different styles of conditionings. Let’s
think of France has got conditionings that you should never look happy. (Laughter) You
can make out a French man. A French lady sitting in front of Me, she was looking so miserable,
I was about to ask, “Who has died in your family?” (Laughter) She was well dressed.
She had made all make-up, hairstyle, everything fine she must have been. But her face was
so miserable that I didn’t understand how these two things combine. She has taken good
care to look, appear very nice with her paints and all that, and here she is looking so miserable.
She’s put up a show that she was very miserable. Now, the conditioning is so stupid, so stupid
that according to them whatever is ugly has become beautiful. The ugliest of ugly women
they’ll choose and give her the first prize as the beautiest. I don’t know for what, which
angle they saw this lady that they called her beauty. You’ll find the lady is caught
up, she is bhootish, giving horrible vibrations and they say, “She is beauty.” So, because of this tensed oblique visions
that we have either this way or this way, we never see the reality. And, what we accept
is absolutely whatever is unreal and worry about it. It’s like a bubble. We are worried
about a bubble, as if it’s an atomic bomb or hydrogen bomb. So, unimportant things we
worry so much. As a result of that, when we worry, worry, worry, anybody who comes near
us, we jump on that person. What are you worried about? What’s the problem? I tell you the
only worry I have, if I have any, is this: that My children should love each other. So,
I talk of friendship – is to have a friend. If we have worries, we always tell to our
friends but not to persons of acquaintance. If you have problems, we’ll never tell it
to somebody who we just know by-the-way, but to our friends, and so friendship. Even if
you are a leader, you are a friend of the people. Friendship is such that you could share your
secrets, you could share your problems. You do that with Me. And why not with each other?
It’s a question of understanding that Sahaja Yogis are all really friends to each other.
I think relationship of friendship is even higher than any other relationship we could
think of, because there is nothing to be gained out of our friendship. It never ceases and
you just enjoy the friendship, that’s all. Then you can pull each other’s legs, sometimes.
You could be little joking with another person, making fun of another person. It’s all right,
it’s friendship. But this is the purest form of understanding our relationships with each
other. And a friend is the one who is always, for no rhyme and reason, concerned about his
friend. Before Sahaja Yoga, you could have only one friend or at the most two. Three
meant a crowd, cannot have three persons as your friends. But in Sahaja Yoga we are all
friends, pure friendship. Friendship of a very beautiful nature – that you enjoy the
joy of another person. In vibrations you do. If you feel the vibrations of another Sahaja
Yogi, you really enjoy. I have seen this kind of friendship when we
were young because that time people were more open hearted as my father had his friends.
He was a very orthodox Brahmin, a friend of his and he was the chairman of an organization
all over the country. And the school that, one of the schools where I was studying, that
organization was running. So, he was the big boss in that school. So, My father had to
go for a case far away and he took all his family and he sent Me to the hostel. He wrote
to his friend that, “I’m going away and my daughter has to appear for her final exams.
But I’m sorry I had to go, taking my family with me. But this is a nice chance.” So, the friend wrote, “All right, doesn’t
matter. You can go away. I’m going to look after your daughter.” He came down and he stayed in the hostel.
Took a room there in the hostel. We all were there. He was a Brahmin, he would not touch
an egg. He was a Brahmin. But he knew that I eat eggs and I am a non-veg. So, this was
about summertime had started. But he would still put on his overcoat or a raincoat and
walk out. I don’t know from where he used to get eggs in the morning, bring it in his
room because it was a Brahmin school, and secretly cook the eggs for Me, and then he
would call Me, and give Me the eggs to eat. I said, “I don’t need them.” “No, no, no you
have to have. You know, Your father has gone away, I have to look after You.” So sweetly! And he was the head of heads there,
breaking his own rules and regulations for Me that he was making non-veg food. (Shri
Mataji laughing) And then he would take all the, see, shells of the eggs in a paper, put
it in the pocket in a big overcoat, walked out and throw them somewhere. Then he would
come with Me to leave Me for My exams. Evening again, he was there, waiting for Me. He was
such a big man, such a great man, very much respected. I mean, he was the head of the
heads. And everyday I was very much surprised at
this friendship. And nothing – I mean, I didn’t see them talking about anything or I mean,
they had nothing in common as such. Was just friendship! My father was a literary person,
as you know, and this one was a social worker. I mean there was, My father was busy with
politics. And such friends I have seen, My father would go to jail, so his friends would
come and take us away to their houses and their wives will look after us, give us bath.
