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16 Personalities as Boyfriends

October 5, 2019


– We had a great night tonight, right? Even though I did crash your car while trying to steer using only my teeth. I’ve been planning this date
for a while, but it’s simple. A simple night out, dinner and drinks, and then a secondary location
for some more drinks, a tertiary location for some more drinks, a party, an after party,
an after after party, waking up in a different time zone. I don’t know all the details. We can just play it by
ear, but it’s a plan. I’m really glad that you wanted to have a quiet evening at
home, just the two of us, because I have been dying
to try this new recipe. Move the flip over, Julia Child. We’ve got two tickets to Flavortown. If you don’t hurry up with your make up, we are gonna miss our dinner reservation. Look, I know what your face looks like. Who do you think you’re fooling? I’m sorry that I snapped at you on the way to our picnic, today. It was just such a long walk and I’m sorry that I
drank all the lemonade and ate all the food
before we even got there, but I needed sustenance. I was fading. To make sure that we go
to the best restaurant for our date tonight, I
came with a little bracket. We can fill in up to 30 restaurants. I’ve got Chili’s versus
Applebee’s in the first round. What are you thinking? Yeah boy, I am killing
it on this date tonight. I have been so suave. All that dating advice that
I read online has paid off. I held the doors open for her, I ask all the right questions. I am irresistible. – [Woman] Were you listening
to anything I just said? – Look, I’ve gotta tell you something, something that I’ve never
told any woman before. (slow piano music) I’m amazed that I’m not bored of you yet. Girl, you are a work of art. You put the Mona Lisa to shame, although she’s not that
attractive to begin with, so it’s probably a bad comparison. Well, my sincerest apologies
for answering honestly when you asked me if your butt
looked big in those pants. I mean what do you want me to say? You want me to say it looks small? Oh yeah, it’s smaller than average. Oh, I can barely see it it’s so small. What butt? What are we even talking about? I don’t even notice it. All right, it’s time
for our weekly check in. I’ll tell you all the
things that I love about you and you tell me all the
things you love about me, and then we’ll move on to
opportunities for improvement. Ooh, I just had a spicy idea. On the car road home, let’s
find something really trivial to argue about for no reason. Look, I normally don’t get
all touchy feely like this, but I enjoy spending time
in your company, okay? And I hope we can spend more
time together in the future, at least until we get sick of each other. Ah, there I go again, getting all sappy. Pull it together, man. Come on. I know we’ve only been dating for a year. This might be moving way
too fast, but what if we start acknowledging
each other in public during daylight hours. I’ve had a really great
time with you today. It was even better than
I imagined it would be, as I wrote in my journal last night. I mean what? Who said that? I don’t have a journal. Ooh, I know that look. I can tell you just wanna turn
down the lights, real low, and share our deepest insecurities and traumas with each other. I mean what? I don’t… While I was trying to drive your truck. Truck? Is this a country girl?

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