No difference. I never felt any difference between their children and Me. Moreover, we
felt that they were looking after us more than their own children. First they will give
us bath. In friendship one can really enjoy! You need
a very large heart to be a friend, very large heart. If you look after your own child, support
your own child then you are a gone case for Sahaja Yoga, but if you have that kind of
a largeness of friendship. There is a nice story My father used to tell
us about friends because My brother was, had lots of friends, they used to go about gallivanting,
this, that. And then used to always criticize that what father your friends come in. They
just look after your lawn sometimes because somebody is fond of lawn. Then another does
that. And you don’t people discuss, argue anything – just, I don’t know how you enjoy
each other’s company. He said, “No, we talk, it’s not that. No,
no, we enjoy very much.” So, My father told him, “All right, I will tell you a story”. That there was a father who had a friend and
the son had a friend. Modern times, I mean modern these days is also old times, I should
say. So, the father said to the son that, “You see, friendship is where you can always
rely on your friend and your friend can rely on you.” He said, “Really?” “Yes”, he said so. “Oh,
my friends I can rely”, the boy said, “I can rely on my friends”. He said “Really?” “Yes.” So, father said, “All right, let’s test your
friends and my friends.” So, they went down, they asked. The father
went with the son, and went to these friends of the son. And the son thought – he told
the son that, “You have to say that I have murdered someone and help me.” He said, “All
right”. So, they went to one friend. That friend said,
“You murdered? Baba, you get out!” He closed the door. Another one they went to, he closed
the door. Third one he said, “No, no don’t say that you have come to my house. I have
nothing to do with you.” All his twenty friends said, “No”. He said, “All right, now let me go to one
friend of mine.” They went there. So, they knocked at the door, knocked at the door.
Door would not open. Then he shouted, “I am here.” So, the boy started saying, “Look at
this. Your friend is not even coming.” He said, “No, no, no, just wait and see.” So, about ten minutes later the friend came
and opened the door, and took him inside. “What’s the matter?” He said, “You know I have murdered somebody”
– the father said – “and so we have come to you for help”. “I knew something must be there because why
will you come at this hour? So, I was collecting all the ornaments of my wife. I mean, if you
need money, I better give you the ornaments. So, that’s why I was late.” “But”, he said, “if you have murdered, it
doesn’t matter. Now, you’ve got children, I don’t have. So, you better tell them I have
murdered. Tell me how the murder took place, I’ll take the murder upon myself.” And the
son was surprised. He said, “No, take this.” Then the father said, “See now, this is my
friend. You had twenty friends and I have only one friend. This is his friendship.” And this kind of a friendship, we Sahaja Yogis
should have. I mean with a friend you cannot be tense. Cannot be. That is first sign. And
with your friend sitting there, you won’t doze off, and you won’t sleep. But you enjoy. Once I was traveling by train and we had two
compartments. So, in one compartment myself and one old lady were there. I mean, I was
older than her but she though she was older. And she was trying to sleep. And in the other
compartment were two friends. They had met. Ahh! So they were enjoying. He was hitting
him and he was hitting him. He said, “Aye, you!” And like that going on. So, this lady said, “Look at these people.
They are not allowing us to sleep.” So she went and shouted at them, “Will you stop this
nonsense? What is going on?” He said, “We have met after a long time, you
see, so, we are enjoying.” She said, “This is not the way. Why are you
hitting each other if you are enjoying? And don’t talk loudly.” She went away. Then I went and said, “Now, you shout. I am
here. Don’t say anything. I’ll lock the door. This lady won’t come.” They were surprised.
I said, “I am enjoying the way you are enjoying each other.” They said, “You don’t want to
sleep?” “No, no, I want to hear what you say to each other.” And they were surprised how
I was enjoying the way they were hitting each other and enjoying each other. So, this is how, I have to tell you that we
have to be friends. We have to share, enjoy sharing. There is no seriousness about it.
How can you be serious with your friend? Just relaxed enjoying each other’s company. Even
if you have to argue – argue, doesn’t matter. Even if you have a different view, it’s all
right. But, you should not try to impose yourself on your friend, nor your friend should try
to impose. But try to understand each other. That’s how we are going to learn such a lot.
You have to learn such a lot from each other. For example, I learnt so much from French
you’ll be surprised. Learnt lot of things from French, the way they have their art,
their ideas of art, their music, their culture. Lots of things to be learnt. So, you have
friends in India, you have friends everywhere, you have friends now in South America. Everywhere
you have friends. You just go ahead with My badge. Finished. Oh! They will all jump for
you, they will do anything for you. So, this friendship, just think of it in this
world we have thousands and thousands of friends everywhere we go. And this is what we have
to know within ourselves that we have to be ourselves very, very friendly type, very friendly.
There is an openness between one friend and another friend. There is no closeness. There
is no tension. There is no formality. And, reliance. So much so that you can talk to
them about what you want, what is your need and what problems you have. I hope you understand that love means complete
freedom to yourself and to others. If you love someone, then there is complete freedom
and understanding. But this love has to be very, very pure. Complete understanding. You
have to feel that friendship. And, you will feel very proud that you have so many friends.
And real friends! You have so many friends who are real friends. You will be so very
– feeling a thing as if you are a great personality that you have so many friends in this world.
You are not alone. Imagine before this what we had, so many saints,
so many great souls were born and they were treated like singular people and tortured,
killed, poisoned. They were alone. But you are not. You are all – are friends to each
other and the greatest friend you have is the Divine power, which is looking after you
and doing everything for you. If you have that kind of a relaxed, beautiful alertness
within you, you are going to enjoy life. You are going to enjoy Sahaja Yoga and you are
going to get many, many more people in Sahaja Yoga. And, if you don’t have this among yourselves
then people are going to say, “Oh Mother, whatever You may say but Sahaja Yogis are
no good.” So, for today, in this country of France where
we have got liberation, where we have fought for liberation, let us take to real liberation,
the real liberation of the soul of our spirit to enjoy. Enjoy everything that is available
with understanding. May God bless you all!

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